No-Rin - S01E01 - ChihiroDesuYo vs FFF
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# ChihiroDesuYo
# FFF
Thank you, everyone!
Thank you, everyone!
Thank you very, very much!
Thank you so, so much!
I'm the happiest girl in the world right now!
I'm the happiest girl in the world right now!
You're the cutest girl in the universe!
You're the cutest girl in the universe!
Yukatan!
Yuka-tan!
Yukatan!
Yuka-tan!
There's someone I want to introduce to everyone today.
There's someone I'd like you to meet today.
He makes me the happiest girl in the universe.
This is the person who will make me the happiest girl in the universe.
I love—
I lo—
I love you...
I love you...
Yeah, thought so.
Figures.
Good grief...
Unbelievable.
Sleeping in because you were dreaming about an idol?
Oversleepin' on account of dreamin' of idols.
Don't you pity yourself?
Ain't you got nothin' better to live for?
I agree. Minori is right.
I concur.
Besides, Kousaku...
Minori's statement is most astute.
You're always going on about going to Tokyo,
And besides, Kousaku,
but what are you planning on doing there?
you're always flappin' yer gums about goin' to Tokyo,
I'm going to start a trendy farm.
but whadya reckon you'll even do there?
A trendy farm?
Trendy agriculture!
For a country boy like you, marrying someone from the same town
Trendy agriculture?!
and farming in the countryside would fit you.
A hick like you'd do better to get hitched with some hometown gal
No way!
and farm yer days away in the sticks.
I'm going to run a trendy farm with Yukatan.
Sounds like Purgatory!
I'll grow rice in Harajuku,
I'm gonna do trendy agriculture with Yuka-tan!
and raise cows in Roppongi.
We'll plant rice in Harajuku,
Besides, "marrying someone from the same town"?
and raise cattle in ol' Roppongi!
You're the only girl there who's the same age as me.
And please, a hometown gal?
Oh, is that so?
You're the only one my age!
I often forget that.
G-Golly, am I?
It done slipped my mind.
Kousaku, Minori.
Kousaku, Minori.
Stop messing around and focus on the work at hand.
Enough with the tomfoolery.
Oh, sorry.
Focus on your work.
Gah! I got scolded by Kei because of you.
Ah, sorry.
Don't blame me!
Numskull.
A runaway!
You done got us bawled out by Kei.
A cow escaped the cage!
It wasn't my fault!
Watch out, Sensei!
It's loose!
Mutsu-sensei from livestock is down!
A cow's escaped from the barn!
Sensei, watch out!
It got Mutsu-sensei from Husbandry!
Medic!
Medic!
Agehagou!
SS Ageha!
Not again.
Another one got out?
Wasn't it a peacock last time?
Last time was a peacock, warn't it?
It was Jun the goat.
It was the goat, Jun.
The peacock was before that.
You're thinking of the time before last.
All right, everyone! Let's get back to work.
All right, y'all. Let's get back to work.
Okay.
'Kay.
Hey.
Wait.
It's coming this way.
It's coming this way.
Really?!
Seriously?!
Don't let it on the plantation, no matter what!
Don't let it in the fields!
But how?
Easy for you to say!
Leave it to me!
Lemme at him!
Kakizaki went for it!
Kakizaki's going for it!
If it's Kakizaki who went to the nationals...
A national-level competitor like him should...
K-Kakizaki!
K-Kakizaki!
Is that cow from livestock a monster?
Are the Husbandry guys raising beef cattle or demons?
Wh-What should we do?
Dude! Wh-What do we do?!
Run with this.
Wave this and run.
When did I become a matador?!
What am I, a matador?!
D-Don't come after me!
Olé! Olé, goddamn it!
That was terrible.
FML...
You're the only one who worries about me, Wakadanna.
You're the only one who cares about me, Young Master!
Kousaku.
Kousaku.
Did you fill out the future directions survey?
Did you bring in your career aspirations survey?
Yeah.
You're going on to further studies, right?
I'm still considering my options, but I'm thinking I'll go into agriculture somewhere.
That's impressive.
I came here just because my parents are farmers.
What about you planning on doing, then?
I'm going to continue studying, too.
