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Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (2019) - S00E05 - CR vs. RoS

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RoS

Did you hear?

Apparently at Mid Jump, sexual content is okay if it doesn’t go on for more than four pages.

What? That sounds obscene.

Right. It is obscene.

The cover for that magazine is obscene, as well.

Agreed. It is obscene, isn’t it?

While we’ve been focused on the culture festival,

the rest of the world has gone into Christmas-mode.

All these couples using Christmas Eve as a pretext for hooking up...

No vacancies at any of the love hotels.

At the end of the day, our world revolves around sex!

Awful! Awful! So obscene!

They all have nothing but indecent thoughts on their minds!

And then... And then...

Indecent thoughts, huh?

What was that kiss, then?

There were...

And then, and then!

all these tiny balloons everywhere!

All these tiny balloons just went alllllll over the place!

It was gorgeous beyond belief!

And it was so, sooo pretty!

And then, President told me to apply to Stanford!

That is, he ordered me to join him in the U.S.!

That is, he asked me to come to America with him!

Stanford?

I know! What was he thinking?

But the way he said it with that blush on his face was just so adorable!

I said yes in spite of myself!

And in spite of myself, I kissed him!

Did you know, Hayasaka?

When you kiss someone you like, it can’t be a regular kiss!

When you kiss the person you like, it can’t just be a regular kiss.

Class is now in session!

Here’s a quick lesson.

You place your lips together like so.

You put your mouths together, and then...

The grown-up way is to slip your tongue in.

for adults, it’s appropriate to do this.

Miss Kashiwagi and her boyfriend actually...

I mean, Kashiwagi-san and her boyfriend also...

So, you didn’t know that, did you, Hayasaka?

I can’t believe you didn’t know about that, Hayasaka.

How cute.

Aren’t you just adorable?

Idi...

You...

Idiot!

You moron!

What?

With the culture festival over,

With the culture festival over, the student council goes back to normal life.

the student council goes back to normal life.

Good work.

But the scars still run deep.

Ishigami’s here!

Oh, Ishigami-kun’s here!

And Shirogane’s battle is far from over!

I let her know how I feel!

I even kissed her!

And it was a pretty intense one!

Meaning...

we can be considered boyfriend and girlfriend now?

But how pure was that kiss, really?

If I’d mismanaged the distance between us here...

What’s this, President? One kiss, and you’re acting like my boyfriend?

What’s this, President?

One kiss, and you’re acting like my boyfriend?

That kiss only happened because we were having a moment.

Surely you don’t think that a kiss makes us lovers now?

That’s exactly how a cherry boy’s mind would work.

How cute.

Aren’t you just adorable?

President, are you all right?

Uh, yeah, I’m fine.

Today, I’m going to set things straight with Shinomiya!

No matter what!

Here she comes!

Hey, Shinomiya...

Wait, what?

Doesn’t she seem different today?

Now that you mention it,

Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh...

she does look more childish than usual.

Oh! Little Kaguya!

Oh! Kaguya-chan!

- Little Kaguya? - Little Kaguya?

"Kaguya-chan"?!

Little Kaguya! Little Kaguya! Little Kaguya!

Kaguya-chan! Kaguya-chan! Kaguya-chan...

I didn’t think we’d get to see you this year!

Everyone! How lucky are we to get to see Little Kaguya?

Everyone! How lucky are we to get to see Kaguya-chan?

Wh-What the heck do you mean by "Little Kaguya"?

Wh-What the heck do you mean by "Kaguya-chan"?

Kaguya’s personality undergoes slight shifts depending on her mental state that day.

Kaguya-san’s personality undergoes slight shifts depending on her mental state that day.

You’re all aware of that, right?

Little Kaguya can only show up if she meets the most stringent conditions.

Kaguya-chan can only show up if she meets the most stringent conditions.

60% happy, 40% in denial and, on top of that, she has to be sleep-deprived.

Every single one of these boxes needs to be checked.

And only when her psychological balance hits that sweet spot does this rare Little Kaguya appear!

And only when her psychological balance hits that sweet spot does this rare Kaguya appear!

Rare Kaguya?

Even I’ve still only seen her three times!

How is this even possible?

That’s right!

The conditions had already been met the previous night!

A grown-up kiss!

In a nutshell, a dizzying array of kisses exist.

A kiss on the cheek or hand signifying affection.

A kiss on the lips indicating a close relationship.

And...

the more meaningful kind of kiss.

Isn’t this the way one normally kisses the one she loves?

It says so in the books I’ve read.

Even Miss Kashiwagi and her boyfriend...

Even Kashiwagi-san and her boyfriend...

Miss Kashiwagi?

Kashiwagi-san?

Yes?

Miss Kashiwagi...

Kashiwagi-san...

Is that how one typically goes about kissing another?

Huh? Um... Um-

That was a special kind of kiss you only give to the person you love!

