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Classroom of the Elite Vol.7 Chap 5 OLD vs. NEW

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Chapter 5:

Time to Settle Things

“THIS BRINGS US to the end of homeroom,” said Sakagami-sensei, Class C’s teacher. “I’d like to remind everyone to please be on your best behavior, even during winter vacation, and to make good use of your time. That’s all.”

I took out my phone as I listened to his gracious, meaningless words. It was the final day of the second semester, and our classes finished early, leaving us free by afternoon. There were no club activities today, either. The school encouraged students to head back early, so that hardly anyone would be left in the building.

I took out my phone as I listened to his gracious, meaningless words. Today was the day of the closing ceremony—the final day of the second semester. Our classes finished early, leaving us free by afternoon. There were no club activities today, either. The school encouraged students to head back early, so hardly anyone would be left in the building.

In other words, it was finally time to strike.

“I eliminated everyone I can, but that still leaves about ten possible candidates,” I muttered to myself. Some were people I’d never even spoken to, but it couldn’t be helped. I would’ve preferred to do this without using Karuizawa, but X had eluded me so far.

“Well, I guess this just means I get to have some more fun.”

I’d taken certain steps after the Paper Shuffle. I mobilized every Class C student and assigned them targets to spy on. Despite my narrowing the list to delinquents like Sudou and Miyake, and conservative people like Hirata, those Class D punks had noticed, which was fine by me. I wanted them constantly aware that I was watching. I wanted X to spend his days trembling with fear, terrified of having his identity discovered.

To be honest, there was a particular person I’d had my eye on all along, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions yet. If anything, it would be all the more fun to be able to confront X with a clear head and no doubts.

Yet he continued to use Suzune as a cover, stubbornly hiding his identity, which meant I had to tighten the noose.

I’d taken certain steps after the Paper Shuffle. I mobilized every Class C student and assigned them targets to spy on. Of course, it wasn’t like tailing people was likely to get me much closer to discovering X’s identity. I excluded the weaklings, narrowing my list of suspects to delinquents like Sudou and Miyake, and conservative people like Hirata.

Though I’d all but told X I’d target Karuizawa, I had yet to make a move. I was sure he’d been on edge these past two weeks or so. He probably wondered how I’d contact Karuizawa, how I’d extract information from her. He was likely asking her daily whether anything out of the ordinary had happened. He’d be exhausted, paranoid, and jumping at shadows. Now, I was ready to corner him.

The Class D punks had noticed they were being tailed—except for Sudou, who was so dumb and oblivious I’d had to have my people provoke him directly. But being noticed was fine by me. I wanted them constantly aware that I was watching. I wanted X to spend their days trembling with fear, terrified of having their identity discovered.

Even though it’d only been a few minutes since dismissal, more than half the class had left. The clock on the wall seemed as if it was ticking slower than normal. My heart raced. It’d been years since I felt this kind of exhilaration.

Yet they’d continued to use Suzune as a cover, stubbornly keeping themselves hidden. Which meant I had to tighten the noose.

Ibuki had asked why I risked so much just to identify X. She called it meaningless. She was right that I only cared about discovering his identity, at least. Fighting Class D led me to understand that X thought and moved like me. I’d never met another person like myself before, and that fascination drove me onward.

One more thing. Though I’d all but told X I’d target Karuizawa, I had yet to make a move. I was sure they’d been on edge these past two weeks or so, probably wondering how and when I’d contact Karuizawa, how I’d extract information from her. Chances were, they were asking her daily whether anything out of the ordinary had happened. The uncertainty would take it out of them. It would confuse them. They’d be exhausted, paranoid, and jumping at shadows, constantly imagining me breathing down their neck.

I wondered how I would feel when I came face-to-face with X, and what my next goal would be. X had entertained me for so long. The thought of meeting him quickened my pulse, almost like first love.

Which made today the best day for me to strike. Now, I was ready to corner them.

I would do anything, use any means, to find him. The text I’d sent to X this morning was already marked as read. He knew what was going to happen today. I wondered what he would do.

Even though it’d only been a few minutes since dismissal, more than half the class had left. The clock on the wall seemed as if it was ticking slower than normal.

“Ryuuen-kun,” said Shiina Hiyori, who sat right beside me.

“Heh heh…”

My heart raced. It’d been years since I felt this kind of exhilaration.

Ibuki had asked why I risked so much just to identify X. She called it meaningless. She was right that I didn’t care about anything past discovering X’s identity, at least. Ibuki thought I’d feel disappointed once I found out who X was. That might be true of normal people, but fighting Class D had led me to understand that X thought and moved like me. I’d never met another person like myself before. That fascination drove me onward.

I wondered how I would feel when I came face-to-face with X, and what my next goal would be. X had entertained me for so long. The thought of meeting them made my pulse quicken, almost like first love.

I would do anything, use any means, to find them. The text I’d sent to X this morning was already marked as read. They knew what was going to happen today. What would they do, then? What kind of plan would they devise?

“Ryuuen-kun,” said Shiina Hiyori, who sat right beside me.

“What?” I asked.

“Everyone seems really restless today, don’t they?” she asked, surveying the room. The remaining students all drew nearer to me. “What are you planning?”

“I’m going to confront my entertaining quarry of these past several months. You wanna come?” I asked.

“No, I must decline. I don’t quite see how that would be fun.” Shiina paused, then said, “Do you really need to hunt them down?”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. I suppose that’s for you to decide, Ryuuen-kun, as our class’s leader.” She stood. “I’ll be in the library. If there’s any trouble, please contact me.”

“It’s not like you’ll be of any use, though, is it?” I asked.

“I suppose you’re right. Well, have a nice winter vacation.”

She said that calmly, without a trace of fear, then left. Hiyori was clever, but she hated conflict, which made her useless as a pawn. I finished my final preparations, then gathered my people.

She said that calmly, without a trace of fear, then left. Hiyori was clever, but she hated conflict, which made her useless as a pawn. People who obediently followed me around were much easier to use.

I finished my final preparations, then gathered my people.

“It’s time, isn’t it, Ryuuen-san?” said Ishizaki, looking restless.

“Let’s make the most of today,” I told him.

I handed Ishizaki a bag. Ibuki and Albert stood up, too. I didn’t need large numbers for this. I needed people who were tight-lipped, because we were about to do something that would shock this proper, well-behaved school to its core.

I handed Ishizaki a bag with certain indispensable items in it. Ibuki and Albert stood up, too. I didn’t need large numbers for this. I needed people who were tight-lipped, because we were about to do something that would shock this proper, well-behaved school to its core.

5.1

THIRTY MINUTES AFTER homeroom ended, winter vacation had begun. The campus was practically deserted. As with summer vacation, the students stampeded back to their dorms, leaving barely anyone to witness our bold movements.

“So, where are we going? Cut the crap and tell us,” said Ibuki.

I’d said nothing of my current strategy to anyone, to eliminate the possibility of spies like Manabe and her friends. Ibuki and the rest only knew that I’d ordered Ishizaki and the other guys to keep an eye on Miyake and a few more people. Therefore, they didn’t know the real reason I’d pressed Kouenji.

I had no doubt that X would do whatever necessary to keep their identity hidden. So, I’d hidden my plans as much as possible to improve my chances of cornering them.

“Concerned, Ibuki?”

“You make me nervous, dragging me around for all your stupid schemes.”

“You make me nervous, dragging me into all your stupid schemes.”

“You remember Karuizawa, right? She’s the reason Manabe and her friends were strong-armed into spying on us for Class D.”

Ishizaki might have been curious about my true intentions as well, because he drew in closer, too.

“You remember Karuizawa, right?” I said. “She’s the reason Manabe and her friends were strong-armed into spying on us for Class D.”

“That loud girl from Class D, right?” Ibuki had infiltrated Class D on the deserted island, so she knew its students quite well.

“I sent Karuizawa a message today, asking her to come to the rooftop. Karuizawa knows I sent it, too. I got her email address from another girl in her class.” I avoided saying the traitor’s name. It wasn’t yet necessary for me to talk about Kushida Kikyou.

“I sent Karuizawa a message today, asking her to come to the rooftop. Karuizawa knows I was the one who sent it, too. I got her email address from another girl in her class.” I avoided saying the traitor’s name. It wasn’t necessary for me to reveal Kushida Kikyou’s part in this yet.

“Huh? The rooftop? No way Karuizawa will come if you ask her.”

“She’ll definitely show. I told her that, if she doesn’t, I’ll expose her past.”

If that pathetic bullying story went public, her social life would be dead in the water. She had no choice but to bite the bullet and turn up.

If that pathetic bullying story went public, it would cause an uproar. Her social life would be dead in the water. She had no choice but to bite the bullet and turn up.

“Even if Karuizawa does show, do you think she’d tell you X’s identity?”

“Normally? No.” X almost certainly promised to protect Karuizawa from all her enemies. “But I sent X a message, too. I told him I was meeting Karuizawa today, and that I was going to learn his identity from her. That I’d use any means necessary to get what I wanted.”

“I suppose she wouldn’t let that slip, normally…”

“But…you sent a threatening message to Karuizawa, right? What if she tattles to the school? If X puts the idea in her head, she might.” Ibuki glared at me, as if wondering why I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Normally? No.” X had almost certainly promised to protect Karuizawa from all her enemies. “But I sent X a message, too. I told them I was meeting Karuizawa today, and that I was going to learn their identity from her. That I’d use any means necessary to get what I wanted. That way, I’m not just threatening Karuizawa, but also threatening X at the same time.”

“But…you sent a threatening message to Karuizawa, right? What if she tattles to the school? If X puts the idea in her head, she might.” Ibuki glared at me, as if demanding to know why I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“She won’t do that. If she does, I’ll expose her right away. No matter what she tries, Karuizawa can’t turn the tables on us.”

