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Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout - S01E01 - CR vs Chihiro

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Chihiro

Jinguuji: S-Sorry.

Tachibana: No... I'm the one who should apologize.

Tachibana: No, I'm the one who should apologize.

Jinguuji: Don't be fooled by appearances.

Jinguuji: This appearance is a trap!

Jinguuji: Inside, that's an old guy \Nwho's over thirty.

Jinguuji: That's really an old guy in his 30s.

Jinguuji: If we just interact normally, it'll be fine.

Jinguuji: I should just act normal with him.

Tachibana: Stay calm. Just stay calm.

Tachibana: Stay calm, me.

Tachibana: My body may have become female, \Nbut I'm a man who's into women.

Tachibana: While my body is a girl's, I'm a straight man.

Jinguuji: I do not ever want to be in a \Nromantic relationship with this guy!

Jinguuji: I do not ever want to be in a romantic relationship with this guy!

Tachibana: I could never fall in love with a guy!

narrator: This story is...

narrator: Well, you may have already \Nguessed from their reactions.

narrator: Well, their reactions make it obvious.

narrator: It's a romantic comedy between an old guy \Nand someone who used to be an old guy.

narrator: It's a romantic comedy between an old guy and a former old guy.

Tachibana: Oh, man...

# : OP SHIFT

Tachibana: There's so many cute girls, \Nit's got me nervous.

Tachibana: Oh, man.

Tachibana: Flight attendants really \Nare on a different level!

Tachibana: I'm so nervous. There are so many cute girls here.

Jinguuji: Are they?

Tachibana: Flight attendants really are on a different level!

Jinguuji: Really?

Tachibana: Huh?

Jinguuji: I don't find them interesting at all.

Jinguuji: I’m not really interested.

Jinguuji: I'm more interested in the \Nfish tank. Did you see it?

Jinguuji: I'm more interested in the fish tank. Did you see it?

Jinguuji: Fish are wonderful. I get really excited.

Tachibana: Why did you come to this mixer anyway?

Jinguuji: Caring even a little about your \Nappearance makes you attractive.

Jinguuji: You're too taken in by appearances.

Tachibana: Ugh...

Tachibana: Ugh.

Jinguuji: Get to know the women first, so that \Nyou're not deceived by a stranger.

Jinguuji: Get to know the women first. It's dangerous out there.

Tachibana: Are you my mom or something?

narrator: These two childhood friends have known\N each other since elementary school,

narrator: These two have known each other since elementary school,

narrator: but they are not alike at all.

narrator: Jinguuji Tsukasa.

narrator: He's tall with handsome features.

narrator: No matter what he does, he does it well.

narrator: He excels in both athletics and academics,\N and is clever and confident.

narrator: His athletics, academics, and confidence level are top-class.

narrator: And because of that...

narrator: Because of that,

narrator: he's been incredibly popular \Never since his school days.

narrator: he's been incredibly popular ever since his school days.

narrator: Women have fallen for him continuously \Nfor the last 20 years now.

narrator: Women have been flocking to him for the last 20 years.

narrator: He's never been particularly \Ninterested in women...

narrator: He's never been particularly interested in women.

narrator: But as their dark sides have stood \Nout to him more than anything else,

narrator: But their dark side stood out to him

narrator: he's developed a complete distrust of women.

narrator: so he's developed a complete distrust of women.

narrator: And that is why...

narrator: That is why...

Jinguuji: I will only allow you to date \Na woman I've approved of.

Jinguuji: I will only allow you to date a woman I've approved of.

Jinguuji: Though I doubt that such a woman exists.

narrator: That's the excuse he gives, but...

Jinguuji: I really do feel more comfortable around men.

Jinguuji: I just feel more comfortable around men.

Jinguuji: The oasis of my heart is, and \Nwill always be, you alone.

Jinguuji: The oasis of my heart is, and will always be, you alone.

narrator: He really just doesn't want a woman \Nto take his best friend from him.

narrator: He really just doesn't want a woman to take his best friend from him.

Tachibana: If you don't see a girl you like, \NI wish you'd at least not get in my way.

Tachibana: If you don't see a girl you like, then please don't get in my way.

Jinguuji: Then why do you always invite me?

Jinguuji: It's because you know \Nthis will happen, right?

Jinguuji: You know this will happen, right?

Tachibana: I-I get nervous coming to these mixers alone.

Jinguuji: You feel lonesome so easily.

Jinguuji: You feel lonely so easily.

Jinguuji: Why don't you have a little \Nmore confidence in yourself?

Jinguuji: You should be more confident in yourself.

Tachibana: Confidence, huh?

Tachibana: That's impossible with you around!

narrator: Tachibana Hinata.

narrator: Height, weight, etc. all average.

narrator: Neither good nor bad at anything.

narrator: This man walks a finely balanced line.

Tachibana; background: Oh! Um, excuse me!

narrator: Every woman he has ever fallen \Nfor has been taken by Jinguuji.

narrator: Every woman he has ever fallen for has been taken by Jinguuji.

Tachibana: I never imagined it would continue \Neven after we left school!

Tachibana: I never imagined it would continue even after we left school!

Tachibana: As long as I'm with him, \NI'll never get a girlfriend! Ever!

Tachibana: As long as I'm with him, I'll never get a girlfriend! Ever!

narrator: The reason he brought Jinguuji to mixers was \Nto get him married off as quickly as possible.

narrator: He brings Jinguuji to mixers hoping to get him married off as quickly as possible.

Tachibana: But why does this guy have \Nso little interest in women?

Tachibana: But why does this guy have so little interest in women?

Tachibana: We're already 32, you know?

Tachibana: Could it be that he's in love with me?

narrator: This situation appears very complicated.

Tachibana: I want to be a woman.

Tachibana: If I'm always going to feel this small and \Nmiserable, I'd rather just become a woman.

Tachibana: If I'd always feel this small and miserable, I'd rather just become a woman.

Tachibana: I want to be a girl so beautiful \Nthat I couldn't possibly exist

Tachibana: If I were a girl so fantastically beautiful

: in this world, and have everyone fawn over me.

Tachibana: then everyone would worship me.

Jinguuji: You drank too much, idiot.

Tachibana: If possible, I'd want to look childlike, \Nbut still be sharp.

Tachibana: If that happened, I'd want to look childlike, but still be sharp.

Tachibana: A short loli-type with soft blonde hair... \NThat would be great!

Tachibana: A short loli-type with soft blonde hair.

Jinguuji: Saying things like that is why \Nyou can't get a woman.

Jinguuji: That is why you can't get a woman.

Tachibana: Oh, shut up! Even I would do fine if\NI didn't have someone like you close by!

Tachibana: Oh, shut up! Even I would do fine if I didn't have someone like you close by!

Jinguuji: I'm tired of hearing that.

Tachibana: Out of curiosity...

Tachibana: Out of curiosity,

Tachibana: What kind of girl would you like?

Tachibana: what kind of girl is your type?

Jinguuji: I've never given it any thought.

Jinguuji: I've never thought about it.

Jinguuji: Right now, all I'm thinking about \Nis seeing you back to your place.

Jinguuji: Right now, all I'm thinking about is seeing you back to your place.

Tachibana: Why? Why is it always you, Jinguuji?