Oh?
What? Really?!
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you were serious about that trendy stuff?
You're continuing your studies, I assume?
The school I want to go to is...
I'm still weighing my options, but I've been looking at agricultural colleges.
Furikoshi Private High School!
You've sure got it together.
Wanting to go to another high school after already graduating must be unprecedented.
Hell, I'm only here 'cause my parents are farmers.
Stupid... You must be stupid.
In that case, what is your plan?
Why are you looking at me like that?!
Higher education, like you!
Kousaku.
Higher education?
You seriously love that idol, don't you?
That's what I said.
She's not just any idol!
Y-You warn't serious about that "trendy" stuff, were you?
Her name is Kusakabe Yukatan.
My dream school is none other
What's so special about her?
than Furikoshi Academy Private High School!
Her lovely, wide eyes.
Writing a high school on a high school's career survey is novel, to say the least.
Her small, duck-like mouth.
Don't look now, but there's an idiot in the room.
Her apple-like cheeks.
Hey!
Her cute, girly voice.
What's with that pitying look?!
Her naturally straight hair.
Kousaku,
The slightly troubled look of her eyebrows.
you must really love that idol of yours.
Okay, okay. That's enough.
She's not "that idol"! She's Kusakabe Yuka-tan!
No, that's not all.
So what about her appeals to you?
There's also her worry-free smile.
Her big, round eyes are cute.
Her refined air.
Her petite, slightly pouty lips are cute.
How long do you plan on daydreaming?!
Her plump, apple-red cheeks are cute.
You need to be more serious!
Her girlish voice is cute.
What about you? Did you fill out the survey?
Her natural hairstyle is cute.
Studying? Working?
Her quizzical eyebrows are cute.
Well, working, I guess.
Very well. I get the picture.
Office work, you could say.
No you don't.
H-Hey, wait!
I'm not finished.
Well, technically, it is working.
Yuka-tan's carefree smile is cute.
Stupid... You must be stupid.
Her aura of refinement is cute—
N-No, I'm not!
Numskull!
You ain't in dreamland no more!
You gotta think this through proper-like!
Well, did you bring yours?
Higher education? Employment?
W-Well, employment, I s'pose.
Office work?
N-Now wait one gosh... darned...
Well, they're all technically careers.
Don't look now, but there's an idiot in the room!
I-I ain't no idiot!
It's a full-time job!
It's a full-time job!
You're making a racket.
Cut the noise pollution,
You imbeciles.
you plebians!
It's Boobs!
There she is! Tits!
Wh-Who are you calling Boobs?!
Wh-Who are you calling Tits?!
I'm Kochou. Yoshida Kochou!
My name is Kochou! Yoshida Kochou!
The losers from cultivation, huh?
The dunces of the Cultivation program, I see.
You guys sure are a noisy bunch.
Indulging in your inane chatter as usual.
We may all be in the Production Science Department,
Even within the Manufacturing Science Department,
but you bunch are in the spineless Cultivation major, dealing only with vegetables,
you crop-huggers are in the inconsequential Cultivation program.
while I'm in the elite Livestock major.
I am of the elite Animal Husbandry program.
We're on completely different levels.
You're dirt beneath my feet.
You don't even consider the people around you and make all that noise.
Yet you carry on with your frivolities with no regard for the nuisance you cause.
You lack common sense.
Common courtesy is a lost art.
And bringing a cow to the classroom is okay?
Mighty funny from a gal who brings a cow to class!
Shut it, imbecile!
Silence, pleb!
Agehagou is not your ordinary cow.
SS Ageha is no average heifer.
She is a top-class Hida Cow with great expectations as an elite wagyu.
She's the finest grade Hida cattle, destined to become elite wagyu!
I bet it's just 30 yen per 100 grams.
Shyeah, like 100 grams for 30 yen—
Ageha's expected selling price is 16 million yen.
Ageha is expected to sell for 16 million yen.
Make way!
Okay, youse bumpkins, make way, ya see?
Move out of the way, commoners.
Whose side are you on?!
Hey! Whose side are you on?
I'm sorry! Seriously, I'm sorry!
Sorry! I'm really sorry!
Infighting, are we?