So whatever you do, don’t kiss anyone else like that, okay?

Understood!

War criminal.

Such disinformation was pumped into Kaguya, a stranger to girl talk...

And she ends up doing just that.

That was your first-ever kiss?

You aren’t in a love scene in a Hollywood movie!

In other words, it’s a regular kiss, right?

Not by a long shot!

You shouldn’t be kissing like that on school grounds!

That’s something you should be doing in bed!

That kind of kiss...

practically amounts to having sex!

Se...

...x?

She managed to say it.

Wait!

What do you mean by "sex"?

What do you mean by "se...x"?

All I did was insert my tongue into his oral cavity!

That can’t possibly be sex!

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CR
Did you hear?
Apparently at Mid Jump, sexual content is okay if it doesn’t go on for more than four pages.
What? That sounds obscene.
Right. It is obscene.
The cover for that magazine is obscene, as well.
Agreed. It is obscene, isn’t it?
While we’ve been focused on the culture festival,
the rest of the world has gone into Christmas-mode.
All these couples using Christmas Eve as a pretext for hooking up...
No vacancies at any of the love hotels.
At the end of the day, our world revolves around sex!
Awful! Awful! So obscene!
They all have nothing but indecent thoughts on their minds!
And then... And then...
Indecent thoughts, huh?
What was that kiss, then?
There were...
all these tiny balloons everywhere!
It was gorgeous beyond belief!
And then, President told me to apply to Stanford!
That is, he ordered me to join him in the U.S.!
Stanford?
I know! What was he thinking?
But the way he said it with that blush on his face was just so adorable!
I said yes in spite of myself!
And in spite of myself, I kissed him!
Did you know, Hayasaka?
When you kiss someone you like, it can’t be a regular kiss!
Class is now in session!
You place your lips together like so.
The grown-up way is to slip your tongue in.
Miss Kashiwagi and her boyfriend actually...
So, you didn’t know that, did you, Hayasaka?
How cute.
Idi...
Idiot!
What?
With the culture festival over, the student council goes back to normal life.
Good work.
But the scars still run deep.
Ishigami’s here!
And Shirogane’s battle is far from over!
I let her know how I feel!
I even kissed her!
And it was a pretty intense one!
Meaning...
we can be considered boyfriend and girlfriend now?
But how pure was that kiss, really?
If I’d mismanaged the distance between us here...
What’s this, President? One kiss, and you’re acting like my boyfriend?
That kiss only happened because we were having a moment.
Surely you don’t think that a kiss makes us lovers now?
That’s exactly how a cherry boy’s mind would work.
How cute.
President, are you all right?
Uh, yeah, I’m fine.
Today, I’m going to set things straight with Shinomiya!
No matter what!
Here she comes!
Hey, Shinomiya...
Wait, what?
Doesn’t she seem different today?
Now that you mention it,
Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh... Oh...
she does look more childish than usual.
Oh! Little Kaguya!
- Little Kaguya? - Little Kaguya?
Little Kaguya! Little Kaguya! Little Kaguya!
I didn’t think we’d get to see you this year!
Everyone! How lucky are we to get to see Little Kaguya?
Wh-What the heck do you mean by "Little Kaguya"?
Kaguya’s personality undergoes slight shifts depending on her mental state that day.
You’re all aware of that, right?
Little Kaguya can only show up if she meets the most stringent conditions.
60% happy, 40% in denial and, on top of that, she has to be sleep-deprived.
Every single one of these boxes needs to be checked.
And only when her psychological balance hits that sweet spot does this rare Little Kaguya appear!
Rare Kaguya?
Even I’ve still only seen her three times!
How is this even possible?
That’s right!
The conditions had already been met the previous night!
A grown-up kiss!
In a nutshell, a dizzying array of kisses exist.
A kiss on the cheek or hand signifying affection.
A kiss on the lips indicating a close relationship.
And...
the more meaningful kind of kiss.
Isn’t this the way one normally kisses the one she loves?
It says so in the books I’ve read.
Even Miss Kashiwagi and her boyfriend...
Miss Kashiwagi?
Yes?
Miss Kashiwagi...
Is that how one typically goes about kissing another?
Huh? Um... Um-
That was a special kind of kiss you only give to the person you love!