Tachibana: You're really despicable, you know that?

Tachibana: You’re terrible, you know that?

Tachibana: You're popular and cool. It's no fair...

Tachibana: You're popular and cool. It's no fair.

Tachibana: Blast it. You moron...

Tachibana: Damn it. You moron.

Jinguuji: And the only one who'd spend time with \Nsomeone as despicable as me is you.

Jinguuji: And the only one who'd spend time with someone as despicable as me is you.

Jinguuji: Come on, wake up!

goddess: Say... Is it dead?

Jinguuji: Wha—?!

Jinguuji: A bizarre, half-naked, LED woman!

goddess: It's a halo! A halo!

goddess: You're a very rude human!

goddess: Alive then, is he?

goddess: Step aside, Four-Eyes.

goddess: If he lives, then I merely need to kill him.

Jinguuji: Tachibana!

Jinguuji: Where are you, Tachibana?

Jinguuji: You're safe. I'm so glad.

Jinguuji: Huh? Safe?

Jinguuji: Safe from what? I can't remember.

Jinguuji: Hey, wake up, Tachiba—

Jinguuji: What?!

Jinguuji: Your body's melted!

Jinguuji: What is this? It's disgusting!

Tachibana: Oh, keep it down. You're making my head ring.

Tachibana: Is this a hangover?

Tachibana: My head hurts and I feel \Nlike my throat is weird...

Tachibana: My head hurts and my throat feels weird.

Tachibana: Where are we anyway, Jinguuji?

Jinguuji: Wh— Wh—

Tachibana: Huh?

Jinguuji: Who are you, you snake?!

Tachibana: Huh?

Jinguuji: What have you done with Tachibana?!

Tachibana: What? Did you hit your head or something?

Tachibana: Forgetting your best friend's \Nface is pretty harsh.

Tachibana: Forgetting your best friend's face is pretty harsh.

Jinguuji: I only have one best friend!\N And it isn't you!

Jinguuji: I only have one best friend! And it isn't you!

Tachibana: Huh? Whoa! She's cute!

Tachibana: Whoa! She's cute!

Tachibana: Who is that?

Tachibana: Who's that?

Jinguuji: You.

Tachibana: What?!

Tachibana: What is this? What's going on?

Tachibana: I've got stuff I shouldn't up top!

Tachibana: And I'm missing stuff\NI should have down below!

Tachibana: And I'm missing stuff I should have down below!

Tachibana: Why am I in the body of the \Nperfect woman I dreamed up?!

Tachibana: Why am I in the body of the perfect woman I dreamed up?!

Tachibana: Why are you barfing?!

Jinguuji: It's like Tachibana turned into a girl \Nand is talking to me. It's sickening.

Jinguuji: It's like Tachibana turned into a girl and is talking to me. It's sickening.

Tachibana: I have become a girl and I am talking to you!

goddess: Do you like it?

goddess: How do you like it?

goddess: How is it? What do you think of becoming \Nthe embodiment of your desires?

goddess: How does it feel to become the embodiment of your desires?

Tachibana: What's this? An exhibitionist \Nwoman has suddenly appeared.

Tachibana: There's an exhibitionist woman in front of us.

goddess: Both of you are really rude!

Jinguuji: Desires embodied?

Jinguuji: The embodiment of your desires?

Jinguuji: What do you mean?

goddess: When I summoned you here, \NI granted you your wish.

goddess: When I summoned you here, I granted your wish.

goddess: Welcome to another world, O brave heroes!

goddess: This world is on the brink of danger, and \Nthe only ones who can save it are heroes!

goddess: This world is on the brink of danger, and only the heroes can save it!

goddess: When you have magnificently \Ndefeated the Demon Lord,

goddess: When you have defeated the Demon Lord,

goddess: I shall grant you any wish you like!

Tachibana: Did you hear that, Jinguuji? \NApparently, we're heroes!

Tachibana: Did you hear that, Jinguuji? Apparently, we're heroes!

Jinguuji: Do not be fooled, Tachibana-like woman.

Jinguuji: This is bound to be some kind of scam.

Jinguuji: This is obviously some kind of scam.

Tachibana: You say some really crazy things.

Jinguuji: I get a very unpleasant feel from this woman.

Jinguuji: I have a very bad feeling about this woman.

Jinguuji: We shouldn't get involved with her.

goddess: His memories should have been erased.

goddess: His sharp intuition is a problem.

Jinguuji: And most importantly...

Jinguuji: And most importantly,

Jinguuji: turning you into a woman \Nwas probably her doing.

Jinguuji: turning you into a woman was probably her doing.

Jinguuji: She stole my oasis from me!

