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--
CR? (Whatever SubsPlease is)
--
Zoombie
Why?
Why?
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Why is
this happening?
Why is
all
this happening?
Dad...
Dad...
Mom...
Mom...
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
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You
've really hung in t
here.
..
You
did well to make it
here.
There's
nothing
to
be afraid of here.
There's
no need
to
fret anymore, okay?
Anyway,
get some rest
for now
.
You're safe now, so just try to relax and
get some rest
.
Manager...
Manager...
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They'
ve come
again.
They'
re swarming
again.
I'm s
orry
!
S
orry
,
There's
a
small
meeting
I need
to attend.
but I've got
a
short
meeting
to attend.
Let's
take the time to talk
again
later
.
Let's
chat
again
afterwards
.
You
can wait
by yourself
, can't you?
You
'll be okay
by yourself
until then,
right
?
It'll be all
right
.
It's okay
.
I'll definitely
come
back
.
I'll definitely
be
back
, okay?
It's a
promise.
I
promise.
Okay.
Okay.
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Let's do this
.
Let's do this
, boys
.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
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--
Take this!
Hurry, give me a
nother
one!
A
nother
, on the double!
Okay
!
Got it
!
Don't do it, Akemi!
Sto—
Don't do it, Akemi!
You can figh—
Dam
n
it.
Dam
m
it.
I
wanted to
become
number one
... just
like Shou.
..
I
just
wanted to
be
number one
,
like Shou.
Let's
do whatever it takes to protect this place!
We have to
do whatever it takes to protect this place!
Put some
spirit
into it
!
Put some
backbone
into it
, men
!
Yeah!
Yeah!
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Phew.
..
Phew.
It's been a while since I
was
last
here,
but
...
It's been a while since I
last
visited,
Shinjuku
is just as I expected it to be
.
but
Shinjuku
hasn't changed one bit
.
It's
really
packed
here.
It's
as
packed
as ever!
But,
I know you wouldn't
just lay
down
and die!
I know you wouldn't
go
down
so easily, though!
Wa
it
for me
, Kencho!
Just hold out a b
it
longer
, Kencho!
--OP
--OP
Now that I've quit, I can grow any kind of beard I want.
Now that I've quit, I can grow any kind of beard I want.
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I wonder if
there
's any
way I can
get
it
to grow in any cooler...
But it's coming in patchy as hell. Isn't
there
some
way I can
make
it
look a bit fuller?
Nope,
no way.
Nope,
this ain't gonna work.
I'm
shaving it
.
Back to
shaving it
is.
W
hat
should I do
today?
Now, w
hat
's on the menu for
today?
Oh?
--
It
's working
!
My phone
's working
?
I've got messages!
I've got messages!
The internet must be back up!
The internet must be back up!
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Come to think of it, f
or the past three years,
F
or the past three years,
I was so bogged down with work that I
've
had to turn down invite after invite.
I was so bogged down with work that I
had to turn down invite after invite.
There are tons of people
that
I'
d like
to
see after all this time
!
There are tons of people
I'
ve been dying
to
hang out with
!
Oh
right.
Oh
,
right.
I can
only
use my phone
now
because internet traffic
is
down.
The only reason
I can
even
use my phone
right
now
is
because internet traffic
has finally slowed
down.
Which means
there
aren't
as many people using
it
.
Which means
most of the people I'm trying to reach probably
aren't
around to use
it
anymore
.
I
sacrificed
time
I could have spent with friends,
for what?
I
spent so much
time
and energy working, and
for what?
What good did all that overtime do me?
I
should
've spent it with the people I care about instead.
You
should
just quit
already!
Seriously,
just quit
that dumb job
already!
Kencho...
Kencho...
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There's no way a guy like you would just
lay down
and die
.
There's no way a guy like you would just
roll over
and die
!
I knew it. It's no good
.
Dammit, I really am trapped
.
There's no way out
!
There's no way out
of this.
N
othing but water for three days.
I've had n
othing but water for three days.
Worst of
all
...
And to top it
all
off
...
I've been stuck in here with this monster.
I've been stuck in here with this monster.
I'm losing my goddamn mind!
I'm losing my goddamn mind!
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That said...
But y'know, I got pretty lucky, all things considered.
I'm glad my
drunk ass just happened to
pick
the
bondage room.
My
drunk ass just happened to
be in
the
mood for some BDSM.
Damn it.
I'm
starving
.
I'm
so damn hungry
.
And
I'm
so
exhausted by all this
.
And
so
tired
.
Is this
how
this all
ends for me?
Is this
really
how
it
ends for me?
In some stupid
place like this?
In some stupid
love hotel?
Hey
, that's
wild
!