So whatever you do, don’t kiss anyone else like that, okay?
Understood!
War criminal.
Such disinformation was pumped into Kaguya, a stranger to girl talk...
And she ends up doing just that.
That was your first-ever kiss?
You aren’t in a love scene in a Hollywood movie!
In other words, it’s a regular kiss, right?
Not by a long shot!
You shouldn’t be kissing like that on school grounds!
That’s something you should be doing in bed!
That kind of kiss...
practically amounts to having sex!
Se...
...x?
She managed to say it.
Wait!
What do you mean by "sex"?
All I did was insert my tongue into his oral cavity!
That can’t possibly be sex!
It’s totally sex.
It’s something you do in the process of having sex.
Stop repeating the word "sex"!
You’ve been repeating it yourself, Lady Kaguya!
Well, Christmas is around the corner.
Since you’ve gotten this far already,
it will be a breeze to take it to the next level and have sex.
Good for you.
Wait! Why on earth would you go there?
Don’t people normally wait at least a month or two after their first kiss to engage in that sort of thing?
It’s a different story if you’ve already gone that far with your first kiss!
I’m just not getting through to you.
This is why children like you who’ve never been kissed...
You’re thinking of something unbelievably infuriating right now, aren’t you?
I’m getting nowhere with this!
Let me ask someone with experience about what to actually expect!
Hello? Kaguya? What a surprise!
Is something wrong?
I’d like to ask you something, Miss Kashiwagi.
What is it? Ask me anything!
Well, you see...
About how long did you wait to have sex after your first kiss?
I-I’ll have you know, Tsubasa and I have never done anything so indec-
Please don’t ridicule me!
I couldn’t be more serious than I am now!
What?
This is a serious conversation?
After that first kiss,
maybe two months.
Of course! You’d wait at least that long, right?
Then, how long after a grown-up kiss?
About 40 seconds.
Seconds?
Are you finally starting to see the light, Lady Kaguya?
Just acknowledge it!
That because your first kiss was a deep dive,
chances are that President sees you as a super-nympho lust monster!
A super-nympho lust monster?
How...
How can I possibly look him in the eye tomorrow?
In an abrupt about-face after that Ultra Romantic night,
the point that Hayasaka brought up has caused her to spend a night of agony!
And sleep-deprivation ensues!
Kaguya’s brain plunges even further into the depths of malfunction!
Resulting in two straight days of zero IQ!
Intellectually, it’s Black Monday!
And...
Rare Kaguya?
Descent.
This is a hundred times better than her being scary, so I accept it!
Whaaaaat?
Damn! Today of all days, I really wanted to talk to Shinomiya!
In this state, I can’t even get through to her!
This is bad!
Wh-Wh-What is it, Shinomiya?
Pwesident, good morning!
Actually, maybe it’s perfect.
Who is this adorable creature?
Needless to say, she’s in a super-deformed state.
This is how she appears to everyone.
Tell me, how old are you, Little Kaguya?
Um... Um... Seventeen?
Seventeen, huh? What a sweetheart!
Did you know? If you’re 17, then next year, you’ll be an adult!
It’s not a good look to take advantage of someone when they’re vulnerable, Ishigami. So cut it out.
Oh!
So cuddly and fluffy! I want to display you at my house!
Ouch!
Hey! You can’t hit people, you bad girl!
We just caught a glimpse of Shinomiya’s inner psyche, right?
Can’t you see she doesn’t like that?
Just let her go, okay?
Oh, she’s totally fine!
Little Kaguya loves me the best, don’t you?
Go on, show us who your favorites are in order!
Number one.
Huh?
Number two.
Huh?
Number three.
What are you talking about?
Don’t ask me, but I think she just went with the flow there.
Here.
What?
You’re giving me a snack?
Thanks!
Here.
Hey, thanks!
Here.
You’re giving me one, too?
Oh...
Sniff!
I’ll run out and get some candy!
We’re going at top speed, so hang on, okay?
Listen, Shinomiya, about yesterday...
Pwesident...
You’re breathing!
We’re the same!
It’s no good. We can’t talk like this.
Right now, it seems like Shinomiya’s brain is the size of an orange.
She’s probably seeing a different world than I am.
Come to think of it, I’ve heard that if the gap between your IQ is 20 or so,
there’s no way you can hold a conversation.
In that case...
Chinomiya!
Pwesident?
Chinomiya, let’s talk!
Okay! Let’s!
What should we talk about?
Anything you want!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident! Pwesident!