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CR
Jinguuji: S-Sorry.
Tachibana: No... I'm the one who should apologize.
Jinguuji: Don't be fooled by appearances.
Jinguuji: Inside, that's an old guy \Nwho's over thirty.
Jinguuji: If we just interact normally, it'll be fine.
Tachibana: Stay calm. Just stay calm.
Tachibana: My body may have become female, \Nbut I'm a man who's into women.
Jinguuji: I do not ever want to be in a \Nromantic relationship with this guy!
Tachibana: I could never fall in love with a guy!
narrator: This story is...
narrator: Well, you may have already \Nguessed from their reactions.
narrator: It's a romantic comedy between an old guy \Nand someone who used to be an old guy.
Tachibana: Oh, man...
Tachibana: There's so many cute girls, \Nit's got me nervous.
Tachibana: Flight attendants really \Nare on a different level!
Jinguuji: Are they?
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: I don't find them interesting at all.
Jinguuji: I'm more interested in the \Nfish tank. Did you see it?
Jinguuji: Fish are wonderful. I get really excited.
Tachibana: Why did you come to this mixer anyway?
Jinguuji: Caring even a little about your \Nappearance makes you attractive.
Tachibana: Ugh...
Jinguuji: Get to know the women first, so that \Nyou're not deceived by a stranger.
Tachibana: Are you my mom or something?
narrator: These two childhood friends have known\N each other since elementary school,
narrator: but they are not alike at all.
narrator: Jinguuji Tsukasa.
narrator: He's tall with handsome features.
narrator: No matter what he does, he does it well.
narrator: He excels in both athletics and academics,\N and is clever and confident.
narrator: And because of that...
narrator: he's been incredibly popular \Never since his school days.
narrator: Women have fallen for him continuously \Nfor the last 20 years now.
narrator: He's never been particularly \Ninterested in women...
narrator: But as their dark sides have stood \Nout to him more than anything else,
narrator: he's developed a complete distrust of women.
narrator: And that is why...
Jinguuji: I will only allow you to date \Na woman I've approved of.
Jinguuji: Though I doubt that such a woman exists.
narrator: That's the excuse he gives, but...
Jinguuji: I really do feel more comfortable around men.
Jinguuji: The oasis of my heart is, and \Nwill always be, you alone.
narrator: He really just doesn't want a woman \Nto take his best friend from him.
Tachibana: If you don't see a girl you like, \NI wish you'd at least not get in my way.
Jinguuji: Then why do you always invite me?
Jinguuji: It's because you know \Nthis will happen, right?
Tachibana: I-I get nervous coming to these mixers alone.
Jinguuji: You feel lonesome so easily.
Jinguuji: Why don't you have a little \Nmore confidence in yourself?
Tachibana: Confidence, huh?
Tachibana: That's impossible with you around!
narrator: Tachibana Hinata.
narrator: Height, weight, etc. all average.
narrator: Neither good nor bad at anything.
narrator: This man walks a finely balanced line.
Tachibana; background: Oh! Um, excuse me!
narrator: Every woman he has ever fallen \Nfor has been taken by Jinguuji.
Tachibana: I never imagined it would continue \Neven after we left school!
Tachibana: As long as I'm with him, \NI'll never get a girlfriend! Ever!
narrator: The reason he brought Jinguuji to mixers was \Nto get him married off as quickly as possible.
Tachibana: But why does this guy have \Nso little interest in women?
Tachibana: We're already 32, you know?
Tachibana: Could it be that he's in love with me?
narrator: This situation appears very complicated.
Tachibana: I want to be a woman.
Tachibana: If I'm always going to feel this small and \Nmiserable, I'd rather just become a woman.
Tachibana: I want to be a girl so beautiful \Nthat I couldn't possibly exist
: in this world, and have everyone fawn over me.
Jinguuji: You drank too much, idiot.
Tachibana: If possible, I'd want to look childlike, \Nbut still be sharp.
Tachibana: A short loli-type with soft blonde hair... \NThat would be great!
Jinguuji: Saying things like that is why \Nyou can't get a woman.
Tachibana: Oh, shut up! Even I would do fine if\NI didn't have someone like you close by!
Jinguuji: I'm tired of hearing that.
Tachibana: Out of curiosity...
Tachibana: What kind of girl would you like?
Jinguuji: I've never given it any thought.
Jinguuji: Right now, all I'm thinking about \Nis seeing you back to your place.
Tachibana: Why? Why is it always you, Jinguuji?
Tachibana: You're really despicable, you know that?
Tachibana: You're popular and cool. It's no fair...
Tachibana: Blast it. You moron...
Jinguuji: And the only one who'd spend time with \Nsomeone as despicable as me is you.
Jinguuji: Come on, wake up!
goddess: Say... Is it dead?
Jinguuji: Wha—?!
Jinguuji: A bizarre, half-naked, LED woman!
goddess: It's a halo! A halo!
goddess: You're a very rude human!
goddess: Alive then, is he?
goddess: Step aside, Four-Eyes.
goddess: If he lives, then I merely need to kill him.
Jinguuji: Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Where are you, Tachibana?
Jinguuji: You're safe. I'm so glad.
Jinguuji: Huh? Safe?
Jinguuji: Safe from what? I can't remember.
Jinguuji: Hey, wake up, Tachiba—
Jinguuji: What?!
Jinguuji: Your body's melted!
Jinguuji: What is this? It's disgusting!
Tachibana: Oh, keep it down. You're making my head ring.
Tachibana: Is this a hangover?
Tachibana: My head hurts and I feel \Nlike my throat is weird...
Tachibana: Where are we anyway, Jinguuji?
Jinguuji: Wh— Wh—
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: Who are you, you snake?!
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: What have you done with Tachibana?!
Tachibana: What? Did you hit your head or something?
Tachibana: Forgetting your best friend's \Nface is pretty harsh.
Jinguuji: I only have one best friend!\N And it isn't you!
Tachibana: Huh? Whoa! She's cute!
Tachibana: Who is that?
Jinguuji: You.
Tachibana: What?!
Tachibana: What is this? What's going on?
Tachibana: I've got stuff I shouldn't up top!
Tachibana: And I'm missing stuff\NI should have down below!
Tachibana: Why am I in the body of the \Nperfect woman I dreamed up?!
Tachibana: Why are you barfing?!
Jinguuji: It's like Tachibana turned into a girl \Nand is talking to me. It's sickening.
Tachibana: I have become a girl and I am talking to you!
goddess: Do you like it?
goddess: How is it? What do you think of becoming \Nthe embodiment of your desires?
Tachibana: What's this? An exhibitionist \Nwoman has suddenly appeared.
goddess: Both of you are really rude!
Jinguuji: Desires embodied?
Jinguuji: What do you mean?
goddess: When I summoned you here, \NI granted you your wish.
goddess: Welcome to another world, O brave heroes!
goddess: This world is on the brink of danger, and \Nthe only ones who can save it are heroes!
goddess: When you have magnificently \Ndefeated the Demon Lord,
goddess: I shall grant you any wish you like!
Tachibana: Did you hear that, Jinguuji? \NApparently, we're heroes!
Jinguuji: Do not be fooled, Tachibana-like woman.
Jinguuji: This is bound to be some kind of scam.
Tachibana: You say some really crazy things.
Jinguuji: I get a very unpleasant feel from this woman.
Jinguuji: We shouldn't get involved with her.
goddess: His memories should have been erased.
goddess: His sharp intuition is a problem.
Jinguuji: And most importantly...
Jinguuji: turning you into a woman \Nwas probably her doing.
Jinguuji: She stole my oasis from me!
Jinguuji: Humans die without water!