In-fighting, huh?
A fitting prelude to your ultimate demise, plebs.
That's a fitting death for such imbeciles.
Yoshida.
Yoshida.
Wh-What is it?
Wh-What ish it, you p-p-pweb?
D-Don't c-call my name so lightly!
T-T-Twink twice befwore addweshing me wike dat!
Cows are delicate creatures.
Cattle are sensitive creatures.
They already get nervous just being around humans.
They're naturally prone to panicking in the presence of humans.
There's no need to bring them into a busy environment like a classroom.
I question the wisdom of bringing one to a place so noisy and full of fools.
You sure are short-sighted, Kamatori Kei.
How naïve of you, Kamatori Kei.
You're just another one of these imbeciles.
Whatever your pretentions, you're no more than a pleb!
What?
What... did you say?!
After this morning's incident, I learned that Ageha is still mentally inexperienced.
This morning's incident
So I brought her here to harden her.
made it abundantly clear that Ageha is still mentally immature.
Harden her?
Thus, I'm desensitizing her to human contact.
I see.
Desensitizing?!
You're amazing, Yoshida.
So that explains it.
I can't even compare when it comes to passion and knowledge about livestock.
I shouldn't have doubted you, Yoshida.
W-Well, as long as you understand.
It was not my place to question your passion and expertise for animal husbandry.
Just don't talk back to me like that again.
I-I hwope you wearned your wesshon!
G-Got that?
I-It would behwoove you not to twalk back to me in the fushure!
Good morning, everyone!
Y-You pwebwean!
The weather is really nice today. It feels great!
Good morning, class!
I'm so happy!
The sun is shining and it feels lovely!
I'd be even happier if I had a husband who brought in money.
Your teacher Becky is so happy!
She'd be even happier if she had a hubby to financially support her!
Sensei!
Sensei!
Yes, Nakazawa-san?
Yes, Nakazawa-san?
You think I'm cute as usual?
You want to tell Becky how cute she looks?
Oh, you! I may not look it, but I'm around 40.
Oh, you tease! Becky's in her forties, you know!
Boobs...
Tits—
I mean, Yoshida-san brought a cow to class.
Yoshida-san has brought a cow to class!
Oh, she did.
Oh, that she has.
Why did you bring a cow to class, Yoshida-san?
Why have you brought a cow, Yoshida-san?
Well, you see,
Ma'am.
since Mutsu-sensei from livestock was injured this morning,
As Mutsu-sensei the Husbandry teacher was incapacitated this morning,
I will be looking after her instead.
I have taken it upon myself to look after her.
That's completely different from what she just told us!
Wow! That's not the explanation we heard!
Are you sure it'll be okay, Yoshida-san?
Yoshida-san, are you sure you can handle her?
That's a silly question.
Do I look stupid?
That's okay then.
Then it's a-ok!
W-Wait a moment, Sensei. That's crazy!
N-Now hold up, Sensei!
If that's allowed, then we should be allowed to bring our crops to class, too.
That ain't right!
Right, everyone?
If'n that's fine and dandy,
Yeah!
then we oughta be 'llowed to bring our planters to class.
That's unfair!
Right, y'all?
Besides, you guys spend way too much money!
She's right!
You guys are the ones who keep saying it's for testing
Why's husbandry so special?
and eat all the fruits and vegetables you want!
Not to mention, you guys are always eating up the budget!
Give us some melons, too! Melons!
Says the ones always gobbling up fruits and veggies in the name of "taste analysis"!
Stop fighting!
Where are our melons?
Nakazawa-san, Yoshida-san, and everyone else, let's get along.
Melons, I say!
But Sensei, this isn't right.
Don't be so rough with each other!
What's not right, imbecile?
Both you, Nakazawa-san, and Yoshida-san.
Give us something to eat!
Let's have a pleasurable time together!
That's unfair, Boobs!
But looky here, Sensei!
Oh, yeah!
This is crazy any which way you cut it!
That reminds me.
Crazy in what way, pleb?
I went to a family restaurant yesterday.
Feed us!
And since I was out, I ordered some wine, too.
Go to Hell, Tits!
I had an extra glass prepared for my boyfriend as well.