They’re holding a conversation, and it’s scarily devoid of substance.
I’m sorry I’m late-
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya! Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident! Pwesident! Pwesident!
Aren’t you both too old to be doing whatever this is?
Super-deformed is just super-deformed.
Three days until Christmas Eve!
Having shared a grown-up kiss,
these two are about to see the curtain go up on this year’s final romantic battle of minds!
For Hayasaka, it was the morning from hell.
Little Kaguya’s fast asleep, huh?
I’m not surprised.
The culture festival must’ve worn her out.
Let’s let her get some real rest.
Hey, almost forgot. I brought this week’s Mid Jump.
Great! Thank you!
That’s lewd material you have there. I’m confiscating it.
Where’d you come from, Iino?
Look, Iino...
can you at least wait until President finishes it?
Negative! The rules are the rules!
You only have yourself to blame for bringing in contraband!
It’s the same old, same old, huh?
Makes you wonder if it’s going to be like this until we graduate.
We’re going to be at each other’s throats until the end.
I have no idea why...
but whenever you do something to me, I can’t rest until I get back at you.
What?
If you promise never to bring anything like this again,
I’ll let you have your book back.
Just keep your word on that, and the odds of us getting along might be...
more than...
zero.
That’s not going to happen. I’m so going to bring another one next week.
How do you not see that it’s your own fault?
Seriously? What’s going on here?
Are you stupid? Are you?
An old-school brawl?
Ouch! I’ll bring it, no matter what!
Ts-Tsubame!
Don’t mind us, please. We’re always like this.
After I made such a huge concession...
Well, if you say so.
Oh, right! There’s something I wanted to ask you, Yu.
What is it?
Do you think you’ll be free on Christmas Eve?
What is this? No way!
U-Um, if you don’t feel like it, you can totally say no, okay?
Wanna come over that day?
I’ll be there!
Yay!
Whoa, Tsubame’s house? On Christmas?
In Tsubame’s room?
That’s beyond perverted!
Oh! It’s not like that! I was planning to invite you, too, Iino!
For a threesome?
No! I’ll be inviting a lot of people! I’m going to throw a party!
It’s an orgy!
Shut up, you clueless Disciplinary Committee member!
How do you not get that she’s talking about a Christmas party?
O-O-Oh!
Oh, sorry. That just never crossed my mind when I said it.
Hey, if Iino wasn’t around, I totally would’ve gotten the wrong idea, too.
I’m inviting the Cheerleading Squad and the Culture Festival Committee.
Rei says she’ll be coming, too!
Rei?
Tsubame!
All right, I’m in the middle of an errand here...
so let me know if you’re coming!
Hey, Ishigami...
Are you free on Christmas Eve?
Wanna come over that day?
Oh, are you having a Christmas party?
I’m surprised you made the connection.
So, let’s have a Christmas party for everyone in the student council! I’ll provide my home as the venue!
You’ll come, too, won’t you, Kaguya?
That’s a yes!
Isn’t she just moaning in her sleep?
You won’t have to spend another lonely Eve all by yourself this year, Ishigami!
Thanks to Chika, your brilliant event planner-
Hey, sorry, Senpai...
but on Christmas Eve,
I’ve got plans.
It’s kind of a shame that your howls of laughter will go to waste, but it’s the truth.
It really is true. Tsubame just invited Ishigami and me.
What?
You can’t possibly turn down an invitation from Tsubame, can you, Ishigami?
Huh? Why couldn’t I, if it’s her?
Everyone here is aware that you have a crush on Tsubame.
Yeah.
Well, yes.
No way!
Since when?
Maybe around the sports festival?
No way!
So...
which party are you going to, Iino?
Well, I know you think I’d be a thorn in your side. So I guess I’ll...
Huh? I don’t think that.
Is... that right?
Huh?
I have to give him my answer three months from now, huh?
If no one’s claimed it in three months, huh?
Not that I really want it.
Christmas, huh?
I wonder what Shinomiya’s going to do.
The second battle of minds inside her own brain and the trial begin!
Not only did the defendant steal a kiss from Miyuki Shirogane without warning,
but she even inserted her tongue, of all things.
She is therefore charged with the crime proscribed in article 174 of our personal penal code...
The Grown-Up Kiss Offensive.
In addition, the defendant is deemed a flight risk who may flee the country.