: How am I supposed to live now?!
Tachibana: You're upset enough to cry?
Jinguuji: So until you turn Tachibana back, \NI will not listen to you!
Jinguuji: Understand?
goddess: You dare to give me orders?
goddess: That stance shows no sign of cooperating...
goddess: Calling me an LED display, a con artist...
goddess: Quit pushing your luck, Four-Eyes...
goddess: I am a goddess of love and beauty!
goddess: You lower life-forms need \Nto learn your place.
goddess: Fine. You're only here to \Nmake up the numbers anyway.
goddess: I'll go ahead and make use \Nof you for some amusement.
goddess: Rejoice!
goddess: For good or ill, I cast this curse which \Nshall make you want to save this world!
goddess: Breaking the curse, returning \Neverything to normal...
goddess: All of it is possible if \Nyou defeat Demon Lord!
goddess: So go ahead and try your best!
goddess: Bye-bye!
Tachibana: What was all that?
Jinguuji: Let's be logical for a moment.
Jinguuji: I've been trying to make sense of the \Nsituation we've found ourselves in...
Tachibana: Yeah. It's been so chaotic, I've got no idea.
Tachibana: And I'm starting to get hungry.
Tachibana: What are we supposed to \Ndo about food and water?
Tachibana: Jinguuji?
Jinguuji: Y-You're cute...
Tachibana: What?
Jinguuji: What?
Jinguuji: What am I saying?
Tachibana: Were you just staring at me in fascination?
Tachibana: I am ridiculously cute right now...
Tachibana: But we need to think seriously right now.
Tachibana: Depending on what we do, \Nwe might have to camp—
Jinguuji: S-Sorry.
Jinguuji: I don't know what's going on myself.
Jinguuji: It's just that this strange \Nfeeling welled up inside me,
Jinguuji: and I couldn't withstand it...
Jinguuji: Blast it. My heart rate is \Nstrangely fast. What is this?
Tachibana: He's so cool... Jinguuji seems so cool!
Tachibana: Those piercing eyes and \Nthat always perfect hair!
Tachibana: His build is slender, but strong!
Tachibana: And now that I'm this short, I understand \Nhow reliable 180 cm can seem!
Tachibana: Even as another man, \NI've thought he was cool, but...
Jinguuji: Those features which retain \Na hint of childlike youth!
Jinguuji: Those dignified, intelligent blue eyes!
Jinguuji: That translucent skin and \Nglorious blonde hair!
Jinguuji: I've never felt this sense of \Nimpatience before. What is it?
Jinguuji: Why is it that I can't look away?
Jinguuji; Tachibana: What is this?!
goddess: For good or ill, I cast this curse which \Nshall make you want to save this world!
Jinguuji; Tachibana: Th-The curse!
Tachibana: That blasted goddess!
Tachibana: She wasn't satisfied with \Nturning me into a woman.
Tachibana: She cast the worst, nastiest curse \Nshe could as a goddess of love!
Jinguuji: Which means that I must withstand this
Jinguuji: to protect our friendship!
Tachibana: This is bad! Insanely bad!
Jinguuji: We must break this curse \Nas quickly as possible!
narrator: In this moment, their two hearts were as one.
Tachibana: Let's do this, Jinguuji.
Jinguuji: Yes. We shall defeat this Demon Lord.
Jinguuji; Tachibana: Before I fall in love with this guy!
narrator: This tale is a romantic comedy between an \Nold guy and someone who used to be an old guy.
Tachibana: I hate this.
Tachibana: I'm tired! I hate this! My feet hurt!
Jinguuji: We haven't been hiking for even an hour.
Jinguuji: Come on, try a little harder.
Jinguuji: You're going to defeat the Demon Lord, right?
Tachibana: I don't feel like I can...
Jinguuji: That part of your personality is \Nthe reason you're not popular.
Tachibana: Look at these skinny legs!
Tachibana: This body is way too weak physically!
Tachibana: And these shoes don't fit! \NThey're way too big!
Jinguuji: Don't go thoughtlessly showing \Nyour legs. It's indecent.
Tachibana: Hey, don't you think it'd be better \Nto go down the mountain than up?
Jinguuji: No.
Jinguuji: Climbing to the top while we can and \Nchecking our surroundings is the soundest choice.
Jinguuji: Besides...
Jinguuji: The fact that this isn't our world \Nhas started to set in, right?
Tachibana: What is that stupidly huge thing anyway?
Jinguuji: The plants are all things \Nwe've never seen before, too.
Jinguuji: And it's much too quiet for a mountain.
Jinguuji: Though there aren't any insects, \Nthere are flowers blooming. It's unsettling.
Tachibana: You really noticed a lot.
Tachibana: Then, do you think it'd be \Nbad to drink the river water?
Jinguuji: Let's hold off until our \Nsituation becomes critical.
Tachibana: This being in another world \Nthing is kinda scary.
Tachibana: I'm glad I'm with you.
Jinguuji: Right? Right?
Tachibana: Still, just leaving us like this \Nwhen we don't know anything...
Tachibana: How savage is that goddess?
Jinguuji: Well, I bear responsibility in this, too.
Jinguuji: There is something about this world \Nwhich I simply cannot forgive.
Tachibana: Is that so?
Jinguuji: The fact that you've become a woman.
Tachibana: Your dislike is way too focused!
Tachibana: You already knew that \N"unforgivable" thing before!
Jinguuji: Yes, I did.
Tachibana: Man...I want a bath.
Tachibana: Don't you usually start in a \Nvillage for this kind of thing?
Tachibana: And she left us with this weird curse...
Jinguuji: Is something wrong?
Tachibana: No! Nothing!
Tachibana: Crap! This curse is really a problem!
Tachibana: Jinguuji's the same as usual.
Tachibana: It's like it's only me feeling weirdly \Nconscious of him. It's so frustrating.
Tachibana: Hang on.
Tachibana: She did say she was using a curse, \Nbut she didn't say what the curse was.
Tachibana: Is it possible that I'm attracted\N to him regardless of the curse?
Tachibana: Huh? What? That's bad, right?
Tachibana: Say, doesn't it seem like we've been \Ncursed to fall in love with each other?
Jinguuji: What?
Tachibana: If I asked that, it's basically \Nthe same as if I said I love him.
Tachibana: And if the curse isn't what \NI think it is, then...
Tachibana: The steadfast 25 years he \Nand I have spent together...
Tachibana: No! That is the one thing \Nthat must not ever happen!
Tachibana: And the fact that he seems like \Nhe might accept it is terrifying!
Jinguuji: Well, sometimes things like this happen.
Tachibana: And the fact that right now I might \Nsee that as good is also terrifying!
Tachibana: This situation only holds terror!
Tachibana: First, I have to determine whether \NJinguuji feels attracted to me or not.
Tachibana: Hey, Jinguuji...
Tachibana: You said I was cute earlier, right?
Tachibana: So this is the kind of \Nthing you're into, huh?
Tachibana: No wonder you weren't interested \Nin any of the women around us.
Tachibana: I mean, there weren't any beautiful \Nblonde girls like this around, right?
Jinguuji: I was wondering what you were going to say.
Jinguuji: Do you really think I'd ever \Npraise a woman's appearance?
Jinguuji: We've been together 25 years,\N and it's never happened once, has it?
Jinguuji: You are as bird-brained and \Nuncomprehending as ever.
Tachibana: H-Huh? Didn't you say something \Nlike that? How weird...
Tachibana: Crap! I'm not confident I can \Ntrust my memory. Is it my age?
Jinguuji: Honestly. At a time like this...
Jinguuji: But I do like that part of you.
Jinguuji: Are you asking if you're cute?
Jinguuji: If that is what this throbbing \Nin my chest says, then...
Jinguuji: I must think you're cute!
Jinguuji: In this state you're in, Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Blast it! I feel like I'll go crazy\N if I look directly at her face!
Jinguuji: But...
Jinguuji: I have my pride.