That's right!
We toasted, and talked about how the food was nice and how I was feeling a little tipsy.
Speaking of crazy,
I even laughed a bit.
last night your teacher went to a family restaurant,
But isn't that weird?
ordered some wine since she doesn't eat out often,
asked for two glasses, one for him,
made a toast, complimented the wine, said, "Gosh, I might be getting tipsy,"
giggled slightly...
Crazy, isn't it?
I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't even have a boyfriend.
With that out of the way, let's get started.
Okay, time for class!
Let's eat!
Time to eat!
This is great!
Delish!
Another bowl!
Refill please!
Okay, okay. I'm on it.
Right away.
Have as much as you want.
Eat up.
That was a great meal!
Thanks for the food!
That sure tasted amazing!
Man, that was good!
Today, the Prime Minister decided to speak on the tax increase proposal.
Earlier, the prime minister and two cabinet members
However, the opposition party...
held a press conference on the bill to raise taxes.
It was amazing. Yes, it was delicious.
However, the opposition...
Why do humans seek good taste when energy is really all we need?
Delicious.
Why did God make humans like this?
Truly delicious.
Wait. Does God even exist?
Man needs only a steady caloric intake to survive,
Yes! God exists.
so why do we seek taste?
Why? Because God gave us Yukatan!
Why did God make man this way?
But wait, might God not exist?
Nay!
There is a God!
For 'twas God who bestowed Yuka-tan unto me!
Kousaku.
Kousaku.
In fact, Yukatan is God.
No. In fact, it is Yuka-tan who is divine.
Kusakabe Yuka is God!
Kusakabe Yuka is God!
Hey, Kousaku.
Hey, Kousaku!
Any Japanese male who doesn't worship Yukatan should be disemboweled!
All Japanese men who do not worship Yuka-tan
Listen up already, Kousaku!
should commit harakiri at once!
What is it?
Wouldja listen, Kousaku?
I was in the middle of an important thought process—
What's your problem?
Forget that! Look at what's on TV!
I was just engaged in deep contem—
There's some huge news.
Quit yappin' and mind the TV!
Huh? What are you two so worked up abou—
Something major's going down.
Kusakabe Yuka has suddenly announced her retirement!
Sheesh, what's got you two worked—
God has died!
Kusakabe Yuka's shocking retirement!
Unbelievable!
God is dead!
No way! This can't be happening.
No way!
No, no, no, no!
This can't be.
You're the cutest girl in the universe!
It can't be!
Class is starting soon!
It can't, it can't, it can't!
Hurry up and come out!
You're the cutest in the universe!
Stop running from reality already.
Class is startin'!
Pass me the master key, Kei.
Git yer rear out here!
Open the door already!
It's time to face reality.
You idiot, Kousaku.
Kei, hand me the master key.
Causing us so much trouble—
I ain't waitin' no more for you to open up!
Wh-What is this?
Stupid Kousaku.
Is that a body pillow case?
You're a right handful, you—
Wow, I've never actually seen someone in real life with one of these.
Wh-What in tarnation?!
More importantly, are you sleeping in that in just your underwear?
A body pillow cover?
That's pretty sad.
I ain't never met a body what actually had one of these.
Yukatan and I are one.
Didja honestly sleep in nothin' but them boxers and that pillowcase?
I am Yukatan, and Yukatan is me.
I think you might need help.
So in order to escape the trauma, he's trying to become one with her.
Yuka-tan and I are one and the same.
What an unusual preservation approach.
I am Yuka-tan! Yuka-tan is I!
Hey, you bug!
Not only has the shock made him flee reality,
Hurry up and molt your skin so we can go work!
it seems he's trying to merge identities with her as a defense mechanism.
You'll become a dropout if you don't come to class.
A remarkable show of Instrumentality.
Your dream about having a trendy farm will end, too.
Blast it!
You rabid creep!
Shed that thing and git to the fields!
They'll kick you out if'n you play hooky.
You can kiss good-bye to that "trendy agriculture".
I don't care anymore.
I don't care anymore.
I mean, I was only growing vegetables so I could send them to Yukatan.
I only raised crops so I could send them to Yuka-tan.