The only countermeasure at their disposal would be if X showed up to confront me directly instead of Karuizawa.

“The worst-case scenario,” I said, “will be if X shows up instead of Karuizawa. Regardless, it’s going to be fun to see what Karuizawa does.”

“I can’t imagine it’s worth the risk.”

“That’s not true at all. Crushing Karuizawa means crushing one of X’s most valuable pawns. It seems he’s used her in various ingenious ways.”

“That’s not true at all. Crushing Karuizawa means taking one of X’s most valuable pawns off the board. It seems they’ve been using her in various ingenious ways.”

“How do you know that? I mean, I understand that X threatened Manabe and her friends to protect Karuizawa, but…”

“Heh. Well, eyes forward, Ibuki. X aside, you’ll definitely get to see Karuizawa terrified by the threat of me exposing her past,” I said.

Even I had only recently realized that Karuizawa was one of X’s pawn. I had arrived at that conclusion precisely because of several incomprehensible things that happened during the Paper Shuffle.

“Heh. Well, eyes forward, Ibuki. X aside, you’ll definitely get to see Karuizawa terrified by the threat of me exposing how she was bullied in the past,” I said.

“If Karuizawa does show…what are you going to do if you can’t extract X’s identity from her?” asked Ishizaki. Both he and Ibuki seemed concerned.

“According to Manabe and her friends, Karuizawa was bullied quite viciously in the past. People who’ve been through such traumatic experiences tend to break down when placed in a similar scenario. Let’s put on a show for her. We’ll reenact her past until she tells us X’s identity.”

“According to Manabe and her friends, Karuizawa was bullied quite viciously in the past. People who’ve been through such traumatic experiences tend to lose control of themselves when placed in a similar scenario. Why don’t we go ahead and reproduce those memories for her? Let’s put on a show. We’ll reenact her past until she tells us X’s identity.”

“No way. This is insane!” said Ibuki.

“This is extreme, Ryuuen-san. A bunch of us ganging up on and bullying a girl? I mean, there are cameras on the rooftop!”

“I’m fully aware of that. I have a plan.”

I began ascending the stairs to the roof. Halfway up, I stopped and looked back at Ibuki and Ishizaki.

I began ascending the stairs to the roof. Halfway up, I stopped and looked back at Ibuki and Ishizaki, who were lagging a couple steps behind.

“If you don’t like it, run,” I told them.

“I-I won’t run. I’ll follow you, Ryuuen-san.”

“What about you, Ibuki?”

“It all depends on your plan. If I think it’s dangerous, I’ll leave.” She’d been curious about X’s identity for some time now, too.

I had Ibuki, Albert, and Ishizaki wait near the rooftop door, taking the bag from Ishizaki. I removed the necessary tools, then handed the bag back.

“This is…”

“Wait.”

I opened the door. It was rare for a school rooftop to be accessible year-round, and ours was, because it had both proper fencing and a surveillance camera. Students knew this, which was why they behaved themselves up here. However, the roof was also a secluded spot. With its cafés and mall, the campus had many much more popular hangouts. I was probably the only one eccentric enough to often come all the way up here.

I opened the door. It was rare for a school rooftop to be accessible year-round. The reason this one did was because it had both proper fencing and a surveillance camera. Any dangerous activities would be recorded. Students knew this, which was why they behaved themselves up here.

There was only one surveillance camera on this particular roof, positioned above the door. That was more than enough to view nearly the entire rooftop, leaving almost no blind spots. It was the same kind of camera as the ones in the school building: vandalism-proof, with a strong polycarbonate lens and tough steel body. But there was more than one way to disable a camera.

However, the roof was also a secluded spot. With its cafes and mall, the campus had many much more popular hangouts. I was probably the only one eccentric enough to often come all the way up here.

There was also a limit to the number of cameras the school could install. There was only one surveillance camera on this particular roof, positioned above the door, which was the only real place a camera could be installed here. The one camera was more than enough to capture nearly the entire rooftop in its field of view, leaving almost no blind spots. The flipside of this, of course, was that if that one camera stopped functioning, the rooftop would be unmonitored.

It was the same kind of camera as the ones in the school building: vandalism-proof, with a strong polycarbonate lens and tough steel body that would be tough to break. But violence wasn’t the only way to disable a camera.

I stood directly underneath it and looked into the lens. I took the can of black spray paint I’d brought with me, pointed it at the lens, and sprayed.

“There. Safe from prying eyes,” I said.

I’d done my research. Of the hundreds of cameras installed throughout the school, only a limited number displayed footage in real time, and this wasn’t one of them. I’d painted a different surveillance camera before, to test my theory, and my only punishment when I reported what I’d done to Sakagami was paying to have it cleaned.

I’d done my research. Of the hundreds of cameras installed throughout the school, only a limited number displayed footage in real time, and this wasn’t one of them. The school authorities wouldn’t notice what was happening up here in time to stop it. I’d painted a different surveillance camera before, to test my theory, and my only punishment when I reported what I’d done to Sakagami was paying to have it cleaned.

The school was bound to be on low alert today, when most of the students had left.

“Albert, remain on standby down the stairs. When Karuizawa comes, let her pass. If anyone unexpected pays us a visit, like one of the teachers, call me right away.”

Albert nodded and went back downstairs.

“You painted over the camera?” asked Ibuki. “Isn’t that a punishable offense?”

“Just a simple prank.”

“Just a simple prank. Nothing to get worked up over.”

“We’d better hope Karuizawa shows up.”

“She’ll come. This is a matter of life and death for her.”

All that remained was to wait.

5.2

IT WAS ALMOST two in the afternoon, just shy of the time I’d set for Karuizawa, when the rooftop door opened. The leading lady of today’s show appeared, stiffening in the cold air.

IT WAS ALMOST TWO in the afternoon, just shy of the time I’d set for Karuizawa, when the rooftop door opened to admit a lone student. The leading lady of today’s show appeared, stiffening in the cold air.

“Heh. I knew you’d come, Karuizawa.”

I turned off my phone and slipped it into my pocket. Ibuki and Ishizaki faced Karuizawa, both looking a little nervous.

“The message you sent,” said Karuizawa. “What’s it supposed to mean?”

“There’s really no need to ask me that. You’re here precisely because you understand what it meant.”

My message had read, Manabe and her friends told me everything about your past. Come to the rooftop after class, alone. If you talk to anyone, word will spread through the entire school.

My message had read, Manabe and her friends told me everything about your past. Come to the rooftop after class, alone. If you talk to anyone, word of your past will spread through the entire school.

“I’m guessing you told no one, as I instructed? Well, it’s not like you had a choice. You can hardly let just anyone know about your past, after all.” Karuizawa might’ve panicked and alerted X, considering that X alone probably knew her secret, but I didn’t really care. As I told Ibuki and the others, I’d sent X a message myself. “You came alone after all, huh?”

Just mentioning Manabe and her friends was enough to guarantee Karuizawa would understand what the message meant. She had no choice but to understand it.

“You told me to.”

Today, I’d pass judgment on Karuizawa. And then, I’d hound her for X’s identity. Whether or not she’d asked for help, it didn’t matter. The end result would be the same.

“You came alone after all, huh?” I asked.

“You told me to, didn’t you?”

“Heh. Suppose so.”

“Look. I really don’t, like, have a single clue what you’re talking about, but it’s cold out. I wanna finish this quick.” Karuizawa rubbed her arms. She was a poor actress.

It wasn’t like X, who’d done so much to hide their identity in the first place, was going to carelessly show up here. And Karuizawa couldn’t ask for help from anyone other than X, because if she did, then her past would be exposed. The same applied to X, who wanted to keep their identity hidden. In other words, both of their options were severely limited.

“Look. I really don’t, like, have a single clue what you’re talking about, but it’s cold out. I wanna finish this quick.” Karuizawa rubbed her arms, as if she had a chance of pretending she didn’t know what was going on. She was a poor actress.

“In that case, why come here? You should’ve just ignored me.”

“Well, that’s…because I didn’t want any lies spreading around.”

She was trying her hardest to appear calm, but I easily called her bluff. “Lies, huh? Everyone here knows the truth… that you were bullied before you started high school.”

“Ah…” When confronted with that, her face changed.

“Ah…” When confronted with that, her behavior changed.

“It was a stroke of luck that Manabe and her friends found out. If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself for not handling them better.”

“What do you want? What do you gain by threatening me?”

“What would you do if I told you I’m just killing time?” Though I still had plenty of leverage, Karuizawa was already out of options.

“If you do anything to me…I-I’ll tell the school,” she stammered.

“You came here alone because you know you can’t do that.”

“Aren’t you getting carried away, Ryuuen? She might still have something up her sleeve,” Ibuki said.

“Aren’t you getting carried away, Ryuuen? She might still have something up her sleeve,” Ibuki said. She still seemed to suspect something was up, since Karuizawa had come to the rooftop alone.

“Karuizawa’s powerless to do anything except rely on X. Even if she records this conversation, it’s not like she can do something with it. Being exposed is her number-one fear. As long as we hold that card, she’s at our mercy.”

“Karuizawa’s powerless to do anything but rely on X. No need to be so cautious. Even if she records this conversation, it’s not like she can do anything with it. Having her past exposed is her greatest fear. As long as we hold that card, she’s at our mercy.”

“But—”

“Enough. Shut up.”

I already knew what Ibuki wanted to say. Manabe and her friends had been threatened with evidence of them bullying Karuizawa. Ibuki was anxious that we might be blackmailed the same way, but that wasn’t going to happen. I would make sure of it.

I already knew what Ibuki wanted to say. She was going to say that Manabe and her friends had been threatened with evidence of them bullying Karuizawa. They’d been forced to lay off her, made to promise they wouldn’t speak a word of it to anyone, and then strongarmed into digging their own graves by giving away information about Class C.