Therefore, the prosecution seeks the death penalty for the defendant.
Death penalty?
No objections.
My own lawyer won’t even defend me?
Pwesident is in the student council room... Wow, it’s perfect!
Uttering gibberish in front of President...
Number one...
S-Saying he was your number one!
I don’t remember.
Well, what a convenient mind you have!
Well, why is it such a big deal?
President used all those balloons to let me know how he feels!
What’s wrong with that?
W-Well, you do have a point, but-
How ludicrous.
Why are you letting mere balloons rattle you?
You’re not looking like yourself, either!
My internal breakers broke, too.
All right.
Playtime is over.
You’ve been summoned today so that we can decide what to do going forward.
This is a crucial decision that will determine our future.
There are three issues under discussion.
Let us resolve them one by one.
First of all...
our relationship with President.
Come on, we’ve got to be lovers now! I mean, we’ve kissed!
R-Right, we are, aren’t we?
Don’t be ridiculous.
If kissing makes you lovers, then sex workers would be lovers with everyone.
I have to agree.
Although our feelings are undeniably mutual, we’ve never been vocal about them.
If we’re to take it to the next level, we should say so directly.
Then regarding Number 1, our conclusion must be...
Next, let’s discuss studying abroad!
Well, President did say it was a once-in-a-lifetime wish!
I’m so going!
Yes.
Are you serious?
Huuuh?
You don’t seriously believe you’ll be allowed to do such a thing, do you?
How do you plan to talk Father into it?
Well...
Consider it a blessing that you’ve been able to distance yourself from him.
You must refrain at all costs from doing anything that would awaken the sleeping tiger.
But I already told him I’d go.
Keeping your promises, no matter what.
You need something in your life that you can have absolute faith in.
Isn’t that the policy you live by?
Do whatever you want. However...
when you fail, it might be the last time I ever see your face.
And finally, regarding that grown-up kiss...
what are we going to do about it?
Seriously, what are we going to do? Well?
President might be thinking that I’m a super-nympho lust monster!
I mean it, what are we going to do?
All you have to do is explain yourself.
That you just misread the situation.
But that would be embarrassing!
I think it would be better to take the stance of a grown-up woman!
What a ludicrous conversation.
That’s why you never should’ve kissed him.
In the first place, a kiss is something that the man should seek.
A woman going for a kiss... How disgraceful is that!
I think you’re being sexist!
She’s right! Who decided that a woman can’t kiss first?
You have no clue, do you?
I’d rather have a kiss stolen from me, not the other way around!
Huh?
What? But why?
Because it would make my heart pound harder that way!
We all have different fetishes!
Kissing impulsively... We’re not beasts in the wild!
Would it kill you to learn a little restraint?
It’s only natural to want to kiss someone you’re in love with!
That’s right! If you really love someone, there’s just no holding back!
You can say stuff like that because you’re not in love with President, Ice!
Me...
not in love with...
Miyuki Shirogane?
You happy-go-lucky insurgents...
You can’t see the forest for the trees because you put your own feelings first!
You have no idea how much I’ve held back!
How I’ve continued to hold back all this time!
It was none other than I who first fell in love with Miyuki Shirogane!
More than you two ever have!
I’m also the one who’s the most serious about my future with him!
Here I am, racking my brain to find a way to make him mine,
yet you both keep doing as you please!
How arrogant of you, you Kaguya-come-latelys!
Hey, hold up.
Don’t argue with yourself. It’s just sad.
Right! In the first place, it doesn’t matter who fell in love with him first!
I mean, aren’t you even happy that President kissed you?
Oh, would you shut up?
It’s like your brains are in la-la land, you morons!
Don’t you dare lecture me!
I’ve been longing all this time for President to kiss me!
So, what were you thinking?
Go die and rot in hell!
For once in your lives, consider my feelings, too!
Oh, this isn’t good.
Are you sure you want to conceal the real you?
Are you awake, Shinomiya?
Morning.
Yes.
It seems I’ve been fast asleep for a while.
Huh?
Good morning, Shirogane.
I’d appreciate a cup of coffee, please.