Kibo No. 209 departing from platform 16 for Shin-Osaka.
Kibou 209, bound for Shin-osaka,
What do you mean?
will be departing from platform 14.
So wait. Are you saying that you were sending her vegetables you grew?
To send to her?
Let me get this straight.
You've been sending the vegetables you grew in class to Kusakabe Yuka?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the big, black eggplants I grew myself in the greenhouse.
Like the plump, black eggplants we grew in our greenhouse class.
Are you an erotic terrorist?
Sexual terrorism?
Yeah, that's a crime right there.
Yeah, I reckon that's a felony.
Huh? Why?
Huh? Why?
Who would anonymously send a box full of eggplants to a young girl?
You anonymously mailed a young gal a box full of eggplants?
Are you out of your mind?
Are you loony?
But she lives in Tokyo, right?
B-But she lives in Tokyo!
It must be a concrete jungle with a shortage of vegetables there!
A concrete jungle where the diet rarely contains enough veggies!
So I sent them to make her happy.
I thought they might help her perk up!
Well, it's not like I don't understand.
I certainly see where you're coming from.
Thanks, Kei.
Thanks, Kei. I knew my best bud would understand.
You really are my best friend.
So what else did you send her?
So what else did you send her?
Fresh, bumpy cucumbers.
Fresh, bumpy cucumbers.
Call the police! There's a pervert here!
Call the cops! We got a sex offender!
Hey, what are you saying, best friend?!
Gee thanks, best bud!
Hurry, Minori!
Make haste, Minori!
If we stay with him, we might be mistaken for his accomplices!
If we don't apprehend him quickly, we'll be tried as accomplices!
Wait! Stop! I sent her other stuff, too!
Wait! Stop! Listen!
Like sweet corns, bitter melons, and matsutake mushrooms from the Forestry Department.
I sent her a bunch of other stuff too!
Next, perhaps, a daikon radis—
Like sweet corn and bitter melon!
Stop! Don't add to your crimes!
Or the matsutake mushrooms I bummed off the Forestry guys!
Hey... Are you doing this on purpose?
I was thinking white rad—
Why?! What did I do wrong?
No more!
Your very existence.
Don't compound your crime!
Complete rejection?!
I got half a mind you were doin' this on purpose.
If it's really that bad, then at least tell me what I did wrong.
What do you mean?
Precisely. In detail.
What did I do wrong anyway? Sheesh!
What are you saying, Kousaku?
Exist?
I'm asking you to tell me what was wrong with sending her eggplants and cucumbers.
That bad?!
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with eggplants.
Fine, then. Explain to me what I did wrong.
Clearly. And in detail.
H-Huh? Now what're you goin' on—
It's simple!
Tell me what the problem was with sending her eggplants and cucumbers!
Th-The eggplants ain't the problem.
I-It's just...
I-It's just...
It's just weird to anonymously send a young girl a box full of them.
I ain't so sure 'bout sendin' them anonymously to a young gal...
So there is something wrong with eggplants, then!
That's not what you said!
You're dissing eggplants!
You said the eggplants were the problem!
How would you feel if someone said that about your crops?
You dissed the eggplants!
Come on! Tell me what's wrong.
How would you feel if I insulted the crops you grew?
Well, that's...
What did I do wrong?
because they have an indecent shape.
Well it's just... they got a dirty shape...
Oh?
Oh? Eggplants have a dirty shape, do they?
Eggplants have an indecent shape?
Dirty how and why?
How is it indecent?
Spell it out so a dummy like me can get it.
Could you explain it so even an idiot like me can understand?
Y-You know, they look like that.
I-It's... because it looks similar to... you know.
Oh-hoh?
Oh?
So what does the sight of girthy, black, glistening eggplants
What do you see when you see a fine, black eggplant?
remind you of, Minori?
Come on, tell me nice and clearly.
Come now, let's hear you say it.
A p-pe...
A p... p...
A pen—
pe... pen...
No way I'm going to say it, you idiot!
Like hell I'll say it, asshole!
That was on purpose, wasn't it?
You knew full well, didn't you?
Yes, I'm sorry.
Yes. I'm sorry.
Even I realized eventually.
I'm not actually that slow.