C'mon
, that's
too funny
!
Why am I thinking of him
now
?
Why am I thinking of him
at a time like this
?
My
sides
hurt
!
My
freakin' stomach
hurt
s, dude
!
Oh
... that's
right.
..
Oh
,
right.
You always
laugh
ed
at my stupid jokes, didn't you?
You always
did
laugh
at my stupid jokes, didn't you?
Do it again!
Do it again!
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Those were
the days! In college…
Those were
simpler times. Back in—
I wan
t to film
it!
I wan
na record
it!
Is that you, Akira?
Is that you, Akira?
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Whoa! You
picked up!
Whoa! You
actually
picked up!
Kencho,
you'
re
alive
!
I'm so glad
you'
ve
alive
, Kencho
!
It's been a while
! Has it really
been a year since we last went out for drinks?
It's been a while
, man
! Has it really
already
been a year since we last went out for drinks?
Y-Yeah
...
I-I think so
...
What
's wrong
?
What
gives
?
You
don't
sound
down
!
You
sound
super depressed, dude
!
Uh, well...
why
do
you sound so
hyped?
Uh, well...
I'm more confused as to
why
you sound so
excited.
I'll
tell
you
all about it
wh
en
we
meet
!
It's a long story, but
I'll
fill
you
in
wh
ile
we
're hanging out
!
Where are you right now?
Where are you right now?
I'm in Shinjuku.
I'm in Shinjuku.
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Okay!
Shinjuku!
Got it,
Shinjuku!
I'll be right over!
I'll be right over!
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No, it's impossible.
Dude, are you nuts?
The place is swarming with zombies.
The place is swarming with zombies.
Just forget about me!
Just forget about me!
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It'll be fine
! I
t
'll be
fine!
Don't you worry about me
! I
'll be
just
fine!
Anyway, text me your address!
Just text me the address, okay?
Huh? You—
Huh? Are—
Bye!
See ya soon!
Back in college, Kencho and I
Kencho and I go way back.
went through a lot together during our
four
years in
the rugby club
.
We
went through a lot together during our
rugby
years in
college
.
He was a handsome, smooth talker.
He was a handsome, smooth talker.
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But
de
spite
being
popular
, he
'd go all-out
to
be the life of the party
.
But
in
spite
of how
popular
that made him
, he
always found time
to
make his buds laugh
.
He was
my
closest
friend.
He was
, without a doubt,
my
best
friend.
He
bec
a
me a big-time real
estate agent
after college
.
After college, he went on to
bec
o
me a big-time real
-
estate agent
.
With his natural talent for communication, things were smooth sailing for him at
his job
.
With his natural talent for communication, things were smooth sailing for him at
work
.
Yesterday, I was entertaining some
Diet members
!
Yesterday, I was entertaining some
politicians
!
Those guys spend money on a whole
other level!
Those guys spend money on a whole
'n
other level!
Oh,
that's right
.
Oh,
I almost forgot
.
Check
out
my
new
girlfriend.
Check
it
out
. This is
my
girlfriend.
She's a model!
She's a model!
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T
ook a day trip to Paris last weekend.
We actually t
ook a day trip to Paris last weekend.
Meanwhile
... My soul
was
getting crushed
in the gears of an exploitative
corporation.
Meanwhile
, I
was
constantly slaving away, trapped
in the gears of an exploitative
workplace,
So
I
didn
't
have
the
patience to listen to
other people's success stories.
so
I
wasn
't
exactly in
the
mood for
other people's success stories.
What's
the deal with your company?!
What's
wrong with your company, dude?
It's super exploitative!
They treat you guys like total crap!
Just walk away!
Get the hell out of dodge, man!
You should just quit
already!
Seriously, just quit that dumb job
already!
What the hell...
Easy for you to say, man.
I'm seriously struggling, here.
I need actual advice, not platitudes.
My serious advice is that you should quit!
And I'm giving you actual advice, brother.
Staying with a company like that is stupid.
You'd have to be a complete idiot to stay at a company like that.
You're just an idiot!
Got that, dumbass?
And you're being obnoxious with all your bragging about your personal life!
Yeah, well, at least I'm not an asshole!
You should stop doing that!
How about this? I'll quit my job if you can quit bragging about yours for ten seconds!
Bartender
! C
heck please!
Bartender
, c
heck please!
Bartender
! C
heck please!
Bartender
, c
heck please!
Wait for me
, Kencho!
Hang in there
, Kencho!
I'm
on my way
!
I'm
comin', buddy
!
So, this is the end, huh?
So, this is the end, huh?
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Considering
my life
...