It was true that if I exposed Karuizawa’s past to the school, I’d lose my hold over her. I’d crush Karuizawa, but X would get away. I had to find the person hiding behind Karuizawa. I had to learn X’s true identity here and now, and to do that, I needed to gauge the strength of the connection between Karuizawa and X.

Ibuki was anxious that evidence of what we were doing up here might be used to blackmail us the same way, but that wasn’t going to happen. I would make sure of it.

“Let’s stop going in circles. You want me to let you off, right? Tell me your protector’s identity. If you do, I’ll keep quiet about your past,” I told her.

Karuizawa’s past was our weapon. As long as I made good use of that weapon, we had nothing to fear. Anyone trying to drive us into a corner would be doing the same to Karuizawa. And the danger there went both ways, of course. It was a double-edged sword.

“I don’t get what you mean.” Karuizawa looked upset. She’d known that I was looking for the Class D mastermind, but now, she realized that we’d figured out her connection to him.

I had to use the information at my disposal to cause enough disruption to be effective, but if I went ahead and entirely exposed Karuizawa’s past to the school, I’d have nothing left to threaten her with. I’d crush Karuizawa, but X would get away. I had to find the person hiding behind Karuizawa. I had to learn X’s true identity here and now, and to do that, I needed to gauge the strength of the connection between Karuizawa and X.

“Let’s stop going in circles. You want me to let you off, right? Tell me the identity of the person hiding behind you. If you do, I’ll keep quiet about your past,” I told her.

“I don’t, like, get what you mean.” Karuizawa looked upset. She’d known that I was looking for the Class D mastermind, but until now, probably hadn’t realized that we’d figured out her connection to them.

“X saved you from Manabe and her friends, right?”

“H-huh? You’re wrong.”

“It’s pointless to hide. I’ve got evidence.”

“Evidence?”

It seemed X had kept more details from Karuizawa than I’d thought. I would slowly and methodically exert more pressure on her until her back was up against the wall.

“How do you think X protected you from them?”

“I have no idea. Besides, they weren’t bullying me. Even if you say this stuff about X, or whatever—”

“Okay, okay. I get it. If you’re not going to ‘fess up, I’ll tell you the facts. X threatened to expose Manabe and her friends for bullying you if they didn’t do as he said. He forced them to betray me during the sports festival.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. If you’re not going to fess up, I’ll just tell you.” Looked like she wasn’t going to spill the beans unless she had the facts laid out for her. “X threatened to expose Manabe and her friends for bullying you if they didn’t do as they said. That’s how they got them to keep their mouths shut.”

“What are you talking about? Seriously, I have no clue—”

Karuizawa didn’t answer. All she did was glare at me.

“Heh heh. I see… So, you did know how X kept Manabe and her friends quiet, then.”

“I-I didn’t say anything.”

“No, you didn’t. But your eyes told me the truth quite well on their own.”

I continued speaking.

“If that was all X did, I wouldn’t care. But that wasn’t enough for them. You see, X forced Manabe and her friends to betray me during the sports festival, too. They made them be their spies and leak information to them by threatening to expose the fact that they’d been bullying you.”

“What are you talking about? Seriously, I have no clue—”

“Your eyes are shifty, aren’t they? Seems like this is the first time you heard about the sports festival.”

Perhaps Karuizawa actually didn’t know who X was. If X always contacted her with an anonymous email address, then… No. I didn’t think Karuizawa would follow orders from someone she couldn’t see and didn’t know. If she really wasn’t sure of his identity, she would’ve said as much by now.

There’s no way, I thought. Perhaps Karuizawa actually didn’t know who X was? If X always contacted her with an anonymous email address, then…

“All I want is X’s name. I honestly couldn’t care less about your past. Wouldn’t it be wisest to comply?”

No. I didn’t think Karuizawa would follow orders from someone she couldn’t see and didn’t know. If she really had no idea who they were, why not just admit she’d worked with them to an extent but knew nothing more? If she was denying that she knew anything, there had to be a reason for it.

“No matter how many times you ask, my answer’s the same. I don’t know anything. Seriously, it’s cold out here…”

“All I want is X’s name. The name of the person who’s been attacking me. I honestly couldn’t care less about your past. Wouldn’t it be wisest to comply?”

“No matter how many times you ask, my answer’s the same. I don’t know anything. Seriously, it’s cold out here…” She was wearing extremely thin clothing. Perhaps she hadn’t intended on being out here very long.

“Yeah, it sure is cold, isn’t it? Don’t you want to finish our little chat quickly and head back inside?”

“I have nothing to say.”

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“I’m guessing X promised to protect you from things like this, right?” I asked.
Karuizawa’s eyes darted around. She couldn’t hide her thoughts.
“If your past became known, your headstrong, bossy attitude would work against you. People other than Manabe and her friends might target you then,” I said. “You must spend every day wracked with fear that they’ll all learn the truth. Yet you managed to come this far. Why? Because of the person who saved you and supported you.”
“And you think that person’s X?” asked Ibuki.
“For now. But that’s only been the case recently, right?” I asked Karuizawa. “X only learned the truth after your spat with Manabe and her friends. You made Hirata pretend to be your boyfriend to protect yourself, didn’t you?”
Karuizawa’s pupils dilated. “Y-you’re wrong…”
“But I’m not, am I? Don’t lie to me, Karuizawa.” I peered deep into her eyes, as if I could see all the way to the darkness buried within. X must’ve done the same.
“How could you know that, Ryuuen?” Ibuki sounded shocked, too.
“Experience. I’ve dealt with tons of rotten people in my life,” I told them.
“Ugh…oof. S-sorry to have kept you waiting.” Ishizaki returned, carrying two buckets almost completely full of water. Their contents splashed violently.
Ibuki barraged me with questions again. “You said that there were two buckets. How did you know?”
“You have no idea how many surveillance cameras this school has, do you?”
“Huh? Of course not.”
“The school might appear to strictly enforce a code of behavior, but that’s not entirely true. There are loopholes that allow the use of forceful methods, if you play your cards right,” I continued. “The student body’s power players are the ones constantly testing the boundaries of what the school allows.”
Researching the surveillance cameras, bribing the senior students, and making the back-alley deal with Class A were all part of my experiments to ascertain what I could and couldn’t do.
“What we’re about to do to Karuizawa is one such experiment,” I said.
Karuizawa started to shiver.
“Trauma can be awakened more strongly through the senses than through words,” I added.
I signaled Ishizaki with one glance. Ibuki pushed Karuizawa forward and then stepped away. In accordance with my orders, Ishizaki dumped a bucket of water on Karuizawa’s head.
“Ah!”
Being doused outdoors, in the middle of winter, would chill anyone to the bone. Karuizawa collapsed, shivering, and hugged herself tight. Her bravado was gone, washed away by just one bucket of water.
“Do you remember the baptism you received at your previous school?” I asked.
“N-no!” She covered her ears and sat there, her whole body trembling, as if she were a little girl afraid of ghosts.
“Come on, we’re just getting started.” I took out my phone and began recording. I pushed Karuizawa’s wet bangs from her eyes, watching her spirit begin to break. “If you won’t talk, then I’ll circulate this video throughout the school.”
That was a lie, but Karuizawa was no longer in any state to tell.
“Come on, scream. Beg me to have mercy.”
“N-no!”
“I can’t watch this. I knew I shouldn’t have helped you,” said Ibuki, averting her eyes.
I crouched beside Karuizawa. “Here’s the thing about human nature. People don’t change. You were designed to be bullied, not to bully. Remember that.”
I picked up the other bucket and dumped the water over Karuizawa.
“Aaahhhh!” She curled into a ball, shrinking in fear.
“Ishizaki. Get more.”
“Y-yes.” Ishizaki picked up the two empty buckets and headed downstairs.
“Who’s protecting you?” I demanded.
“There’s…no one… No one, no one, no one!” Karuizawa screamed. She shook her head fervently.
“Still trying to hide it? I guess you do have spirit. Or maybe it’s just that you’re used to being bullied? Maybe this doesn’t even qualify as bullying for you.” I grabbed Karuizawa’s arm and yanked her to her feet.
“I can’t watch this,” Ibuki said again.
“This is where the fun begins,” I said.
“You’re evil. This is disgusting.” But Ibuki didn’t leave. She leaned up against the door instead. “I’ll leave after you get a name out of her,” she said.
“Fine by me.”
I wasn’t doing this to entertain Ibuki. I was breaking Karuizawa for my own pleasure.
5.3
 
I WAS FREEZING. Icy water dripped from my hair. They’d dumped water over me four times now. My uniform was soaked right through; even my underwear was wet. But my chilled body didn’t scare me. It was the ice in my heart that did.
“Come on. That’s enough, Karuizawa. Make things easier on yourself. There’s no need to suffer any further,” Ryuuen sneered.
That was a dead end, though. If I told him about Kiyotaka, it might reprieve me temporarily, but there was no guarantee that Ryuuen wouldn’t try to blackmail me again. He might even command me to betray Class D. Misery was all that awaited people who continued to betray others.
I would hold on to hope until the very end. I’d believe in Kiyotaka’s words, and his promise that he’d protect me. That was my final defense against being swallowed up by the darkness.
“I know what you’re thinking. If you give up X, you’ll lose his protection. All hope will be lost,” said Ryuuen.
My teeth loudly chattered from the cold. I struggled desperately to stop, but my mind had already abandoned me. Repulsive memories emerged from the back of my brain. The past and present overlapped.