Well, I doubt she ever ate them,
Well, I don't reckon she 'et any,
but did you ever receive a response?
but didja hear back at least?
Why would I?
Of course not.
What do you mean? There's always the possibility.
Why's that?
I never mentioned who I was.
You never know with these things.
Are you some deity or something?
I sent them anonymously.
Or Gon, the Little Fox.
What are you, some cobbler's elf?
Anyway, you have to come to class regardless of Kusakabe Yuka's retirement.
Or perhaps a daddy-long-legs.
We're all responsible, you know.
Anyhow,
I already said that I'm not going!
Kusakabe Yuka's retirin' is her business.
I'm going to stay like this with Yukatan forever.
You just worry 'bout gettin' to class
Yukatan is really pretty, cute, gentle, and pure.
before the lot of us get a hidin'.
Just saying, but she's probably a bitch.
I said, I'm not going!
Screw you, you dirty daikon radish-legged bitch!
I'm gonna stay here,
Goodbye, my potential descendants.
together with Yuka-tan forever!
Listen here, Kousaku.
Yuka-tan is so beautiful, so cute,
Skipping out on class duties only causes trouble for others.
so kind, so pure...
If this continues, I'll have the people from Livestock cut your balls off.
Sure, I bet that gal's a slut.
Understood?!
Why you...
Your response?
You shut your bitch mouth, Thunder Thighs!
I can't speak...
You dirty rotten piece of...
Why am I here? There's no point to this!
Announcing my withdrawal from the gene pool.
Stop complaining and do your job.
Now listen you here, Kousaku.
You say something, too, Kei.
Skippin' when you're on duty ain't nothin' but trouble for the rest of us!
Y-Yeah...
Keep it up, and I'll ask them Husbandry folks to neuter you for real!
Good morning, everyone!
Got it?
Listen to this!
If you got it, say so!
This morning, I tried this really expensive essential oil I bought recently.
Can't.
It was amazing!
This sucks! There's no point anymore!
My dry skin became all smooth and silky.
Quit bellyachin' and do yer work.
And that's when I thought...
Kei, help me out here.
wouldn't it be awesome if I rubbed it all over my body?
Huh? Right...
And I thought any oil would do, so I decided to pour oil all over myself.
Morning, class!
The different oils. All over my body. Mixing it up.
Say, listen to this!
My skin became all smooth and silky.
You see, this morning,
You could say it felt like baby skin. No, I had a shining body.
your dear teacher tried on some of that wicked-expensive essential oil she bought!
I felt like I was turning into a cream.
And, oh my God, it was just, so good.
I couldn't stop taking photos with my smartphone.
Her rough skin turned silky smooth!
My poses started to get bolder. They were spectacular shots!
So then your teacher thought, why not do her whole body?
And then, and then...
And, figuring any oil would do, she slathered it on!
I felt like dying.
Cooking oil! All over her body! With a dash of chili oil!
When I thought about it properly, I was really just covered in grease.
And oh! So smooth and glistening!
Even my hair.
Like a baby's bottom? No, like sushi!
And when I played back the recording, it was just me, legs spread with a huge grin on my face.
Like, slice me up and serve me with ginger!
Oh, right. We have a new student.
She started snapping selfies like crazy!
A new student?
Struck a pose! Let it all out!
Yeah, she's really beautiful.
Playboy, here I come!
Okay, Kinoshita-san, come in.
And then! And then...
She was too pretty to just be a high school girl.
I wanted to die.
She was cute, beautiful and magical.
Because really, I was just some oily freak.
She was too angelic.
It was even in my hair.
She looked like an idol.
And when I looked through my memory card,
Yukatan?
there I was, looking smug, spread like a camwhore.
I'm Kinoshita Ringo.
Oh yeah. We have a transfer student.
What?
A transfer student?
King of Farmers.
Yep. She's a major cutie too.
Okay, Kinoshita-san. Come in!
To call so fair a maiden "a high schooler" would be a grave injustice.
Far too darling, exquisite, delicate, and awe-inspiring was she.
Before me stood the epitome of an idol.
Yuka... tan?
My name is Kinoshita Ringo.
"King of Farmers".