Jinguuji: Just you watch, Tachibana.
Jinguuji: No matter how cute you are, \NI will never fall in love with you!
Jinguuji: Not even if that is the type \Nof curse which has been cast!
Jinguuji: Not even though you've turned into a woman!
Jinguuji: I will prove to that blasted goddess \Nthat our friendship is immutable!
Jinguuji: I will return you to being a man with \Nour relationship just as it was!
Tachibana: This guy's expressions don't change \Nmuch, so I can't really tell.
Tachibana: But without evidence, I can't do much more...
Tachibana: Then shouldn't I just get \Nhim to call me cute again?
Tachibana: Oh, dear!
Tachibana: Oh, no! I've fallen down!
Jinguuji: Are you all right, Tachibana?
Tachibana: Sorry, Jinguuji.
Tachibana: I don't think I can walk anymore...
Tachibana: How's that? If I were a guy, I'd find \Nthis feminine gesture adorable...
Tachibana: the upward glance!
Tachibana: The only problem with it would be \Nthat I, at 32, am the one doing it.
Tachibana: This is rough! To be honest,\N it's really rough!
Tachibana: But!
Tachibana: The shock of seeing this cute move\N when I'm already so cute
Tachibana: should overwhelm a cerebral, four-eyed virgin!
Jinguuji: I see.
Jinguuji: Then...
Jinguuji: I'll lend you a hand.
Jinguuji: You're probably lighter than you were.
: Shall I carry you in a princess hold?
Tachibana: H-He countered it?
Jinguuji: That was close!
Jinguuji: The overwhelming cuteness made me\N nearly black out for a second!
Jinguuji: But, though it was spur of the moment, \Nmy reaction was good.
Jinguuji: After rationally determining the \Nadvantages of the gender change,
Jinguuji: I've thrown in some jokes to emphasize \Nthe fact that I'm not bothered.
Tachibana: Crap. I never thought he'd \Nmanage to evade like this!
Tachibana: But I've put myself through something \Nreally embarrassing here...
Tachibana: I can't retreat now!
Jinguuji: Huh? No. Wait, wait, wait!
Jinguuji: Are Tachibana and I about to come into \Nclose contact? Pressed together?!
Jinguuji: Close contact... Piggyback would mean \Nher chest pressed against my back!
Jinguuji: A princess hold would mean our \Nfaces would be close together!
Tachibana: Fine, I'll take your challenge, Jinguuji.
Tachibana: Now I've come this far, pressing my chest \Nagainst you or whatever is all the same to me!
Tachibana: Huh?
Tachibana: What's with that thing?
Tachibana: It's a wild...
Tachibana: A wild... what?
Tachibana: Is it some kind of monster?
Tachibana: It's kind of cute.
Tachibana: It's creepy! I take it back!
Tachibana: What was that?
Tachibana: Jinguuji, dodge!
Tachibana: Are you okay? Did it graze you?
Jinguuji: You're holding on too tight. \NCan you give me a little more slack?
Tachibana: Is this really the time?!
Tachibana: I know it's gross, but \Njust bear with it for now!
Jinguuji: No, well... Yes.
Jinguuji: It will be harder to run \Nif you loosen your grip.
Jinguuji: So hold on tight.
Tachibana: R-Right...
Tachibana: I'm sorry. If you were alone, you'd \Nhave been able to get away easily.
Jinguuji: It's not a problem.
Jinguuji: I feel as though I've got wings.
Tachibana: That was a little creepy, you know...
Jinguuji: C-Creepy?
Tachibana: I m-mean, as long as I'm not heavy, \NI guess it doesn't matter.
Jinguuji: Well... More than your weight,\Nfor me it's, how shall I put it...
Jinguuji: You're so soft!
Jinguuji: And your face is so close!
Jinguuji: No! This is no time to be \Nnoticing things like that!
Jinguuji: I need to focus!
Jinguuji: But...
Jinguuji: Whether I'm conscious of it or not, \Nthis softness is attacking my reason...
Jinguuji: She's so warm! She smells so nice!
Jinguuji: Oh, no!
Tachibana: Jinguuji!
Tachibana: I-I-I-It's coming! It's coming for real!
Tachibana: Please get up, Jinguuji! \NIf we don't hurry up and run away...
Jinguuji: Run? Me?
Tachibana: Jinguuji...
Jinguuji: That's right.
Jinguuji: Why am I running in the first place?
Jinguuji: I have never turned my \Nback on an enemy and run.
Jinguuji: I am undefeated, unbeaten. \NI have always found a way.
Jinguuji: Is there any need for me to run?
Jinguuji: Right. I'll do this. I'll do it. \NI'll do it! I will do this!
Tachibana: Hey! You idiot! Stop!
Tachibana: That thing's too dangerous, even for you!
Jinguuji: It's all right.
Jinguuji: I'll find a way.
Tachibana: Don't give me "pitter pat"!
Tachibana: This is seriously dangerous!
Tachibana: That thing shoots beams!
: It's a wild exploding-type animal!
Tachibana: Come back here! You'll die!
Tachibana: Jinguuji!
Jinguuji: Take that.
text: Aaaaah
Tachibana: Is it... dead?
Jinguuji: Probably.
Jinguuji: Going to the gym has paid off!
Tachibana: That was beyond what you can \Ndo by training at the gym.
Tachibana: It's probably that thing...
Tachibana: The thing that happens in reincarnation \Nstuff where physical abilities get boosted.
Jinguuji: But I do weight training every morning.
Tachibana: You think that's how you killed\N that with one punch?
Tachibana: The fact that you're 32 and not out of \Nbreath after moving that much is weird!
Jinguuji: Don't lump me together with yourself.
Jinguuji: Honestly.
Jinguuji: Dodge!
Tachibana: Huh?
Tachibana: I thought I was gonna die...
Tachibana: Jinguuji, are you okay?
Tachibana: Are you hurt anywhere?
Jinguuji: I don't feel any pain in particular.
Jinguuji: But there is definitely something to this.
Tachibana: What are those numbers for?
Tachibana: Experience points?
Jinguuji: Something has popped up.
Tachibana: Jinguuji, your level's super high!
Tachibana: And mine's super low!
Jinguuji: It must be because of my training!
Tachibana: Is it really thanks to that?
Jinguuji: What is this "Skills" thing?
Tachibana: The way this is going...
Tachibana: I might have cheat-level skills!
Tachibana: Unparalleled beauty... Troublemaker...
Jinguuji: Isn't it wonderful? \NYour wishes have come true.
Tachibana: I never said I wanted to be a woman.
Jinguuji: Yes, you did.
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: After the mixer. When you were dead drunk.
Tachibana: I want to be a girl so beautiful \Nthat I couldn't possibly exist
: in this world, and have everyone fawn over me.
Tachibana: Who grants wishes from when a person's \Nso drunk they don't even remember it?
Tachibana: How careless can you be?
Tachibana: Which means...
Tachibana: Could turning me into a woman have \Nbeen a sign of that goddess' favor?
Jinguuji: It probably was a kindness.
Tachibana: Didn't we complain and talk \Nreally harshly to her?
Jinguuji: Yes, we did.
Tachibana: Next time we see her, \Nwe should apologize together.
Jinguuji: I refuse.
Tachibana: We will apologize!
Jinguuji: Well, if you insist, Tachibana.
Jinguuji: But why is it only you who \Nwas given your ideal form?
Jinguuji: Did I get nothing?
Tachibana: Do you have an ideal appearance?
Jinguuji: Me, as I am now.
Tachibana: I see.
Tachibana: Then maybe you have skills \Nor something instead?
Tachibana: You do! That's a suspicious looking one!
Tachibana: Since you've got it, let's try it out!
Tachibana: It might be a cheat-level skill, after all.
Jinguuji: To activate it...
Jinguuji: I do this.
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji; Tachibana: A door?
Tachibana: You know...
Jinguuji: What is it, Tachibana?
Tachibana: Does being 32 make us old guys?
Jinguuji: If we're not old guys, what are we?
Tachibana: Well, that's true, but...
Jinguuji: That worry only shows that you care too \Nmuch how others and society categorize you.
Jinguuji: Your reality is something you as a member of society—
Tachibana: I get it! Sorry.
Tachibana: I'm good...