“Do you want to die without hope? Are you okay with going back to the way things were?” Ryuuen’s vicious words cut me. “X can’t save you. I can, if you help me.”
I was scared.
“If you won’t cooperate, though, I have no choice but to destroy you.”
Save me.
“I’m going to invent vile lies about you and tell them to the whole school.”
I’m scared.
“When that happens, will you be able to keep your position in your class?”
Save me.
“No. You’ll just go back to being what you were before. You’ll be back to the real you, that pathetic girl who was always bullied.”
“No, no, no no no! No no no no!”
“Then make things easier. Protect yourself.”
“Please, forgive me! Please, forgive me!”
My pride had already shattered. No, that wasn’t true. It’d shattered before, and I pieced it back together. The Karuizawa Kei who made a new life for herself was dying. I could feel my second chance crumbling into dust.
“I’m not merciful like Manabe and her friends,” said Ryuuen. “We know your secret. Even if you get me expelled, I’ll spread rumors of your past. Your own classmates will smell blood in the water and turn on you!”
“No, no, no…”
Despite myself, I remembered. I remembered junior high and the hell I’d created for myself. I was stubborn, headstrong, and I made enemies of the other girls for no reason. What followed was a nightmare.
Writing hateful graffiti on my textbooks and throwing my notebooks away? That was just cute. They dumped water on me while I used the bathroom. They punched and kicked me. They recorded me getting beaten up and circulated the videos. They put thumbtacks in my shoes and dead animals in my desk.
I remembered all of it.
They pulled my skirt down in front of our classmates. They hid my underwear and uniform after swimming class. They made me confess romantic feelings to boys I didn’t actually like. They made me lick their shoes. They even made me pick garbage off the ground and eat it.
I remembered.
After a while, I learned to accept whatever happened. To accept reality. Accept that Ryuuen was bullying me again. Accept that it was going to start all over. That the girls who were now kind to me, who were my friends, would change.
The only thing my old school ever did for me was tell me about this school. They threw me a lifeline by letting me go someplace where no one knew me. If no one knew me, then I—
I looked up at the sky as tears ran down my face. No. I didn’t want this.
I didn’t want to go back.
I’ll save you.
Kiyotaka had promised he’d protect me, but he wasn’t here. Didn’t he see the message I sent him? I’d also looked at him, begged him quietly. Our eyes had met. He definitely saw me.
He told me he’d protect me. Had I been a fool to believe him? I didn’t know anymore. He cut me off with no guarantee he’d keep Manabe and her friends at bay. He said it wasn’t necessary for him to manipulate the class further.
I was just an afterthought. Did he abandon me?
“Do you see anyone coming, Albert? I see.” Ryuuen exhaled, telling me, “I assume you’re holding on to the hope that someone’s coming to save you. But it doesn’t look like it.”
Ah. So, I’d been abandoned after all.
“It seems like you trust X quite a bit, Karuizawa.” Ryuuen sighed in exasperation. “You were tricked.”
“No, that’s wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. I’ll tell you the truth about the cruise ship test. The truth X never told you.”
“The tr-truth?”
Ryuuen’s smile disappeared.
“Manabe wanted to get back at you for being mean to her friend, but she couldn’t find the right time or place…until you went down to the lowest floor alone for some reason. Why?”
“That was—” Because Yousuke-kun had asked me to. I’d depended on Yousuke-kun, the host I attached myself to like a parasite. That was why I went.
Then Manabe and her friends showed up…
“Do you really think it was a coincidence?”
Once again, Ryuuen saw right through me.
“Manabe and her friends couldn’t follow you around all the time, especially not on such a big ship. Them showing up wasn’t coincidental, but an inevitability.”
So Yousuke-kun had tricked me?
No…
That couldn’t be.
“You know it already, don’t you? X contacted Manabe and then set you up. He tricked Manabe by claiming he hated you too, and would help her get you. Granted, she was an idiot for taking the bait so easily.”
I did remember how strange it’d seemed. Yousuke-kun asked me to meet him there, but in the end, he never showed. I understood now that Kiyotaka had instructed Yousuke-kun to get me there alone.
“X set you up and let Manabe bully you so he could record it to use against her. You weren’t saved. You were trapped. Pretty stupid, huh?”
I’d been…tricked?
“Look around. Is X here right now? Is X saving you? It’s reasonable to assume that X cut all ties with you when his identity was about to be exposed.”
No, that wasn’t…
That couldn’t be…
I’d been caught in Kiyotaka’s trap. He let me think he might save me. He even made me help him. But when I needed him, he abandoned me.
“Well, there’s still one way for you to save yourself,” said Ryuuen.
A name.
Kiyotaka’s name.
“That’s right. It’ll all be over.” Ryuuen laughed again, as if reading my mind. “If you give me the name, I promise never to bother you again.”
All I had to say was “Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.” My despair and anger at being betrayed forced my lips to begin to move against my will. But no sound emerged. It was too cold to speak.
“Just take it slow. Give me the name.”
“K…” I was trembling all over, but finally got one sound out.
“K…?” Ryuuen repeated the noise back to me.
“K…t…” Slowly, very slowly, I managed to squeeze more sounds out of my throat.
“One more time.” Ryuuen put his face closer to mine.
“C-cut…it…out. No matter how many times…”
The words came fast and sure now.
Because I…wouldn’t…
“No matter how many times you ask me…I’ll never, ever tell you…creep.”
At that, Ryuuen’s smile vanished. It felt like a single ray of light pierced the cloudy sky. With those words, I’d made my choice.
“Even if I lose everything I built at this school… No matter how much you put me through…” These weren’t Ryuuen’s words or Kiyotaka’s. They were mine. “I’ll never give you the name.”
Warmth flooded my chest.
“Are you certain, Karuizawa?”
Yes. I was. I might come to regret this…but I was okay with that.
“Even though X was just using you, you’re still protecting him?”
“I don’t know why.” But there was one thing I did know. “I’ll never, ever give in to you!”
My vision, which had grown hazy, suddenly sharpened once more.
“I see. That’s too bad, Karuizawa. I don’t want to do this, but you’ve left me no choice. Still, you have my respect. Despite all your trauma, and the one person you could rely on betraying you, you didn’t sell him out. I honestly admire you.”
This was fine.
Yousuke-kun, then Kiyotaka, had protected me. I’d been a girl who couldn’t protect herself. Even though I was betrayed, though, I hadn’t betrayed him. I was broken, but still proud.
My life had never been very interesting, except when I worked with Kiyotaka. I had fun. I didn’t understand a lot of what we did, but I felt like I played the supporting role in some exciting story, aiding the hero from the wings.
The truth was, deep down, I still hoped he would save me. Ah, I was such an idiot. I’d just been dancing in the palm of his hand. Guess you reaped what you sowed, huh?
Somehow, underneath the cold winter sky, I felt glad.
Goodbye, fake me.
Welcome home to the real, cold, empty Karuizawa.

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Chapter 5:
Time to Settle Things
 
“THIS BRINGS US to the end of homeroom,” said Sakagami-sensei, Class C’s teacher. “I’d like to remind everyone to please be on your best behavior, even during winter vacation, and to make good use of your time. That’s all.”
I took out my phone as I listened to his gracious, meaningless words. Today was the day of the closing ceremony—the final day of the second semester. Our classes finished early, leaving us free by afternoon. There were no club activities today, either. The school encouraged students to head back early, so hardly anyone would be left in the building.
In other words, it was finally time to strike.
“I eliminated everyone I can, but that still leaves about ten possible candidates,” I muttered to myself. Some were people I’d never even spoken to, but it couldn’t be helped. I would’ve preferred to do this without using Karuizawa, but X had eluded me so far.
“Well, I guess this just means I get to have some more fun.”
To be honest, there was a particular person I’d had my eye on all along, but I couldn’t jump to conclusions yet. If anything, it would be all the more fun to be able to confront X with a clear head and no doubts.
I’d taken certain steps after the Paper Shuffle. I mobilized every Class C student and assigned them targets to spy on. Of course, it wasn’t like tailing people was likely to get me much closer to discovering X’s identity. I excluded the weaklings, narrowing my list of suspects to delinquents like Sudou and Miyake, and conservative people like Hirata.
The Class D punks had noticed they were being tailed—except for Sudou, who was so dumb and oblivious I’d had to have my people provoke him directly. But being noticed was fine by me. I wanted them constantly aware that I was watching. I wanted X to spend their days trembling with fear, terrified of having their identity discovered.
Yet they’d continued to use Suzune as a cover, stubbornly keeping themselves hidden. Which meant I had to tighten the noose.
One more thing. Though I’d all but told X I’d target Karuizawa, I had yet to make a move. I was sure they’d been on edge these past two weeks or so, probably wondering how and when I’d contact Karuizawa, how I’d extract information from her. Chances were, they were asking her daily whether anything out of the ordinary had happened. The uncertainty would take it out of them. It would confuse them. They’d be exhausted, paranoid, and jumping at shadows, constantly imagining me breathing down their neck.
Which made today the best day for me to strike. Now, I was ready to corner them.
Even though it’d only been a few minutes since dismissal, more than half the class had left. The clock on the wall seemed as if it was ticking slower than normal.
“Heh heh…”
My heart raced. It’d been years since I felt this kind of exhilaration.
Ibuki had asked why I risked so much just to identify X. She called it meaningless. She was right that I didn’t care about anything past discovering X’s identity, at least. Ibuki thought I’d feel disappointed once I found out who X was. That might be true of normal people, but fighting Class D had led me to understand that X thought and moved like me. I’d never met another person like myself before. That fascination drove me onward.
I wondered how I would feel when I came face-to-face with X, and what my next goal would be. X had entertained me for so long. The thought of meeting them made my pulse quicken, almost like first love.
I would do anything, use any means, to find them. The text I’d sent to X this morning was already marked as read. They knew what was going to happen today. What would they do, then? What kind of plan would they devise?
“Ryuuen-kun,” said Shiina Hiyori, who sat right beside me.
“What?” I asked.
“Everyone seems really restless today, don’t they?” she asked, surveying the room. The remaining students all drew nearer to me. “What are you planning?”
“I’m going to confront my entertaining quarry of these past several months. You wanna come?” I asked.
“No, I must decline. I don’t quite see how that would be fun.” Shiina paused, then said, “Do you really need to hunt them down?”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. I suppose that’s for you to decide, Ryuuen-kun, as our class’s leader.” She stood. “I’ll be in the library. If there’s any trouble, please contact me.”
“It’s not like you’ll be of any use, though, is it?” I asked.
“I suppose you’re right. Well, have a nice winter vacation.”
She said that calmly, without a trace of fear, then left. Hiyori was clever, but she hated conflict, which made her useless as a pawn. People who obediently followed me around were much easier to use.
I finished my final preparations, then gathered my people.
“It’s time, isn’t it, Ryuuen-san?” said Ishizaki, looking restless.
“Let’s make the most of today,” I told him.
I handed Ishizaki a bag with certain indispensable items in it. Ibuki and Albert stood up, too. I didn’t need large numbers for this. I needed people who were tight-lipped, because we were about to do something that would shock this proper, well-behaved school to its core.
5.1
 