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RoS
Did you hear?
Apparently at Mid Jump, sexual content is okay if it doesn’t go on for more than four pages.
What? That sounds obscene.
Right. It is obscene.
The cover for that magazine is obscene, as well.
Agreed. It is obscene, isn’t it?
While we’ve been focused on the culture festival,
the rest of the world has gone into Christmas-mode.
All these couples using Christmas Eve as a pretext for hooking up...
No vacancies at any of the love hotels.
At the end of the day, our world revolves around sex!
Awful! Awful! So obscene!
They all have nothing but indecent thoughts on their minds!
And then... And then...
Indecent thoughts, huh?
What was that kiss, then?
And then, and then!
All these tiny balloons just went alllllll over the place!
And it was so, sooo pretty!
And then, President told me to apply to Stanford!
That is, he asked me to come to America with him!
Stanford?
I know! What was he thinking?
But the way he said it with that blush on his face was just so adorable!
I said yes in spite of myself!
And in spite of myself, I kissed him!
Did you know, Hayasaka?
When you kiss the person you like, it can’t just be a regular kiss.
Here’s a quick lesson.
You put your mouths together, and then...
for adults, it’s appropriate to do this.
I mean, Kashiwagi-san and her boyfriend also...
I can’t believe you didn’t know about that, Hayasaka.
Aren’t you just adorable?
You...
You moron!
With the culture festival over,
the student council goes back to normal life.
Good work.
But the scars still run deep.
Oh, Ishigami-kun’s here!
And Shirogane’s battle is far from over!
I let her know how I feel!
I even kissed her!
And it was a pretty intense one!
Meaning...
we can be considered boyfriend and girlfriend now?
But how pure was that kiss, really?
If I’d mismanaged the distance between us here...
What’s this, President?
One kiss, and you’re acting like my boyfriend?
That kiss only happened because we were having a moment.
Surely you don’t think that a kiss makes us lovers now?
That’s exactly how a cherry boy’s mind would work.
Aren’t you just adorable?
President, are you all right?
Uh, yeah, I’m fine.
Today, I’m going to set things straight with Shinomiya!
No matter what!
Here she comes!
Hey, Shinomiya...
Wait, what?
Doesn’t she seem different today?
Now that you mention it,
she does look more childish than usual.
Oh! Kaguya-chan!
"Kaguya-chan"?!
Kaguya-chan! Kaguya-chan! Kaguya-chan...
I didn’t think we’d get to see you this year!
Everyone! How lucky are we to get to see Kaguya-chan?
Wh-What the heck do you mean by "Kaguya-chan"?
Kaguya-san’s personality undergoes slight shifts depending on her mental state that day.
You’re all aware of that, right?
Kaguya-chan can only show up if she meets the most stringent conditions.
60% happy, 40% in denial and, on top of that, she has to be sleep-deprived.
Every single one of these boxes needs to be checked.
And only when her psychological balance hits that sweet spot does this rare Kaguya appear!
Rare Kaguya?
Even I’ve still only seen her three times!
How is this even possible?
That’s right!
The conditions had already been met the previous night!
A grown-up kiss!
In a nutshell, a dizzying array of kisses exist.
A kiss on the cheek or hand signifying affection.
A kiss on the lips indicating a close relationship.
And...
the more meaningful kind of kiss.
Isn’t this the way one normally kisses the one she loves?
It says so in the books I’ve read.
Even Kashiwagi-san and her boyfriend...
Kashiwagi-san?
Yes?
Kashiwagi-san...
Is that how one typically goes about kissing another?
Huh? Um... Um-
That was a special kind of kiss you only give to the person you love!
So whatever you do, don’t kiss anyone else like that, okay?
Understood!
War criminal.
Such disinformation was pumped into Kaguya, a stranger to girl talk...
And she ends up doing just that.
That was your first-ever kiss?
You aren’t in a love scene in a Hollywood movie!
In other words, it’s a regular kiss, right?
Not by a long shot!
You shouldn’t be kissing like that on school grounds!
That’s something you should be doing in bed!
That kind of kiss...
practically amounts to having sex!
Se...
...x?
She managed to say it.
Wait!
What do you mean by "se...x"?
All I did was insert my tongue into his oral cavity!
That can’t possibly be sex!
It’s totally sex.
It’s something you do in the process of having sex.
Stop repeating the word "sex"!
You’ve been repeating it yourself, Kaguya-sama!
Well, Christmas is around the corner.
Since you’ve gotten this far already,
it will be a breeze to take it to the next level and have sex.
Good for you.
Wait! Why on earth would you go there?
Don’t people normally wait at least a month or two after their first kiss to engage in that sort of thing?
It’s a different story if you’ve already gone that far with your first kiss!
I’m just not getting through to you.
This is why children like you who’ve never been kissed...
You’re thinking of something unbelievably infuriating right now, aren’t you?
I’m getting nowhere with this!
Let me ask someone with experience about what to actually expect!
Hello? Kaguya-chan? What a surprise!
Is something wrong?
I’d like to ask you something, Kashiwagi-san.
What is it? Ask me anything!
Well, you see...
About how long did you wait to have sex after your first kiss?
I-I’ll have you know, Tsubasa and I have never done anything so indec-
Please don’t ridicule me!
I couldn’t be more serious than I am now!
What?
This is a serious conversation?
After that first kiss,
maybe two months.
Of course! You’d wait at least that long, right?
Then, how long after a grown-up kiss?