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Chihiro
Jinguuji: S-Sorry.
Tachibana: No, I'm the one who should apologize.
Jinguuji: This appearance is a trap!
Jinguuji: That's really an old guy in his 30s.
Jinguuji: I should just act normal with him.
Tachibana: Stay calm, me.
Tachibana: While my body is a girl's, I'm a straight man.
Jinguuji: I do not ever want to be in a romantic relationship with this guy!
Tachibana: I could never fall in love with a guy!
narrator: This story is...
narrator: Well, their reactions make it obvious.
narrator: It's a romantic comedy between an old guy and a former old guy.
# : OP SHIFT
Tachibana: Oh, man.
Tachibana: I'm so nervous. There are so many cute girls here.
Tachibana: Flight attendants really are on a different level!
Jinguuji: Really?
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: I’m not really interested.
Jinguuji: I'm more interested in the fish tank. Did you see it?
Jinguuji: Fish are wonderful. I get really excited.
Tachibana: Why did you come to this mixer anyway?
Jinguuji: You're too taken in by appearances.
Tachibana: Ugh.
Jinguuji: Get to know the women first. It's dangerous out there.
Tachibana: Are you my mom or something?
narrator: These two have known each other since elementary school,
narrator: but they are not alike at all.
narrator: Jinguuji Tsukasa.
narrator: He's tall with handsome features.
narrator: No matter what he does, he does it well.
narrator: His athletics, academics, and confidence level are top-class.
narrator: Because of that,
narrator: he's been incredibly popular ever since his school days.
narrator: Women have been flocking to him for the last 20 years.
narrator: He's never been particularly interested in women.
narrator: But their dark side stood out to him
narrator: so he's developed a complete distrust of women.
narrator: That is why...
Jinguuji: I will only allow you to date a woman I've approved of.
Jinguuji: Though I doubt that such a woman exists.
narrator: That's the excuse he gives, but...
Jinguuji: I just feel more comfortable around men.
Jinguuji: The oasis of my heart is, and will always be, you alone.
narrator: He really just doesn't want a woman to take his best friend from him. 
Tachibana: If you don't see a girl you like, then please don't get in my way.
Jinguuji: Then why do you always invite me?
Jinguuji: You know this will happen, right?
Tachibana: I-I get nervous coming to these mixers alone.
Jinguuji: You feel lonely so easily.
Jinguuji: You should be more confident in yourself.
Tachibana: Confidence, huh?
Tachibana: That's impossible with you around!
narrator: Tachibana Hinata.
narrator: Height, weight, etc. all average.
narrator: Neither good nor bad at anything.
narrator: This man walks a finely balanced line.
Tachibana; background: Oh! Um, excuse me!
narrator: Every woman he has ever fallen for has been taken by Jinguuji.
Tachibana: I never imagined it would continue even after we left school!
Tachibana: As long as I'm with him, I'll never get a girlfriend! Ever!
narrator: He brings Jinguuji to mixers hoping to get him married off as quickly as possible.
Tachibana: But why does this guy have so little interest in women?
Tachibana: We're already 32, you know?
Tachibana: Could it be that he's in love with me?
narrator: This situation appears very complicated.
Tachibana: I want to be a woman.
Tachibana: If I'd always feel this small and miserable, I'd rather just become a woman.
Tachibana: If I were a girl so fantastically beautiful
Tachibana: then everyone would worship me.
Jinguuji: You drank too much, idiot.
Tachibana: If that happened, I'd want to look childlike, but still be sharp.
Tachibana: A short loli-type with soft blonde hair.
Jinguuji: That is why you can't get a woman.
Tachibana: Oh, shut up! Even I would do fine if I didn't have someone like you close by!
Jinguuji: I'm tired of hearing that.
Tachibana: Out of curiosity,
Tachibana: what kind of girl is your type?
Jinguuji: I've never thought about it.
Jinguuji: Right now, all I'm thinking about is seeing you back to your place.
Tachibana: Why? Why is it always you, Jinguuji?
Tachibana: You’re terrible, you know that?
Tachibana: You're popular and cool. It's no fair.
Tachibana: Damn it. You moron.
Jinguuji: And the only one who'd spend time with someone as despicable as me is you.
Jinguuji: Come on, wake up!
goddess: Say... Is it dead?
Jinguuji: Wha—?!
Jinguuji: A bizarre, half-naked, LED woman!
goddess: It's a halo! A halo!
goddess: You're a very rude human!
goddess: Alive then, is he?
goddess: Step aside, Four-Eyes.
goddess: If he lives, then I merely need to kill him.
Jinguuji: Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Where are you, Tachibana?
Jinguuji: You're safe. I'm so glad.
Jinguuji: Huh? Safe?
Jinguuji: Safe from what? I can't remember.
Jinguuji: Hey, wake up, Tachiba—
Jinguuji: What?!
Jinguuji: Your body's melted!
Jinguuji: What is this? It's disgusting!
Tachibana: Oh, keep it down. You're making my head ring.
Tachibana: Is this a hangover?
Tachibana: My head hurts and my throat feels weird.
Tachibana: Where are we anyway, Jinguuji?
Jinguuji: Wh— Wh—
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: Who are you, you snake?!
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: What have you done with Tachibana?!
Tachibana: What? Did you hit your head or something?
Tachibana: Forgetting your best friend's face is pretty harsh.
Jinguuji: I only have one best friend! And it isn't you!
Tachibana: Whoa! She's cute!
Tachibana: Who's that?
Jinguuji: You.
Tachibana: What?!
Tachibana: What is this? What's going on?
Tachibana: I've got stuff I shouldn't up top!
Tachibana: And I'm missing stuff I should have down below!
Tachibana: Why am I in the body of the perfect woman I dreamed up?!
Tachibana: Why are you barfing?!
Jinguuji: It's like Tachibana turned into a girl and is talking to me. It's sickening.
Tachibana: I have become a girl and I am talking to you!
goddess: How do you like it?
goddess: How does it feel to become the embodiment of your desires?
Tachibana: There's an exhibitionist woman in front of us.
goddess: Both of you are really rude!
Jinguuji: The embodiment of your desires?
Jinguuji: What do you mean?
goddess: When I summoned you here, I granted your wish.
goddess: Welcome to another world, O brave heroes!
goddess: This world is on the brink of danger, and only the heroes can save it!
goddess: When you have defeated the Demon Lord,
goddess: I shall grant you any wish you like!
Tachibana: Did you hear that, Jinguuji? Apparently, we're heroes!
Jinguuji: Do not be fooled, Tachibana-like woman.
Jinguuji: This is obviously some kind of scam.
Tachibana: You say some really crazy things.
Jinguuji: I have a very bad feeling about this woman.
Jinguuji: We shouldn't get involved with her.
goddess: His memories should have been erased.
goddess: His sharp intuition is a problem.
Jinguuji: And most importantly,
Jinguuji: turning you into a woman was probably her doing.
Jinguuji: She stole my oasis from me!
Jinguuji: Humans die without water!
Jinguuji: How am I supposed to live now?!