THIRTY MINUTES AFTER homeroom ended, winter vacation had begun. The campus was practically deserted. As with summer vacation, the students stampeded back to their dorms, leaving barely anyone to witness our bold movements.
“So, where are we going? Cut the crap and tell us,” said Ibuki.
I’d said nothing of my current strategy to anyone, to eliminate the possibility of spies like Manabe and her friends. Ibuki and the rest only knew that I’d ordered Ishizaki and the other guys to keep an eye on Miyake and a few more people. Therefore, they didn’t know the real reason I’d pressed Kouenji.
I had no doubt that X would do whatever necessary to keep their identity hidden. So, I’d hidden my plans as much as possible to improve my chances of cornering them.
“Concerned, Ibuki?”
“You make me nervous, dragging me into all your stupid schemes.”
Ishizaki might have been curious about my true intentions as well, because he drew in closer, too.
“You remember Karuizawa, right?” I said. “She’s the reason Manabe and her friends were strong-armed into spying on us for Class D.”
“That loud girl from Class D, right?” Ibuki had infiltrated Class D on the deserted island, so she knew its students quite well.
“I sent Karuizawa a message today, asking her to come to the rooftop. Karuizawa knows I was the one who sent it, too. I got her email address from another girl in her class.” I avoided saying the traitor’s name. It wasn’t necessary for me to reveal Kushida Kikyou’s part in this yet.
“Huh? The rooftop? No way Karuizawa will come if you ask her.”
“She’ll definitely show. I told her that, if she doesn’t, I’ll expose her past.”
If that pathetic bullying story went public, it would cause an uproar. Her social life would be dead in the water. She had no choice but to bite the bullet and turn up.
“Even if Karuizawa does show, do you think she’d tell you X’s identity?”
“I suppose she wouldn’t let that slip, normally…”
“Normally? No.” X had almost certainly promised to protect Karuizawa from all her enemies. “But I sent X a message, too. I told them I was meeting Karuizawa today, and that I was going to learn their identity from her. That I’d use any means necessary to get what I wanted. That way, I’m not just threatening Karuizawa, but also threatening X at the same time.”
“But…you sent a threatening message to Karuizawa, right? What if she tattles to the school? If X puts the idea in her head, she might.” Ibuki glared at me, as if demanding to know why I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“She won’t do that. If she does, I’ll expose her right away. No matter what she tries, Karuizawa can’t turn the tables on us.”
The only countermeasure at their disposal would be if X showed up to confront me directly instead of Karuizawa.
“The worst-case scenario,” I said, “will be if X shows up instead of Karuizawa. Regardless, it’s going to be fun to see what Karuizawa does.”
“I can’t imagine it’s worth the risk.”
“That’s not true at all. Crushing Karuizawa means taking one of X’s most valuable pawns off the board. It seems they’ve been using her in various ingenious ways.”
“How do you know that? I mean, I understand that X threatened Manabe and her friends to protect Karuizawa, but…”
Even I had only recently realized that Karuizawa was one of X’s pawn. I had arrived at that conclusion precisely because of several incomprehensible things that happened during the Paper Shuffle.
“Heh. Well, eyes forward, Ibuki. X aside, you’ll definitely get to see Karuizawa terrified by the threat of me exposing how she was bullied in the past,” I said.
“If Karuizawa does show…what are you going to do if you can’t extract X’s identity from her?” asked Ishizaki. Both he and Ibuki seemed concerned.
“According to Manabe and her friends, Karuizawa was bullied quite viciously in the past. People who’ve been through such traumatic experiences tend to lose control of themselves when placed in a similar scenario. Why don’t we go ahead and reproduce those memories for her? Let’s put on a show. We’ll reenact her past until she tells us X’s identity.”
“No way. This is insane!” said Ibuki.
“This is extreme, Ryuuen-san. A bunch of us ganging up on and bullying a girl? I mean, there are cameras on the rooftop!”
“I’m fully aware of that. I have a plan.”
I began ascending the stairs to the roof. Halfway up, I stopped and looked back at Ibuki and Ishizaki, who were lagging a couple steps behind.
“If you don’t like it, run,” I told them.
“I-I won’t run. I’ll follow you, Ryuuen-san.”
“What about you, Ibuki?”
“It all depends on your plan. If I think it’s dangerous, I’ll leave.” She’d been curious about X’s identity for some time now, too.
I had Ibuki, Albert, and Ishizaki wait near the rooftop door, taking the bag from Ishizaki. I removed the necessary tools, then handed the bag back.
“This is…”
“Wait.”
I opened the door. It was rare for a school rooftop to be accessible year-round. The reason this one did was because it had both proper fencing and a surveillance camera. Any dangerous activities would be recorded. Students knew this, which was why they behaved themselves up here.
However, the roof was also a secluded spot. With its cafes and mall, the campus had many much more popular hangouts. I was probably the only one eccentric enough to often come all the way up here.
There was also a limit to the number of cameras the school could install. There was only one surveillance camera on this particular roof, positioned above the door, which was the only real place a camera could be installed here. The one camera was more than enough to capture nearly the entire rooftop in its field of view, leaving almost no blind spots. The flipside of this, of course, was that if that one camera stopped functioning, the rooftop would be unmonitored.
It was the same kind of camera as the ones in the school building: vandalism-proof, with a strong polycarbonate lens and tough steel body that would be tough to break. But violence wasn’t the only way to disable a camera.
I stood directly underneath it and looked into the lens. I took the can of black spray paint I’d brought with me, pointed it at the lens, and sprayed.
“There. Safe from prying eyes,” I said.
I’d done my research. Of the hundreds of cameras installed throughout the school, only a limited number displayed footage in real time, and this wasn’t one of them. The school authorities wouldn’t notice what was happening up here in time to stop it. I’d painted a different surveillance camera before, to test my theory, and my only punishment when I reported what I’d done to Sakagami was paying to have it cleaned.
The school was bound to be on low alert today, when most of the students had left.
“Albert, remain on standby down the stairs. When Karuizawa comes, let her pass. If anyone unexpected pays us a visit, like one of the teachers, call me right away.”
Albert nodded and went back downstairs.
“You painted over the camera?” asked Ibuki. “Isn’t that a punishable offense?”
“Just a simple prank. Nothing to get worked up over.”
“We’d better hope Karuizawa shows up.”
“She’ll come. This is a matter of life and death for her.”
All that remained was to wait.
5.2
 