About 40 seconds.
Seconds?
Are you finally starting to see the light, Kaguya-sama?
Just acknowledge it!
That because your first kiss was a deep dive,
chances are that President sees you as a super-nympho lust monster!
A super-nympho lust monster?!
How...
How can I possibly look him in the eye tomorrow?
In an abrupt about-face after that Ultra Romantic night,
the point that Hayasaka brought up has caused her to spend a night of agony!
And sleep-deprivation ensues!
Kaguya’s brain plunges even further into the depths of malfunction!
Resulting in two straight days of zero IQ!
Intellectually, it’s Black Monday!
And...
Rare Kaguya?
Descent.
This is a hundred times better than her being scary, so I accept it!
Whaaaaat?
Damn!
Today of all days, I really wanted to talk to Shinomiya!
In this state, I can’t even get through to her!
This is bad!
Wh-What is it, Shinomiya?
Pwesident, good morning!
Actually, maybe it’s perfect.
Who is this adorable creature?
Needless to say, she’s in a super-deformed state.
This is how she appears to everyone.
Tell me, how old are you, Kaguya-chan?
Um... Um... Seventeen?
Seventeen, huh? What a sweetheart!
Did you know?
If you’re 17, then next year, you’ll be an adult!
It’s not a good look to take advantage of someone when they’re vulnerable, Ishigami. So cut it out.
So cuddly and fluffy! I want to display you at my house!
Ouch!
Hey! You can’t hit people, you bad girl!
We just caught a glimpse of Shinomiya-senpai’s inner psyche, right?
Can’t you see she doesn’t like that?
Just let her go, okay?
Oh, she’s totally fine!
Kaguya-chan loves me the best, don’t you?
Go on, show us who your favorites are in order!
Number one.
Number two.
Number three.
What are you talking about?
Don’t ask me, but I think she just went with the flow there.
Here.
What?
You’re giving me a snack?
Thanks!
Here.
Thanks!
Here.
You’re giving me one, too?
I’ll run out and get some candy!
We’re going at top speed, so hang on, okay?
Listen, Shinomiya, about yesterday...
Pwesident, you’re breathing!
We’re the same!
It’s no good. We can’t talk like this.
Right now, it seems like Shinomiya’s brain is the size of a tangerine.
She’s probably seeing a different world than I am.
Come to think of it, I’ve heard that if the gap between your IQ is 20 or so, there’s no way you can hold a conversation.
In that case...
Chinomiya!
Pwesident?!
Chinomiya, let’s talk!
Okay! Let’s!
What should we talk about?
Anything you want!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident! Pwesident!
They’re holding a conversation, and it’s scarily devoid of substance.
I’m sorry I’m late-
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya!
Pwesident! Pwesident!
Chinomiya! Chinomiya...
Pwesident! Pwesident...
Chinomiya! Chinomiya...
Chinomiya! Chinomiya...
Pwesident! Pwesident...
Pwesident! Pwesident...
Aren’t you both too old to be doing whatever this is?
Super-deformed is just super-deformed.
Three days until Christmas Eve!
Having shared a grown-up kiss,
these two are about to see the curtain go up on this year’s final romantic battle of minds!
For Hayasaka it was the morning from hell.
Kaguya-chan’s fast asleep, huh?
Well...
The culture festival must’ve worn her out.
Let’s let her get some real rest.
Hey, almost forgot. I brought this week’s Mid Jump.
Great! Thank you!
That’s lewd material you have there.
I’m confiscating it.
Where’d you come from, Iino?
Hey...
Can you at least wait until President finishes it?
Negative! The rules are the rules!
You only have yourself to blame for bringing in contraband!
Still the same, huh?
Makes you wonder if it’s going to be like this until we graduate.
We’re going to be at each other’s throats until the end.
I have no idea why...
but whenever you do something to me, I can’t rest until I get back at you.
Eh?
If you promise never to bring anything like this again,
I’ll let you have your book back.
Just keep your word on that, and the odds of us getting along might be...
more than...
zero.
That’s not going to happen.
I’m so going to bring another one next week.
How do you not see that it’s your own fault?
Are you stupid? Are you?
Seriously, what’s going on here?
An old-school brawl?
T-Tsubame-senpai!
Don’t mind us, please. We’re always like this.
Well, if you say so.
Oh, right!
There’s something I wanted to ask you, Yuu-kun.
What is it?
Do you think you’ll be free on Christmas Eve?
What is this? No way!
U-Um, if you don’t feel like it, you can totally say no, okay?
Wanna come over that day?
I’ll be there!
Yay!
Whoa, Tsubame-senpai’s house? On Christmas?
In Tsubame-senpai’s room?
That’s beyond perverted!
E-Eh?!
Oh! It’s not like that!
I was planning to invite you, too, Iino-chan!
For a threesome?
No!
I’ll be inviting a lot of people! I’m going to throw a party!
It’s an orgy!
Shut up, you clueless Disciplinary Committee member!
How do you not get that she’s talking about a Christmas party?
O-O-Oh!
Oh, sorry.
That just never crossed my mind when I said it.
Hey, if Iino wasn’t around, I totally would’ve gotten the wrong idea, too.
I’m inviting the Cheerleading Squad and the Culture Festival Committee.
Rei says she’ll be coming, too!
Rei-chan?
Tsubame!
All right, I’m in the middle of an errand here...
So let me know if you’re coming!
Hey, Ishigami-kun...
Are you free on Christmas Eve?
Wanna come over that day?
Oh, are you having a Christmas party?
I’m surprised you made the connection.
So, let’s have a Christmas party for everyone in the student council!
You’ll come, too, won’t you, Kaguya-san?
That’s a yes!
Isn’t she just moaning in her sleep?
You won’t have to spend another lonely Eve all by yourself this year, Ishigami-kun!