Tachibana: That made you cry?
Jinguuji: So until you turn Tachibana back, I will not listen to you!
Jinguuji: Understand?
goddess: You dare to give me orders?
goddess: That rebellious stance...
goddess: Calling me an LED display, a con artist...
goddess: Quit pushing your luck, Four-Eyes.
goddess: I am a goddess of love and beauty!
goddess: You lower lifeforms need to learn your place.
goddess: Fine. You're only here to make up the numbers anyway.
goddess: I should make use of you for some amusement.
goddess: Rejoice!
goddess: For better or worse, I cast this curse which shall make you want to save this world!
goddess: You can break the curse and return everything to normal
goddess: by defeating the Demon Lord!
goddess: So try your best!
goddess: Bye-bye!
Tachibana: What was all that?
Jinguuji: Let's be logical for a moment.
Jinguuji: I've been trying to make sense of this whole situation.
Tachibana: Yeah. It's been so chaotic, I can't make heads or tails of it.
Tachibana: And I'm starting to get hungry.
Tachibana: What are we supposed to do about food and water?
Tachibana: Jinguuji?
Jinguuji: Y-You're cute.
Tachibana: What?
Jinguuji: What?
Jinguuji: What am I saying?
Tachibana: Were you just checking me out?
Tachibana: I am ridiculously cute right now...
Tachibana: But we need to take this seriously.
Tachibana: We might even have to camp out—
Jinguuji: S-Sorry.
Jinguuji: I don't know what's going on myself.
Jinguuji: It's just that this strange feeling welled up inside me,
Jinguuji: and I couldn't withstand it.
Jinguuji: Blast it. My heart rate is strangely fast. What is this?
Tachibana: God. Jinguuji looks so cool!
Tachibana: Those piercing eyes and that always perfect hair!
Tachibana: His build that looks slender but strong!
Tachibana: And now that I'm this short, his 180 cm height makes him look reliable! 
Tachibana: Even as another man, I had thought he was cool, but...
Jinguuji: Those features which retain a hint of childlike youth!
Jinguuji: Those dignified, intelligent blue eyes!
Jinguuji: That translucent skin and glorious blonde hair!
Jinguuji: I've never felt this sense of impatience before. What is it?
Jinguuji: Why can't I look away?
Jinguuji; Tachibana: What is this?!
goddess: For better or worse, I cast this curse which shall make you want to save this world!
Jinguuji; Tachibana: Th-The curse!
Tachibana: That blasted goddess!
Tachibana: She didn't stop with turning me into a woman.
Tachibana: She cast the worst, nastiest curse she could as a goddess of love!
Jinguuji: Which means that I must withstand this
Jinguuji: to protect our friendship!
Tachibana: This is bad! Insanely bad!
Jinguuji: We must break this curse as quickly as possible!
narrator: In this moment, their two hearts are as one.
Tachibana: Let's do this, Jinguuji.
Jinguuji: Yes. Let us defeat this Demon Lord.
Jinguuji; Tachibana: Before I fall in love with this guy!
narrator: It's a romantic comedy between an old guy and a former old guy.
Tachibana: I hate this.
Tachibana: I'm tired! I hate this! My feet hurt!
Jinguuji: It hasn't even been an hour since we started.
Jinguuji: Try a little harder.
Jinguuji: We're off to defeat the Demon Lord, right?
Tachibana: It's impossible.
Jinguuji: That's why you're not popular.
Tachibana: Look at these skinny legs!
Tachibana: This body is way too weak!
Tachibana: And these shoes don't fit! They're way too big!
Jinguuji: Don't just show off your legs. It's indecent.
Tachibana: Hey, don't you think it'd be better to go down the mountain than up?
Jinguuji: No.
Jinguuji: We should climb to the top while we can and check our surroundings.
Jinguuji: Besides,
Jinguuji: the fact that this isn't our world has started to sink in, right?
Tachibana: What is that stupid huge thing anyway?
Jinguuji: The plants are all things we've never seen before, too.
Jinguuji: And it's too quiet for a mountain.
Jinguuji: There are flowers blooming but no insects. It's unsettling.
Tachibana: You really noticed a lot.
Tachibana: Then, do you think it'd be bad to drink the river water?
Jinguuji: Let's hold off until our situation becomes critical.
Tachibana: Being in another world is kinda scary.
Tachibana: I'm glad I'm with you.
Jinguuji: I know, right?
Tachibana: Still, she just left us like this when we don't know anything.
Tachibana: What a savage goddess.
Jinguuji: Well, I bear responsibility in this, too.
Jinguuji: There is something about this which I simply cannot forgive.
Tachibana: Is that so?
Jinguuji: The fact that you've become a woman.
Tachibana: Your dislike is way too focused!
Tachibana: You already knew that "unforgivable" thing before!
Jinguuji: Yes, I did.
Tachibana: Man, I want to take a bath.
Tachibana: Don't you usually start in a village for this kind of thing?
Tachibana: And she left us with this weird curse...
Jinguuji: Is something wrong?
Tachibana: No! Nothing!
Tachibana: Crap! This curse is really a problem!
Tachibana: Jinguuji's the same as usual.
Tachibana: It's like it's only me feeling weirdly conscious of him. It's frustrating.
Tachibana: Hang on.
Tachibana: She did say she was using a curse, but she didn't say what it was.
Tachibana: Could it be that I'm attracted to him regardless of the curse?
Tachibana: Wait, what? That's bad, right?
Tachibana: Say, doesn't it seem like we've been cursed to fall in love with each other?
Jinguuji: What?
Tachibana: If I asked that, it'd be basically a confession!
Tachibana: And if the curse isn't what I think it is, then,
Tachibana: the steadfast 25 years he and I have spent together...
Tachibana: No! That is the one thing that must not ever happen!
Tachibana: And the fact that he could accept it is terrifying!
Jinguuji: Well, sometimes things like this happen.
Tachibana: The fact that I might see that as a good thing is also terrifying!
Tachibana: It's terror everywhere!
Tachibana: First, I have to determine whether Jinguuji feels attracted to me or not.
Tachibana: Hey, Jinguuji.
Tachibana: You said I was cute earlier, right?
Tachibana: So this is the kind of thing you're into, huh?
Tachibana: No wonder you weren't interested in the women around us.
Tachibana: There weren't any beautiful blonde girls like this around, right?
Jinguuji: I was wondering what you were trying to say.
Jinguuji: Do you really think I'd ever praise a woman's appearance?
Jinguuji: We've been together 25 years, and it's never happened once, has it?
Jinguuji: Still forgetful and slow as ever, I see.
Tachibana: H-Huh? You didn’t say that? Weird.
Tachibana: Crap! I'm not confident in my memory. Is it my age?
Jinguuji: Honestly. At a time like this...
Jinguuji: But I do like that part of you.
Jinguuji: Are you cute?
Jinguuji: This throbbing in my chest must then mean...
Jinguuji: that I think you're cute!
Jinguuji: In this state you're in, Tachibana!
Jinguuji: Blast it! I feel like I'll go crazy if I look directly at her face!
Jinguuji: But...
Jinguuji: I have my pride.
Jinguuji: Watch me, Tachibana.
Jinguuji: No matter how cute you are, \NI will never fall in love with you!
Jinguuji: Not even if that is the curse which has been cast!
Jinguuji: Not even though you've turned into a woman!