IT WAS ALMOST TWO in the afternoon, just shy of the time I’d set for Karuizawa, when the rooftop door opened to admit a lone student. The leading lady of today’s show appeared, stiffening in the cold air.
“Heh. I knew you’d come, Karuizawa.”
I turned off my phone and slipped it into my pocket. Ibuki and Ishizaki faced Karuizawa, both looking a little nervous.
“The message you sent,” said Karuizawa. “What’s it supposed to mean?”
“There’s really no need to ask me that. You’re here precisely because you understand what it meant.”
My message had read, Manabe and her friends told me everything about your past. Come to the rooftop after class, alone. If you talk to anyone, word of your past will spread through the entire school.
Just mentioning Manabe and her friends was enough to guarantee Karuizawa would understand what the message meant. She had no choice but to understand it.
“I’m guessing you told no one, as I instructed? Well, it’s not like you had a choice. You can hardly let just anyone know about your past, after all.” Karuizawa might’ve panicked and alerted X, considering that X alone probably knew her secret, but I didn’t really care. As I told Ibuki and the others, I’d sent X a message myself.
Today, I’d pass judgment on Karuizawa. And then, I’d hound her for X’s identity. Whether or not she’d asked for help, it didn’t matter. The end result would be the same.
“You came alone after all, huh?” I asked.
“You told me to, didn’t you?”
“Heh. Suppose so.”
It wasn’t like X, who’d done so much to hide their identity in the first place, was going to carelessly show up here. And Karuizawa couldn’t ask for help from anyone other than X, because if she did, then her past would be exposed. The same applied to X, who wanted to keep their identity hidden. In other words, both of their options were severely limited.
“Look. I really don’t, like, have a single clue what you’re talking about, but it’s cold out. I wanna finish this quick.” Karuizawa rubbed her arms, as if she had a chance of pretending she didn’t know what was going on. She was a poor actress.
“In that case, why come here? You should’ve just ignored me.”
“Well, that’s…because I didn’t want any lies spreading around.”
She was trying her hardest to appear calm, but I easily called her bluff. “Lies, huh? Everyone here knows the truth… that you were bullied before you started high school.”
“Ah…” When confronted with that, her behavior changed.
“It was a stroke of luck that Manabe and her friends found out. If you want to blame anyone, blame yourself for not handling them better.”
“What do you want? What do you gain by threatening me?”
“What would you do if I told you I’m just killing time?” Though I still had plenty of leverage, Karuizawa was already out of options.
“If you do anything to me…I-I’ll tell the school,” she stammered.
“You came here alone because you know you can’t do that.”
“Aren’t you getting carried away, Ryuuen? She might still have something up her sleeve,” Ibuki said. She still seemed to suspect something was up, since Karuizawa had come to the rooftop alone.
“Karuizawa’s powerless to do anything but rely on X. No need to be so cautious. Even if she records this conversation, it’s not like she can do anything with it. Having her past exposed is her greatest fear. As long as we hold that card, she’s at our mercy.”
“But—”
“Enough. Shut up.”
I already knew what Ibuki wanted to say. She was going to say that Manabe and her friends had been threatened with evidence of them bullying Karuizawa. They’d been forced to lay off her, made to promise they wouldn’t speak a word of it to anyone, and then strongarmed into digging their own graves by giving away information about Class C.
Ibuki was anxious that evidence of what we were doing up here might be used to blackmail us the same way, but that wasn’t going to happen. I would make sure of it.
Karuizawa’s past was our weapon. As long as I made good use of that weapon, we had nothing to fear. Anyone trying to drive us into a corner would be doing the same to Karuizawa. And the danger there went both ways, of course. It was a double-edged sword.
I had to use the information at my disposal to cause enough disruption to be effective, but if I went ahead and entirely exposed Karuizawa’s past to the school, I’d have nothing left to threaten her with. I’d crush Karuizawa, but X would get away. I had to find the person hiding behind Karuizawa. I had to learn X’s true identity here and now, and to do that, I needed to gauge the strength of the connection between Karuizawa and X.
“Let’s stop going in circles. You want me to let you off, right? Tell me the identity of the person hiding behind you. If you do, I’ll keep quiet about your past,” I told her.
“I don’t, like, get what you mean.” Karuizawa looked upset. She’d known that I was looking for the Class D mastermind, but until now, probably hadn’t realized that we’d figured out her connection to them.
“X saved you from Manabe and her friends, right?”
“H-huh? You’re wrong.”
“It’s pointless to hide. I’ve got evidence.”
“Evidence?”
It seemed X had kept more details from Karuizawa than I’d thought. I would slowly and methodically exert more pressure on her until her back was up against the wall.
“How do you think X protected you from them?”
“I have no idea. Besides, they weren’t bullying me. Even if you say this stuff about X, or whatever—”
“Okay, okay. I get it. If you’re not going to fess up, I’ll just tell you.” Looked like she wasn’t going to spill the beans unless she had the facts laid out for her. “X threatened to expose Manabe and her friends for bullying you if they didn’t do as they said. That’s how they got them to keep their mouths shut.”
Karuizawa didn’t answer. All she did was glare at me.
“Heh heh. I see… So, you did know how X kept Manabe and her friends quiet, then.”
“I-I didn’t say anything.”
“No, you didn’t. But your eyes told me the truth quite well on their own.”
I continued speaking.
“If that was all X did, I wouldn’t care. But that wasn’t enough for them. You see, X forced Manabe and her friends to betray me during the sports festival, too. They made them be their spies and leak information to them by threatening to expose the fact that they’d been bullying you.”
“What are you talking about? Seriously, I have no clue—”
“Your eyes are shifty, aren’t they? Seems like this is the first time you heard about the sports festival.”
There’s no way, I thought. Perhaps Karuizawa actually didn’t know who X was? If X always contacted her with an anonymous email address, then…
No. I didn’t think Karuizawa would follow orders from someone she couldn’t see and didn’t know. If she really had no idea who they were, why not just admit she’d worked with them to an extent but knew nothing more? If she was denying that she knew anything, there had to be a reason for it.
“All I want is X’s name. The name of the person who’s been attacking me. I honestly couldn’t care less about your past. Wouldn’t it be wisest to comply?”
“No matter how many times you ask, my answer’s the same. I don’t know anything. Seriously, it’s cold out here…” She was wearing extremely thin clothing. Perhaps she hadn’t intended on being out here very long.
“Yeah, it sure is cold, isn’t it? Don’t you want to finish our little chat quickly and head back inside?”
“I have nothing to say.”
“I see. If you insist on covering for X, then I have no choice. You’re okay with me exposing your entire past?”
“I…”
Karuizawa was truly up a creek without a paddle. No matter what I did to attack her, she’d have no choice to keep her mouth shut. Whatever she chose, she’d be making an enemy. She could think about it all she wanted, but all that would do was waste time.
“There’s no point fighting me,” I said. “You can’t brainstorm your way out of this situation. You know your options are limited. If you want to save yourself, you know the correct choice is to tell me their name.”
“I-If there really is someone hiding in the shadows like that, you have no way of knowing whether the name I give you is actually the person you’re looking for, right?” asked Karuizawa.
Ishizaki, perhaps because he was also hung up on that point, cut into our conversation without permission. “Ryuuen-san, she’s right. We have no way to know if she’s telling us the truth.”
The idiot was just giving Karuizawa an escape route. I shot Ishizaki a look to tell him to be quiet. Realizing his mistake, he shut his mouth.
“If I find out you lied to me, I’ll expose you later,” I told Karuizawa.
“That—”
“The only way you can save yourself is to tell me everything you know.” I laughed at her, but Karuizawa just looked at me sideways and countered my words.
“I’m not that stupid,” she shot back. “It doesn’t matter if I tell you the truth now, or lie. Either way, you’ll just try to use this against me again down the line. Sorry, I’m not going to be a pawn you can use whenever you want.”
“Heh. Yes, I suppose you’re right. There’s no guarantee I won’t keep using this against you, like X used Manabe and her friends. Even so, what choice do you have?”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that there’s someone hiding behind me. I’m not going to just blurt out a name to you, either. In other words, I have no answer for you.”
Apparently, Karuizawa had determined that silence was the only correct answer. It wasn’t a bad option, but I could hardly say it was the best one.
“And if I expose you as a result?” I said.
“You think that someone’s controlling Class D from the shadows, but you wouldn’t have contacted me unless you’d failed to discover their identity so far. In which case, I’m the only lead you have, and you can’t afford to throw me away.”
“I see. So, if I expose your past before I get anything out of you, I’m screwed, eh? You won’t tell me anything, and my hunt for X’s identity will be delayed even further,” I reasoned.
Karuizawa averted her eyes, as if to say, “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant.”
“Honestly, I don’t really care if I don’t learn X’s identity from your lips. I’m happy to take my time figuring out who they are. You think that I won’t have plenty of opportunities to catch X in the future?” I asked.
“That’s assuming X comes at you again. If they notice that you’re trying to figure out their identity, won’t they be extra careful from now on?” she replied.
She was smarter than I thought. A clever, sharp-tongued woman. If X’s mind really worked the same way mine did, they’d probably chosen her because they felt her social clout within Class D made her a valuable tool. X had no qualms about using people, which meant they probably had no qualms about abandoning her, either.
There was no doubt X was moving to advance Class D’s prospects. What I couldn’t rule out, however, was the possibility that if forced to choose, X would prioritize keeping their identity hidden over advancing Class D. If I went ahead and exposed Karuizawa, I might never find out who they were. That would really spoil my fun, huh?
“You really came up with some good self-defense measures, huh? All on your own, too?” I asked Karuizawa. I was guessing she’d racked her brains to get here. It was possible X had fed her some ideas… but the chances of that seemed slim.
“Get the picture? Don’t you think the best option would be to just quietly let me go?” she shot back in return.
I checked my phone. No texts from anyone. Had my attempt to contact X gone south?
Well, it wasn’t like I hadn’t known it wouldn’t be easy to pin X down. I decided it was time to take things to the next level.
“Look, all you need to do is tell me who X is,” I told Karuizawa. “If you know, I’m going to extract it from you one way or another.”
This is your fault, X. This is the result of you trying to have your cake and eat it too; both saving Karuizawa and hiding your identity.
“If your threats don’t work, how do you intend to make me talk?” she asked.
“That’s obvious, isn’t it? Torture is a time-honored tradition.”
“Ryuuen-san, are you serious?”
“Ibuki, hold Karuizawa down.”
“Why me? You can do it yourself, can’t you?” Ibuki didn’t seem very willing to join in.
“Do it,” I commanded.
“I won’t be complicit in this. It’s too risky,” said Ibuki.
“Pathetic. You’re wimping out after failing me so many times in a row?” I grabbed the rebellious Ibuki’s arm and pulled her close. “This is how you earn back my trust. I’ll take responsibility for what happens here. Don’t hold back.”
“Tch…” Ibuki clicked her tongue, but approached Karuizawa.
“Wh-what?” Karuizawa squeaked.
“Look, I’ve got problems of my own. Sorry,” said Ibuki. She moved behind Karuizawa and grabbed her hands.
“Ow!” shrieked Karuizawa.
Despite Ibuki’s initial reluctance, she held Karuizawa easily in place. There was nothing Karuizawa could do against someone with martial arts training.
“Ishizaki, go fill some buckets with water. Let’s start with two. There are two cleaning buckets in the men’s bathroom one floor below. No one should be using it right now.”
“Huh? Water? What for?”
“Are you going to defy me, too?”
“N-no. I’ll get them!” Ishizaki panicked and ran past Ibuki, looking as if he was about to trip over his own feet.
“Now, let’s enjoy a nice little chat until Ishizaki returns,” I said.
“No! Let me go!”
Karuizawa thrashed desperately, but couldn’t break free of Ibuki’s grip. She probably guessed what was going to happen, which was precisely why I was having Ibuki restrain her in the first place—not to prevent her from escaping, but to amplify her fear of what was to come.
“If you lay one finger on me, I’ll tell everyone!” Karuizawa shouted.

