Welcome to the N-H-K (2006) - S01E01 - CR vs Okay-Subs

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CR
Okay-Subs
There's no mistake about it.
There's no mistake.
This is...
This is...
...a conspiracy!
...a conspiracy!
That's right, I...
That's right, I...
I've gotten involved in a big...
I've gotten involved in a big...
...a big...
...a big...
...an incredibly big...
...an incredibly big...
...conspiracy!
...conspiracy!
My brain's been out of whack lately...
My brain's been out of whack lately.
Is that because I sleep sixteen hours a day?
Maybe it's because I sleep sixteen hours a day.
I can hear the theme song of a girlie anime blasting through from next door again.
Pururin! Puddypuddypudding...
This has been going on every single day since last month.
I can hear that cutesy anime theme song blasting through from next door again.
Yeah, I already know...
This has been going on every single day for a month.
I've heard that phrase hundreds of times.
Yeah, I get it already.
But at any rate, I don't know about this "pururin" thing.
I've heard that verse hundreds of times.
--Is she a bouncy-looking girl or something?
But man, I don't know what this "Pururin" thing's all about.
--Puru puru puru puru puru pururin!
Is she a bouncy-looking girl or something?
--That's not a human!
Puddy puddy puddy puddy puddy Pururin!
--Or does it mean a girl that looks like a pudding?
That's not a human!
--♪ I'm pururin! Purupururin! ♪
Or does it mean a girl that looks like a pudding?
♪ Pururin purupururin ♪
I'm Pururin! Puddypudding!
--♪ Rinrin purupurupururin pururu ♪
Quiet!
--Quiet!
Shut up!
--♪ Pururin purupururin ♪
--Shut up!
♪ Pururin purupururin Pururin purupururin ♪
Today's the day! I'm not going to take this anymore!
Today's the day! I'm not going to take this anymore!
I hate this song! If I have to keep listening to it, I'm going to go crazy!
I hate this song! If I have to keep listening to it, I'm going to go crazy!
I'm going to go complain!
I'm going to go complain!
This is no big deal.
Yep, nothing to it.
In fact, it's pretty simple.
The plan is simple.
I just have to open the door and walk a few steps towards the next door.
I just have to open the door and walk a few steps to the next-door apartment.
And then I'd knock, open the door and...
And then I'll knock, open the door and...
You frickin' anime otaku! Turn that shit down!
You frickin' anime otaku! Turn that shit down!
Just like that, I'd yell at him.
I'll let him have it, just like that.
That's all there is to it.
That's all there is to it.
That's all I have to do!
That's all I have to do!
There must be something wrong with that person.
There must be something wrong with that guy.
I heard voices...
I heard voices.
Doesn't he have any sense of shame?
Doesn't he have any sense of shame?
It's just creepy!
It's just creepy!
So stupid.
So stupid.
I just want him to stop walking around the neighborhood.
I just want him to stop walking around the neighborhood.
Eeeew! What a freak!
Eeeew! What a freak!
So irritating!
So irritating!
Give me a break!
Give me a break!
That was my first summer in college.
That was the summer when I was a college freshman.
I was on my way to school and it was scorching hot outside.
I was on my way to school on a scorching hot day.
I ran back to my apartment as if I were running away from it all.
I ran back to my apartment as if I were running away from it all.
And from that day forward, I stopped going outside.
And from that day forward, I stopped going outside.
"Mita House"
Welcome to Garden Mania.
Welcome to Garden Mania.
Today we're going to talk about goldenrod.
Today, we're going to talk about goldenrod.
Conspiracy...
Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
♪ Puru puru pururin pururin ♪
Puddypuddypudding Pururin
--♪ Puru puru pururin purupururin... ♪
Puddypuddypudding Pururin
--Conspiracy?!
Puddypuddypudding Pururin
Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy?!
There are conspiracies in this world.
There are conspiracies in this world.
--The Columbia disaster was a Venusian conspiracy.
The Columbia disaster was a Venusian conspiracy.
--That's right, she was saying the same thing.
That's right, she was saying the same thing.
--Brown-dyed hair is the beauty industry's conspiracy.
Brown-dyed hair is the beauty industry's conspiracy.
--That's right, the existence of conspiracy is
Society talks about conspiracies as if there's no doubt they exist.
--talked about in the society as if it were true.
Cedar pollen is the tissue industry's conspiracy.
--Cedar pollen is the facial tissue industry's conspiracy...
But you know what?
But you know what, Senpai?
Ninety-nine percent of all so-called "conspiracies" are just a big delusion.
Ninety-nine percent of all so-called "conspiracies" are simply imagination.
Or they're lies spread by someone. Basically, they're a bunch of baloney.
Or they're just big intentional lies. Basically, they're a bunch of baloney.
So one percent of them actually are real?
So one percent of it is the truth?
I saw a younger student being bullied.