Jinguuji: I will prove to that blasted goddess that our friendship is immutable!
Jinguuji: I will return you to being a man with our relationship just as it was!
Tachibana: This guy's expressions don't change much, so I can't really tell.
Tachibana: But without evidence, I can't do much more.
Tachibana: Then shouldn't I just get him to call me cute again?
Tachibana: Oh, dear!
Tachibana: Oh, no! I've fallen down!
Jinguuji: Are you all right, Tachibana?
Tachibana: Sorry, Jinguuji.
Tachibana: I don't think I can walk anymore.
Tachibana: How's that? If I were a guy, I'd find this feminine gesture adorable...
Tachibana: the upward glance!
Tachibana: Minus points for being performed by a 32-year old dude.
Tachibana: To be honest, it's really rough!
Tachibana: But!
Tachibana: The shock of seeing this cute move when I'm already so cute
Tachibana: should overwhelm a cerebral, four-eyed virgin like you!
Jinguuji: I see.
Jinguuji: Then...
Jinguuji: I'll lend you a hand.
Jinguuji: You're probably lighter than you were.
Jinguuji: Shall I carry you in my arms?
Tachibana: H-He countered it?
Jinguuji: That was close!
Jinguuji: She was so cute I nearly blacked out for a second!
Jinguuji: Despite that, my adlib reaction was good.
Jinguuji: After rationally determining the advantages of the gender change,
Jinguuji: I've thrown in a joke to emphasize the fact that I'm not bothered.
Tachibana: Crap. I never thought he'd manage to evade like this!
Tachibana: But I've put myself through something really embarrassing here.
Tachibana: I can't retreat now!
Jinguuji: Huh? No. Wait, wait, wait!
Jinguuji: Are Tachibana and I about to come into close contact? Pressed together?!
Jinguuji: Piggyback would mean her chest pressed against my back!
Jinguuji: A princess hold would put our faces close together!
Tachibana: Fine, I'll take your challenge, Jinguuji.
Tachibana: Now that I've come this far, I don't care whether you touch my chest or what!
Tachibana: Huh?
Tachibana: What's with that thing?!
Tachibana: It's a wild...
Tachibana: Something.
Tachibana: Is it some kind of monster?
Tachibana: It's kind of cute.
Tachibana: I take it back! It's creepy!
Tachibana: What was that?
Tachibana: Jinguuji, dodge!
Tachibana: Are you okay? Did it graze you?
Jinguuji: You're holding on too tight. Can you give me a little more slack?
Tachibana: Is this really the time?!
Tachibana: I know it's gross, but just bear with it for now!
Jinguuji: No, well... Yes.
Jinguuji: It will be harder to run if you loosen your grip.
Jinguuji: So hold on tight.
Tachibana: R-Right.
Tachibana: I'm sorry. If you were alone, you'd have been able to get away easily.
Jinguuji: It's not a problem.
Jinguuji: I feel like I'm flying.
Tachibana: That was a little creepy, you know.
Jinguuji: C-Creepy?
Tachibana: I m-mean, as long as I'm not heavy, I guess it doesn't matter.
Jinguuji: Well, more than your weight, for me it's, how shall I put it...
Jinguuji: You're so soft!
Jinguuji: And your face is so close!
Jinguuji: No! This is not the time to be noticing things like that!
Jinguuji: I need to focus!
Jinguuji: But...
Jinguuji: Whether I'm conscious of it or not, this softness is attacking my reason.
Jinguuji: She's so warm! She smells so nice!
Jinguuji: Oh, no!
Tachibana: Jinguuji!
Tachibana: I-I-I-It's coming! Oh no!
Tachibana: Please get up, Jinguuji! \NIf we don't start running...
Jinguuji: Run? Me?
Tachibana: Jinguuji?
Jinguuji: That's right.
Jinguuji: Why am I running in the first place?
Jinguuji: I have never turned my back on an enemy.
Jinguuji: I am undefeated, unbeaten. I have always found a way.
Jinguuji: I don't need to run at all.
Jinguuji: Right. I'll do this. I'll do it. I'll do it! I will do this!
Tachibana: Hey! You idiot! Stop!
Tachibana: That thing's too dangerous, even for you!
Jinguuji: It's all right.
Jinguuji: I'll find a way.
Tachibana: Don't give me "pitter pat"!
Tachibana: This is seriously dangerous!
Tachibana: That thing shoots beams!
Tachibana: It probably explodes too!
Tachibana: Come back here! You'll die!
Tachibana: Jinguuji!
Jinguuji: Take that.
Tachibana: Is it... dead?
Jinguuji: Probably.
Jinguuji: Going to the gym has paid off!
Tachibana: That was beyond what you can do by training at the gym.
Tachibana: If I had to guess,
Tachibana: it's probably that thing in reincarnation stuff where physical abilities get boosted.
Jinguuji: But I do weight training every morning.
Tachibana: You're not a caped baldy who kills things with one punch.
Tachibana: It's just weird that you're 32 and not out of breath after moving that much!
Jinguuji: Don't lump me together with yourself.
Jinguuji: Honestly.
Jinguuji: Dodge!
Tachibana: Huh?
Tachibana: I thought I was gonna die.
Tachibana: Jinguuji, are you okay?
Tachibana: Are you hurt anywhere?
Jinguuji: I don't feel any pain in particular.
Jinguuji: But there is definitely something to this.
Tachibana: What are those numbers for?
Tachibana: Experience points?
Jinguuji: Something popped up.
Tachibana: Jinguuji, your level's super high!
Tachibana: And mine's super low!
Jinguuji: It must be my training!
Tachibana: As if.
Jinguuji: What is this "Skills" thing?
Tachibana: The way this is going,
Tachibana: I might have cheat-level skills!
Tachibana: Unparalleled beauty, troublemaker...
Jinguuji: Isn't it wonderful? Your wishes have come true.
Tachibana: I never said I wanted to be a woman.
Jinguuji: Yes, you did.
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji: After the mixer. When you were dead drunk.
Tachibana: If I were a girl so fantastically beautiful
Tachibana: then everyone would worship me.
Tachibana: Who grants wishes from a person so drunk they don't even remember it?
Tachibana: How careless can you be?
Tachibana: Which means...
Tachibana: Could turning me into a woman have been a sign of that goddess's favor?
Jinguuji: Probably.
Tachibana: Didn't we complain and talk really harshly to her?
Jinguuji: Yes, we did.
Tachibana: Next time we see her, we should apologize together.
Jinguuji: I refuse.
Tachibana: We will apologize!
Jinguuji: Well, if you insist, Tachibana.
Jinguuji: But why is it only you who was given your ideal form?
Jinguuji: Did I get nothing?
Tachibana: Do you have an ideal appearance?
Jinguuji: Me, as I am now.
Tachibana: I see.
Tachibana: Then maybe you have skills or something instead?
Tachibana: You do! That's a suspicious looking one!
Tachibana: Since you've got it, let's try it out!
Tachibana: It might be a cheat-level skill, after all.
Jinguuji: To activate it,
Jinguuji: I just do this.
Tachibana: Huh?
Jinguuji; Tachibana: A door?
# : ED SHIFT
Tachibana: You know...
Jinguuji: What is it, Tachibana?
Tachibana: Does being 32 make us old?
Jinguuji: If we're not old guys, what are we?
Tachibana: Well, that's true, but...
Jinguuji: That only shows that you care too much how society categorizes you.
Jinguuji: Your reality is something you as a member of society—
Tachibana: I get it! Sorry.
Tachibana: I'm good.

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Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout - S01E01 - CR vs Chihiro