“Heh heh. It was pretty cocky of you to show up here. Did you think X would protect you this time, too?” I asked.
No matter how many times I asked her, the answer was the same. She stubbornly refused to admit whether this X person really existed.
“I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess X, Class D’s hidden puppet master, promised to protect you from things like this. Right?” I asked.
Karuizawa’s eyes darted around. She might have thought she was hiding her thoughts, but they were plain for all to see.
“If not, this doesn’t add up. If your past became known, your headstrong, bossy attitude would work to turn people against you, even girls from other classes. Manabe and her friends wouldn’t be the only ones targeting you,” I said.
Ibuki took her eyes off Karuizawa and looked over at me.
“You must spend every day racked with fear that they’ll all learn the truth. But you managed to get this far without your secret getting out. Why? There’s only one possible explanation. It’s because of the person who saved you and supported you.”
“And you think that person’s X?” asked Ibuki.
“For now. But that’s only been the case recently, right?” I asked Karuizawa. “X only learned the truth about your past after your spat with Manabe and her friends. You made Hirata pretend to be your boyfriend to protect yourself, didn’t you?”
Karuizawa’s pupils dilated. “Y-you’re wrong…”
“But I’m not, am I? Don’t lie to me, Karuizawa.” I peered deep into her eyes, as if I could see all the way to the darkness buried within. X must’ve done the same.
“Ah…?!” She was really panicking now. It was cute.
“How could you know that, Ryuuen?” Ibuki sounded shocked, too.
“Chalk it up to experience. I’ve dealt with tons of rotten people in my life,” I told them.
“Ugh…oof. S-sorry to have kept you waiting.” Ishizaki returned, carrying two buckets almost completely full of water. Their contents splashed violently.
Ibuki barraged me with questions again on seeing the buckets. “You said that there were two buckets. How did you know? Did you investigate this all beforehand”?
“Do you know how many surveillance cameras this school has? I bet you don’t even know that much.”
“Huh? Of course not.”
“You won’t know if you don’t investigate. But if you do your research, you’ll begin to comprehend everything that you see around us,” I told them.
Every day, little by little, I’d scoped out all the locations where surveillance cameras were installed throughout the school. As a result, I’d also learned about the buckets stored in that particular bathroom for cleaning purposes.
“One of the experiments I used to ascertain all this was the time I had Ishizaki and the other guys attack Sudou,” I said. “Because they’re idiots, it seems there was a witness from Class D there at the time.”
As a result of the witness’s presence, Ishizaki and the others had been tricked into confessing by a fake surveillance camera. Ishizaki wore a look of shame on his face as I mentioned the incident. If not for the witness, C Class could have gained quite a bit that time.
“I told you before, Ishizaki, didn’t I? Never admit any wrongdoing.”
“Y-Yes… I was j-just, well, that just shook me a bit…” he stammered.
“The school might appear to strictly enforce a code of behavior, but that’s not entirely true. There are loopholes that allow the use of forceful methods, if you play your cards right,” I continued. There were clues scattered all through our normal, everyday lives to hint at that. “I’m sure you guys don’t get it, but the cleverest members of the student body are the ones constantly testing the boundaries of what the school allows.”
The very first thing I’d done after enrolling at this mysterious school was look for its “rules,” and how to beat them. The second thing I’d done was something vital to understanding the system: test the importance of private points.
“For instance,” I said, “have you ever noticed one particular thing that’s strange about all these tests? The uninhabited island test, the cruise ship test, the Paper Shuffle—whatever the test, you’d think the senior students would be able to give us some advice, wouldn’t you? But if you try and ask them, not a single one will give you a satisfactory answer. Why do you think that is?”
“…Maybe the exams are conducted differently each year? Like, it’s possible the rules are different.”
“Yeah. I don’t think the exams are exactly the same each year. Strictly speaking, though, it’s probably more accurate to say the rules for every grade level are different.”
“What do you mean, Ryuuen-san?”
If you could clear exams by with from senior students, then they’d hardly be exams at all. Everything would just turn into stupid competitions to see who could butter up the seniors more. There had to be rules put in place to prevent that from happening.
“What if there was a supplementary rule that stated ‘any second- or third-year students will be expelled immediately if they leak exam contents’?” I asked.
“That’s… They would never talk.”
“That’s right. Even if a freshman asked them, they wouldn’t say a word. No way would people who fought to avoid expulsion for a whole year risk getting expelled over making a careless comment. In fact, I tried and utterly failed to negotiate in second-year Class-D students by offering them private points. Proof that talking carries considerable risk.”
“But… Well, I suppose you might be right. Komiya and Kondou said something like that a while ago, too. They said they tried to ask some upperclassmen for hints and got nothing. If anything, it kind of felt like they weren’t even allowed to ask.”
Which was precisely what gave rise to the feeling that it had been forbidden for generations. It was very likely the actual rules were more detailed, but we’d learn them eventually.
“I’ve always tried to push the boundaries between what’s acceptable and what’s considered a violation of school rules,” I explained. Researching the surveillance cameras, bribing the senior students, and making the back-alley deal with Class A were all part of my experiments to ascertain what I could and couldn’t do. “What we’re about to do to Karuizawa is one such experiment, too.”
Karuizawa started to shiver in the cold.
“Trauma can be awakened more strongly through the senses than through words,” I added.
Based to what Manabe and her friends had told me, the fierce Karuizawa would quickly buckle when subjected to this.
I signaled Ishizaki with one glance. Ibuki pushed Karuizawa forward and then stepped away. In accordance with my orders, Ishizaki dumped a bucket of water on Karuizawa’s head.
“Ah!”
Being doused outdoors, in the middle of winter, would chill anyone to the bone. Karuizawa collapsed, shivering, and hugged herself tight. Her bravado was gone, washed away by just one bucket of water.
“Do you remember the baptism you received at your previous school?” I asked.
“N-no!” She covered her ears and sat there, her whole body trembling, as if she were a little girl afraid of ghosts.
“Come on, we’re just getting started.” I took out my phone and began recording. I pushed Karuizawa’s wet bangs from her eyes, watching her spirit begin to break. She was probably flashing back to being bullied right now. “If you won’t talk, then I’ll circulate this video throughout the school.”
That was a lie, but Karuizawa was no longer in any state to tell.
“Come on, scream. Beg me to have mercy.”
“N-no!”
The deeper the scars, the more they hurt when you uncovered them.
“I can’t watch this. I knew I shouldn’t have helped you,” said Ibuki, averting her eyes.
“Bullying the weak is pretty fun though, right? It really gets you going.”
I thought back to a particular occasion when some people had attacked me, long ago. There was one guy who started out all cocky, but then wound up bawling like a baby when I turned the tables on him.
Karuizawa’s case was a little different.
“Even though you were so persistently bullied, you stood tall in D Class. I’m impressed,” I told her. “That’s not easily achieved. In a way, you might be a girl with the spirit to stand up to me.”
Despite being so weak, she’d held her head high. She’d created a new identity for herself, then maintained that position by using Hirata and through X’s protection.
But bullying makes people servile. Once experienced, the trauma is easily reawakened. That’s just the way it is.
I crouched beside Karuizawa’s trembling form and continued to mock her. “Here’s the thing about human nature. People don’t change. You were designed to be bullied, not to bully. Remember that.”
I picked up the other bucket and dumped the water over Karuizawa.
“…!” Letting out a silent scream, she curled into a ball, shrinking in fear.
“Ishizaki. Get more.”
“Y-yes.” Ishizaki picked up the two empty buckets and headed downstairs.
“Who’s protecting you and keeping Manabe and her friends quiet?” I demanded.
“There’s…no one… No one, no one, no one!” Karuizawa screamed. She shook her head fervently.
“Heh. Still trying to hide it? I guess you do have spirit. Or maybe it’s just that you’re so used to being bullied? Maybe this doesn’t even qualify as bullying for you.” I grabbed Karuizawa’s arm and yanked her to her feet.
“I can’t watch this,” Ibuki said again.
“This is where the fun begins,” I said.
“You’re evil. This is disgusting.” But Ibuki didn’t leave. She leaned up against the door instead. “I’ll leave after you get a name out of her,” she said.
“Fine by me.”
I wasn’t doing this to entertain Ibuki. I was breaking Karuizawa for my own pleasure.
5.3
 
I WAS FREEZING. Icy water dripped from my hair. They’d dumped water over me four times now. My uniform was soaked right through; even my underwear was wet. But what scared me wasn’t the way my body violently trembling from the cold. What scared me was the ice in my heart.
I was facing down a deep darkness, so intense and bitter that it made me hate the entire world.
Why am I being bullied? Slowly, my feelings changed to, Why am I alive? What did I do wrong?
I started blaming myself. My heart was frozen and my body was being devoured. The deep scars etched into my being started to throb again, like they were hot.
“Come on. That’s enough, Karuizawa. Make things easier on yourself. There’s no need to suffer any further,” Ryuuen sneered.
That was a dead end, though. If I told him about Kiyotaka, it might reprieve me temporarily, but there was no guarantee that Ryuuen wouldn’t try to blackmail me again. He might even command me to betray Class D. Like the tragic finales you saw on television, misery was all that awaited people who continued to betray others.
I would hold on to hope until the very end. I’d believe in Kiyotaka’s words, and his promise that he’d protect me. That was my final defense against my heart being swallowed up by the darkness.
“I know what you’re thinking. If you give up X, you’ll lose their protection. All hope will be lost,” said Ryuuen.
My teeth loudly chattered from the cold, making my terror audible to all. I struggled desperately to stop, but my mind had already abandoned me. Repulsive memories thrashed around in my brain. The past and present overlapped.