Thanks to Chika, your brilliant event planner-
Hey, sorry, Senpai...
but on Christmas Eve,
I’ve got plans.
It’s kind of a shame that your howls of laughter will go to waste, but it’s the truth.
It really is true.
Tsubame-senpai just invited Ishigami and me.
What?!
You can’t possibly turn down an invitation from Tsubame-senpai, can you, Ishigami-kun?
Huh? Why couldn’t I, if it’s her?
Everyone here is aware that you have a crush on Tsubame-senpai.
Yeah.
Well, yes.
No way!
Since when?
Maybe around the sports festival?
No wa-ay!
So...
Which party are you going to, Iino?
Well, I know you think I’d be a thorn in your side.
So I guess I’ll...
Huh?
I don’t think that.
Is... that right?
Huh?
I have to give him my answer three months from now, huh?
If no one’s claimed it in three months, huh?
Not that I really want it.
Christmas, huh?
I wonder what Shinomiya’s going to do.
The Second Battle of (Internal) Wits! Court is in session!
Not only did the defendant steal a kiss from Shirogane Miyuki without warning,
but she even inserted her tongue, of all things.
She is therefore charged with the crime proscribed in article 174 of our personal penal code...
The Grown-Up Kiss Offensive.
In addition, the defendant is deemed a flight risk who may flee the country.
Therefore, the prosecution seeks the death penalty for the defendant.
Death penalty?
No objections.
My own lawyer won’t even defend me?
Pwesident is in the student council room... Wow, it’s perfect!
Uttering gibberish in front of President...
Number one...
S-Saying he was your number one!
I don’t remember.
Well, what a convenient mind you have!
Well, why is it such a big deal?
President used all those balloons to let me know how he feels!
What’s wrong with that?
W-Well, you do have a point, but-
How ludicrous.
Why are you letting mere balloons rattle you?
You’re not looking like yourself, either!
My internal breakers broke, too.
All right.
Playtime is over.
You’ve been summoned today so that we can decide what to do going forward.
This is a crucial decision that will determine our future.
Let us resolve them one by one.
First of all...
Our relationship with President.
Come on, we’ve got to be lovers now! I mean, we’ve kissed!
R-Right, we are, aren’t we?
How utterly ridiculous.
If kissing makes you lovers, then sex workers would be lovers with everyone.
I have to agree.
Although our feelings are undeniably mutual, we’ve never been vocal about them.
If we’re to take it to the next level, we should say so directly.
Then regarding Number 1, our conclusion must be...
Next, let’s discuss studying abroad!
Well, President did say it was a once-in-a-lifetime wish!
I’m so going!
Yes.
Are you serious?
You don’t seriously believe you’ll be allowed to do such a thing, do you?
How do you plan to talk Father into it?
Well...
Consider it a blessing that you’ve been able to distance yourself from him.
You must refrain at all costs from doing anything that would awaken the sleeping tiger.
But I already told him I’d go.
"Keeping your promises, no matter what."
"You need something in your life that you can have absolute faith in."
Isn’t that the policy you live by?
Do whatever you want. However...
When you fail, it might be the last time I ever see your face.
And finally...
Regarding that grown-up kiss...
What are we going to do about it?
Seriously, what are we going to do? Well?
President might be thinking that I’m a super-nympho lust monster!
I mean it, what are we going to do?
All you have to do is explain yourself.
That you just misread the situation.
But that would be embarrassing!
I think it would be better to take the stance of a grown-up woman!
What a ludicrous conversation.
That’s why you never should’ve kissed him.
In the first place, a kiss is something that the man should seek.
A woman going for a kiss... How disgraceful is that!
I think you’re being sexist!
She’s right! Who decided that a woman can’t kiss first?
You have no clue, do you?
I’d rather have a kiss stolen from me, not the other way around!
What? But why?
Because it would make my heart pound harder that way!
We all have different fetishes!
Kissing impulsively... We’re not beasts in the wild!
Would it kill you to learn a little restraint?
It’s only natural to want to kiss someone you’re in love with!
That’s right!
If you really love someone, there’s just no holding back!
You can say stuff like that because you’re not in love with President, Ice-chan!
Me...
not in love with...
Shirogane Miyuki?
You happy-go-lucky insurgents...
You can’t see the forest for the trees because you put your own feelings first!
You have no idea how much I’ve held back!
How I’ve continued to hold back all this time!
It was none other than I who first fell in love with Shirogane Miyuki!
More than you two ever have!
I’m also the one who’s the most serious about my future with him!
Here I am, racking my brain to find a way to make him mine,
yet you both keep doing as you please!
How arrogant of you, you Kaguya-come-latelys!
Hey, hold up.
Don’t argue with yourself. It’s just sad.
Right! In the first place, it doesn’t matter who fell in love with him first!
I mean, aren’t you even happy that President kissed you?
Oh, would you shut up?
It’s like your brains are in la-la land, you morons!
Don’t you dare lecture me!
I’ve been longing all this time for President to kiss me!
So, what were you thinking?
Go die and rot in hell!
For once in your lives, consider my feelings, too!
Oh, this isn’t good.
Are you sure you want to conceal the real you?
Are you awake, Shinomiya?
Morning...
Yes.
It seems I’ve been fast asleep for a while.
Huh?
Good morning, Shirogane-san.
I’d appreciate a cup of coffee, please.