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September 9, 2011
August 27, 2015
Your “Concern” is Not My Problem
Keep Your Concern to Yourself
Reader Sara told me about some dishes on sale by a company called Interventionware. One of the plates says “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this / Did you really need that second helping? / Please stop eating, we’re worried about you / For the love of God, stop eating.”
Reader Sara told me about some food-shaming dishes. One of the plates says “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this / Did you really need that second helping? / Please stop eating, we’re worried about you / For the love of God, stop eating.”
Let’s start with my answers in order:
Let’s start with my answers in order:
1. See ya.
1. See ya.
2. No, but at this point if I stop eating with this fork I’m going to stab you with it so bring on a third helping or get some gauze for compression.
2. No, but at this point if I stop eating with this fork I’m going to stab you with it so bring on a third helping or get some gauze for compression.
3. I can’t stop you from worrying but I can stop you from talking to me about it.
3. I can’t stop you from worrying but I can stop you from talking to me about it.
4. For the love of god mind your own business.
4. For the love of god mind your own business.
Per the company’s Twitter “These plates are not to be taken seriously. Of course we never mean to offend!” Well, that’s a big fat failure Interventions. Maybe the people who designed the plate aren’t aware that this is the kind of crap that fat people have to hear. We’ve already talked about the idiocy that is the “Do you need to eat that” question. But of course it goes beyond that.
We’ve already talked about the total bullshit that is the “Do you need to eat that” question. But of course it goes beyond that.
I’ve had people in comments suggest that it’s their moral obligation to tell fat people that they need to lose weight, exercise more, or that if someone sees a fat child they need to say something to the caregiver. I’ve been part of any number of conversations where people who had no business or permission to talk to me about my weight did so. I recently asked some friends on facebook who had spoken to them about their weight inappropriate. The answers included:
I’ve heard people suggest that it’s their moral obligation to tell fat people that we “need to lose weight”, exercise more, or that if someone sees a fat child they need to say something to the caregiver. I’ve been part of any number of conversations where people who had no business or permission to talk to me about my weight did so. I asked some friends on Facebook who had spoken to them about their weight inappropriate. The answers included:
Strangers, Dermatologist, Psychic, Coworker, Father, Sister, Gynecologist, Cop (while giving a speeding ticket), Grocery Store Checker, Dentist, Restaurant Owner, Airport Staffer, MY MOTHER (emphasis by the original author), Grandmother, Girl Scout Leaders, ER Doctor, Coworkers, Waiters/Waitresses, Gym teacher, Nutrition Professor, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig Employees (when I wasn’t enrolled in services), Softball Coach, Friend’s Parents, ROTC Leaders, Bagel Shop Employee, Other Kids Parents, Palm Reader, Obstetrician, Anesthesiologist, Photography Professor, Dermatologist, Chiropractor, Boss, Boyfriend’s Family, Dress Shop Employee, Massage Therapist.
Strangers, Dermatologist, Psychic, Coworker, Father, Sister, Gynecologist, Cop (while giving a speeding ticket), Grocery Store Checker, Dentist, Restaurant Owner, Airport Staffer, MY MOTHER (emphasis by the original author), Grandmother, Girl Scout Leaders, ER Doctor, Coworkers, Waiters/Waitresses, Gym teacher, Nutrition Professor, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig Employees (when I wasn’t enrolled in services), Softball Coach, Friend’s Parents, ROTC Leaders, Bagel Shop Employee, Other Kids Parents, Palm Reader, Obstetrician, Anesthesiologist, Photography Professor, Dermatologist, Chiropractor, Boss, Boyfriend’s Family, Dress Shop Employee, Massage Therapist.
Whoa. That’s a lot of people who think that it’s their right to say something to us about our bodies.
Whoa. That’s a lot of people who think that it’s their right to say something to us about our bodies.
I won’t speak for everyone but for me, the response to this is: No. No no no no no no no. No. First of all, how much of an idiot do you have to be to talk to me as if I’ve never heard that I should lose weight. Do you ever watch TV commercials? Listen to the radio? Look the hell around? By my count I get about 386,170 messages a year that my body is wrong. I’ve been fat for at least 25 of my 34 years so that’s 9,654,250 times that I’ve been told that my body is wrong. If I was going to buy into that bullshit I would have done it already. So how about you trust me when I tell you that the Nine million, six hundred fifty four thousand, two hundred fifty first time is NOT the charm.
I won’t speak for anyone but me, but my response to this is No. No no no. World of no. Galaxy of no. Universe of no. No. First of all, how grossly over-exaggerated does your sense of self-importance have to be, and how big of a rock do you have to live under to talk to me as if I’ve never heard the opinion that I should lose weight. Do you think I never see TV commercials? Listen to the radio? Look the hell around? By my count I get about 386,170 messages a year that my body is wrong. So how about you trust me when I tell you that the three hundred eighty six thousand, one hundred seventy first time is NOT the charm.
I think that when someone feels this strong of a need to “save a fatty”, it’s often really much more about their own ego than the person they are supposedly so concerned about. Like an ambitious relief pitcher, they want to get credit for the save. I call this “Pulling a Jillian” as in Jillian Michaels, ego maniac from The Biggest Loser, who can’t stop talking about how she’s saving lives and she’s making people healthy, she’s doing this and she’s doing that blah blah blah. Newsflash Jillian, if you really cared about people we would be hearing a whole lot less about you.
I think that when someone feels this strong of a need to “save a fatty”, it’s often really much more about their own ego than the person they are supposedly so concerned about. Like an ambitious relief pitcher, they want to get credit for the save. I call this “Pulling a Jillian” as in Jillian Michaels, ego maniac from The Biggest Loser, who can’t stop talking about how she’s saving lives and she’s making people healthy, she’s doing this and she’s doing that blah blah blah. Newsflash Jillian, if you really cared about people we would be hearing a whole lot less about you.
I am a grown ass woman making choices. That is my right. Just like other people get to make choices for themselves. You can decide that your path to health is a raw foods diet, vegan, vegetarian, liquid diet, or milk and potatoes. I don’t get to decide how you live, it’s not my business. I get to make choices for my body and you have no right to question those choices. (And if you’re even thinking about making a “but my tax dollars pay for fatties” argument, head over here.)
I am a grown ass woman making choices. That is my right. Just like other people get to make choices for themselves. You can decide that you want to eat a raw foods diet or fast food every day or anything in between. I don’t get to decide how you live, it’s not my business. I get to make choices for my body and you have no right to question those choices. (And if you’re even thinking about making a “but my tax dollars pay for fatties” argument, head over here.)
The bottom line here is very simple: This is not a tree and I am not a kitten so you can put your ladder away. Thank you.
You are allowed to be concerned about whatever you want, you are not allowed to share your concern with me unless I ask. The bottom line here is very simple: This is not a tree and I am not a kitten, so you can put your ladder away.