“Do you want to die holding onto hope? Are you okay with going back to the way things were?” Ryuuen’s vicious words cut me. “X can’t save you. I can, if you give me their name.”
I was scared.
“If you won’t cooperate, though, I have no choice but to destroy you.”
Save me.
“I’m going to list everything there is to know about you, everything you pretend to be, and circulate it to the whole school.”
I’m scared.
“When that happens, will you be able to keep your position in your class? Will you still be a leader?”
Save me.
“No. You’ll just go back to being what you were before. You’ll be back to the real you, that pathetic girl who was always bullied.”
The cruel memories of the bullying I’d endured long ago continued to play in my head on loop. I never wanted to return to that dark, miserable world where all I could think about was how much I wanted to die.
“No, no, no no no! No no no no!”
“Then make things easier. Protect yourself.”
“Please, forgive me! Please, forgive me!”
My pride had already shattered. No, that wasn’t true. It’d shattered before, and I’d clumsily pieced it back together with tape. The Karuizawa Kei who made a new life for herself was dying. I could feel my second chance at a happy school life crumbling into dust.
“I’m not merciful like Manabe and her friends,” said Ryuuen. “We know your secret. Even if you get me expelled, it’s not just me who knows. I’ll spread rumors of your past. Your own classmates will smell blood in the water and turn on you!”
“No, no, no…”
“Then remember. Remember how painful it’ll be to go back to how you used to be.”
Even though I hated it, I remembered.
For a moment, my mind went completely blank. All I saw was endless white. And then immediately after, there was darkness.
Despite myself, I remembered. I remembered junior high and the hell I’d created for myself over the most trivial of things. I was stubborn, headstrong, and right after starting school, I made enemies of the other girls for no reason. What followed was a completely nightmare.
Writing hateful graffiti on my textbooks and throwing my notebooks away? That was just cute. They dumped water on me while I used the bathroom. More than once. It even became a routine. They punched and kicked me. They recorded me getting beaten up and circulated the videos. They put thumbtacks in my shoes and dead animals in my desk.
I remembered all of it.
They pulled my skirt down in front of our classmates. They hid my underwear and uniform after swimming class. They made me confess romantic feelings to boys I didn’t actually like. They made me lick their shoes. They even made me pick garbage off the ground and eat it.
I remembered experiencing one humiliation after another.
Yes, that was right.
I remembered.
In times like these, the defense people have is to just accept whatever happens. After a while, I learned to do that. To accept reality. Accept that Ryuuen and his follower were bullying me again. It would be easier if I just accepted it.
Was I really going back to those days? If that happened, I knew my heart couldn’t take it. I couldn’t endure it if the girls who were now kind to me, who were my friends, started to change.
My old school had abandoned me. The only good thing it ever did for me was tell me about this school. They threw me a lifeline by letting me go someplace where no one knew me. If no one knew me, then I—
I looked up at the sky as tears ran down my face.
Why do I have to suffer like this?
No. I didn’t want this.
That feeling began to grow within me.
I didn’t want to go back.
Ryuuen said he just wanted to find the person he was looking for. In other words, if I gave him Kiyotaka’s name, I’d be free. But there was no guarantee he wouldn’t reveal my past anyway. It might be public knowledge come tomorrow. If that happened, I wouldn’t just lose Kiyotaka’s trust, but all my friends.
But—
It was still possible. I might be saved. If I just gave him Kiyotaka’s name, it was possible this cruel, painful torture would come to an end.
I’ll save you.
Kiyotaka had promised me that, but he wasn’t here. Even if I kept faith in him, that didn’t change my current situation. Didn’t he see the message I sent him? I’d also looked at him, begged him quietly. Our eyes had met. He definitely saw me.
He told me he’d protect me. Had I just imagined it? Had I been a fool to believe him? I didn’t know anymore. There was no way I could be sure, anymore. Our relationship was far too shallow. He cut me off with no guarantee he’d keep Manabe and her friends at bay. He quoted selfish reasons like how it was no longer necessary for him to manipulate the class further.
I was just an afterthought. Had I been betrayed? Had he abandoned me?
“Do you see anyone coming, Albert? I see.” Ryuuen sighed quietly, standing in front of me, “I assume you’re holding on to the hope that someone’s coming to save you. But it doesn’t look like it.”
Ah. So, I’d been abandoned after all. Well, what was I supposed to do, now if not believe? Kiyotaka had told me he’d save me. And the truth of the matter was that he did protect me from Manabe and her friends.
“It seems like you trust X quite a bit, Karuizawa.” Ryuuen sighed in exasperation. “You were tricked.”
“No, that’s wrong.”
“I’m not wrong. I’ll tell you the truth about the cruise ship test. The truth X never told you.”
“The tr-truth?”
Ryuuen’s smile disappeared.
“Manabe wanted to get back at you for being mean to her friend, Morofuji, but she couldn’t find a good opportunity to do it. I mean, even if she tried to summon you somewhere secluded, it wasn’t like you’d show up. But then, for some reason, you went down to the lowest floor alone. Why?”
“That was—” Because Yousuke-kun had asked me to. Back then, I’d been emotionally unstable. I’d had no choice but to rely on Yousuke-kun, the host I attached myself to like a parasite. That was why I went.
Then Manabe and her friends showed up…
“Do you really think that was a coincidence?”
Once again, Ryuuen saw right through me.
“Manabe and her friends couldn’t follow you around all the time, especially not on such a big ship. Them showing up wasn’t coincidental, but an inevitability.”
So Yousuke-kun had tricked me?
No…
That couldn’t be.
I knew right away that that wasn’t it.
“You know it already, don’t you? X secretly contacted Manabe and then set you up. They tricked Manabe by claiming they hated you too, and would help her get you. You were an idiot for taking the bait so easily.”
I did remember how strange it’d seemed. Yousuke-kun asked me to meet him there, but in the end, he never showed. I understood now that Kiyotaka had instructed Yousuke-kun to get me there alone.
“X set you up. They intentionally let Manabe bully you so they could record it to use against her. Unjust of them, don’t you think?”
I wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But what Ryuuen was saying… I couldn’t easily deny it. So, Kiyotaka showing to save me wasn’t coincidence, either?
“You weren’t saved. You were trapped. Pretty stupid, huh?”
I’d been…tricked?
“Look around you. Is X here right now? Is X saving you?”
Kiyotaka…had been deceiving me from the very start?
“It’s safe to assume that X cut all ties with you when their identity was about to be exposed,” Ryuuen said.
No, that wasn’t…
That couldn’t be…
I…can’t be saved. Even though I’m suffering so much…
I’d been caught in Kiyotaka’s trap. He let me think he might save me. He even made me help him with so much stuff. But at the crucial moment, when I needed him, he abandoned me.
“You finally get it, yeah? That’s right. You’ve just been bullied all over again.”
I was completely shrouded in dark. I couldn’t escape this never-ending vicious circle of bullying.
“Well, there’s still one way for you to save yourself,” said Ryuuen.
A name.
Kiyotaka’s name.
“That’s right. It’ll all be over.” Ryuuen laughed again, as if reading my mind. “If you give me the name, I promise never to bother you again.”
If I give Ryuuen his name, will this be over…?
All I had to say was “Ayanokouji Kiyotaka.” I didn’t know if I could believe Ryuuen. But if he heard the words emerging from the bottom of my heart, I was sure he’d understand. It was the only thing I was sure of right now.
Against my will, my trembling lips began to part. Despair and anger at being betrayed rose up to fill my heart. But no sound came out. It was too cold to speak.
“Just take it slow. Give me the name.”
“K…” I was trembling all over, shaking with fear, but finally got one sound out.
“K…?” Ryuuen repeated the noise back to me.
“K…t…” Slowly, very slowly, I managed to squeeze more sounds out of my throat. This was it. If I did this, I’d be free.
“One more time.” Ryuuen put his face closer to mine.
“K-knock…it…off. No matter how many times…”
The words were coming out now, but they weren’t those words. I’d never had any intention of telling him.
Because I…wouldn’t…
“No matter how many times you ask me…I’ll never, ever tell you…creep.”
At that, Ryuuen’s smile vanished. It felt like a single ray of light pierced the cloudy sky. My words hadn’t changed at all, but with those words, I’d made my choice.
“Even if I lose everything I built at this school starting tomorrow… No matter how much you put me through…” These weren’t Ryuuen’s words or Kiyotaka’s. They were mine. And they were something I could believe in, no matter what. “I’ll never give you the name.”
Warmth flooded my chest.
“Are you certain, Karuizawa?”
Yes.
I’m okay with this.
I might come to regret it.
But, I’m okay with it…!
“Even though X was just using you, why you’re still protecting him?”
I wanted to ask myself the same question.
“I don’t know why.” But there was one thing I did know. “I want to stand tall until the very end!”
My vision, which had grown hazy, suddenly sharpened once more.
“I see. That’s too bad, Karuizawa. I don’t want to do this, but you’ve left me no choice. Still, you have my respect. Despite all your trauma, and the one person you could rely on betraying you, you didn’t sell him out. I honestly admire you.”
This is fine.
This is fine.
I kept telling myself that. I was going to be broken, now, but somehow, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. Even though he’d betrayed me, I hadn’t betrayed him. I’d protected him. If I could somehow help him find the peace he sought, that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? It even made me pretty cool. Right?
My life had never been very interesting, except when I worked with Kiyotaka. Helping him out with all his different schemes wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was exciting. I had fun. I felt like I was playing the role of supporting actress, aiding the hero from the wings. I didn’t understand a lot of what we were doing, but somehow, it was extraordinarily fun.
Besides, no matter what happened, the truth was that he’d saved me. That was why I had no regrets.
But, well…deep down, I still hoped he’d come and save me. Those fleeting feelings within me were…real, I guess. Ah, I was such an idiot. I’d only ever been dancing in the palm of his hand. Guess you reap what you sow, huh?
First Yousuke-kun, then Kiyotaka, had protected me. I was a girl who couldn’t do anything on her own.
Somehow, underneath the cold winter sky, I felt glad.
Goodbye, fake me.
Welcome home to the cold, empty Karuizawa of the past.

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Classroom of the Elite Vol.7 Chap 5 OLD vs. NEW @keyframes loading-circle-spin { 100% { transform: rotate(360deg); } }

Classroom of the Elite Vol.7 Chap 5 OLD vs. NEW