--I saw a junior student being bullied.
Kick his ass!
--Kick his ass!
He was a student from our middle school.
He was a student from the middle school division.
I wanted to show off in front of her.
I wanted to show off in front of her.
--Conspiracy...
Conspiracy...
--Hey, stop it!
Hey, stop it!
Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Conspiracy... Conspiracy...
Tell me something, Senpai.
Hey, tell me something.
Is this some kind of conspiracy too?
Is this some kind of conspiracy too?
Stop talking!
Stop talking!
Homeroom isn't over yet!
Homeroom isn't over yet!
Quiet please!
Quiet please!
You're the noisiest one!
You're the noisiest one!
Sato!
Sato!
If you have something to say, raise your hand!
If you have something to say, raise your hand!
Was that a conspiracy too?
Was that a conspiracy too?
This is a conspiracy too...
This is a conspiracy too...
This is too...
This is too...
This is too... This is too... This is too...
This is too... This is too... This is too...
This is too!
This is too!
Are they all conspiracies?
Is it all just a conspiracy?
--Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
--I get it!
Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
I must've gotten myself involved in a real, less than one percent probable, conspiracy!
Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Conspiracy!
I get it!
I must've gotten myself involved in a conspiracy! The elusive, less than one percent, genuine kind!
Congratulations, Sato!
Congratulations, Sato!
So you finally realized, huh?
So you finally realized, huh?
Yeah...
Yeah...
Things continuously going wrong for you
Things continuously going wrong for you
was in fact a conspiracy to make you withdraw from society!
was in fact a conspiracy to make you withdraw from society!
But who would plot a conspiracy like that?
But who would plot a conspiracy like that?
Conspiracy radio waves!
Conspiracy broadcast incoming!
What's the matter, TV?
What's the matter, TV?
It's the N.H.K.!
It's the N.H.K.!
That evil secret organization N.H.K. is attacking us!
That evil secret organization N.H.K. is attacking us!
N.H.K.?
N.H.K.?
I see!
I see!
Why didn't I realize such a simple thing until now?
Why didn't I realize such a simple thing until now?
You can't talk about anime without mentioning otaku.
Anime comes hand in hand with otaku.
And otaku tend to be anti-social.
And otaku tend to be anti-social.
--I'm Pururin, a magical alien, who came from a magic planet!
I'm Pururin, a magical alien who came from a magic planet!
--People like that eventually become reclusive.
People like that eventually become reclusive.
In other words,
In other words,
they have been mass-producing anime otaku by showing them interesting anime,
the N.H.K. has been mass-producing anime otaku by showing them interesting anime,
helping to create a massive emergence of NEETs!
helping to create a massive outbreak of NEETs!
Basically, N.H.K. is...
Basically, the N.H.K. is...
"Japan"
"Social-Withdrawal"
"Association"
Nihon...
Nihon...
Japan
Hikikomori...
Hikikomori...
Social-Withdrawal
Kyokai!
Kyokai!
Association
Welcome to the N.H.K.!
Welcome to the N.H.K.!
I am the man who became aware of the N.H.K.'s conspiracy:
I am the man who became aware of the N.H.K.'s conspiracy:
Tatsuhiro Sato, 22 years old!
Sato Tatsuhiro, 22 years old!
I've shut myself away from society for three years...
I've shut myself away from society for three years...
Almost four years now!
Almost four years now!
Some karate masters would seclude themselves in the mountains
Karate masters of old would seclude themselves in the mountains
in order to master the secret technique that could break rock.
in order to master secret techniques that could break rock.
If I can obtain strength by secluding myself,
If secluding myself is the way to obtain strength,
I should have cultivated enough strength to crush this beer bottle by now.
I should have cultivated enough power to crush this beer bottle by now.
Who broke the beer bottle?
Who broke the beer bottle?
It was me!
It was me!
It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! Where's the first aid kit? Oww!
It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! Where's the first aid kit? Oww!
Oh, before that, I'd better do something about these shards!
Oh, before that, I'd better do something about these shards!
Come on, calm down!
Come on, calm down!
First I have to clean up the shards, then treat this wound and...
First I have to clean up the shards, then treat this wound and...
Get lost! I'm too busy right now!
Get lost! I'm too busy right now!
First of all, I'm a NEET!
I'm a NEET, you know!
Why would a NEET randomly make an appearance anyway?
It's gonna take more than that to get a NEET to open his front—
Wait, is it a light bill collector?
Wait, is it a light bill collector?
Damn, I haven't sent them money for a while.
Damn, I haven't sent them money for a while.
If they turn off my electricity,
If they turn off my electricity,
I won't be able to live my NEET life comfortably anymore!
I won't be able to live my NEET life comfortably anymore!
That's a big problem!
That's a big problem!
Y-Yes!
Y-Yes!
Jeez, I know they heard me!
Jeez, I know they heard me!