Given everything that's happened in
my life
,
It's a pretty great
way
to
go
out.
there are worse
way
s I could've
go
ne
out.
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
I couldn't keep my promise.
I couldn't keep my promise.
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What
happened?
What
?
Am I
...
safe
?
I'm
...
alive
?
What's that noise?
What's that noise?
All right!
All right!
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Okay!
There we go.
What
's
happen
ing
?
What
happen
ed
?
The zombies
are gone?
The zombies
left?
What's going on here
?
But why
?
Kencho
...
Kencho
?
Akira.
..
Akira.
You
really
came.
You
actually
came.
Kencho!
Kencho!
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You were right
this whole time
!
You were right
all along
!
I should
ha
ve just quit
a company like that
!
I should
'
ve just quit
when you told me to
!
But instead of listening to you
r advice...
But instead of listening to you
,
I
got
jealous
of how successful and happy you were.
I
let
jealous
y get the better of me
and took my anger out on you!
I got annoyed
and took my anger out on you!
I got frustrated that you were more successful than me!
Even though
we
're
friend
s...
Even though
you
're
my
friend
!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
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I
really
am! I'm
sorry!
I
'm really,
really
sorry!
You...
came all this way
...
Wait, you
came all this way
just to tell me that?
just to tell me that?
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I'm really sorry
!
I'm really sorry
, man
!
W-Well...
W-Well...
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How
should
I say this?
How
do
I say this?
I should
...
There's something I need to
...
They're back!
They're back!
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I shouldn't have shouted
!
I shouldn't have shouted
so loudly!
Our only chance is
to
go up
!
Hurry, up
to
the roof
!
Kencho
! Behind you
!
Kencho
, the door
!
It's no good!
It
's not gonna
hold!
It's no good!
I can't hold 'em!
Hang in
the
re!
Just hang on!
That won't be enough
.
That
's not gonna
stop
the
m
.
They'll
get
through
soon
!
They'll
break
through
in no time
!
What
should
we do?
What
do
we do?
What
should
we do?
What
do
we do?
What
should
we do?
What
do
we do?
What
should
we do?
What
do
we do?
What
should
we do?
What
do
we do?
Ugh, damn it
!
Oh, goddammit
!
What
should
we do, Akira?!
What
do
we do, Akira?!
Hey, Akira!
Hey, Akira!
We jump.
We jump.
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--
Huh?
The
next
building
over
is close enough to
leap across
.
The
building
across from us
is close enough to
reach
.
What?
No way..
.
What?
You can't be serious
.
We can't make that
distance!
We can't make that
jump!
That
's
impossible!
I mean, there
's
no way, right?
Hey...
Akira?
Right,
Akira?
Guess we'll
find out
by jumping!
Only one way to
find out
.
--
You have to take a leap of faith!
Akira!
Akira!
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A-Are you
all right
?!
A-Are you
okay
?!
How'd you like
that?!
What did ya think of
that?!
How'd
I
like it?!
What did
I
think?
Y
ou've got balls of steel, man!
I think y
ou've got balls of steel, man!
Hurry up
and get over here!
Well, quit being so impressed
and get over here!
Kencho?
Kencho?
Akira...
Akira...
I know you came all this way to save me, but I'm sorry.
I know you came all this way to save me, but I'm sorry.
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I don't think... I can
jump
that
.
I don't think... I can
take
that
leap.
Before the end, t
here's something I
want
to tell you
, Akira.
T
here's something I
need
to tell you
while I still have the chance
, Akira.
The truth is...
The truth is...
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I didn't enjoy my
job
at all
.
That "awesome"
job
of mine? It actually sucked ass
.
Day
after
day
, I had to
smile at
people
while ly
ing
to their faces.
Day
in and
day
out
, I had to
sweet-talk
people
into signing bad contracts,
I tricked them into bad contracts.
laughing and smil
ing
as I lied straight
to their faces.
The praise from the higher-ups,
But for all the praise I received,
the company's acknowledgement...
accolades I achieved,
The
gorgeous models I dated
...
gorgeous models I dated
,
Dining out with big-time politicians
and famous
athletes
...
and famous
people I wined-and-dined
...
...didn't make me happy at all.
I never got one ounce of happiness.
Hey
, Akira
!
Don't you get it
, Akira
?
!
I was just showing off
!
I was just lying to myself
!
I was just lying to myself
to feel less empty inside.
All that bragging was me trying to convince myself
So, I pretended like I was having fun.
that I actually had a fulfilling life!
I was a horrible person... always bragging!
But all it did was hurt those around me! I've been a terrible friend!
I
'm the
one
who
needs to
say I'm sorry!
I
f any
one
needs to
apologize, it's me
!
I really am
!
I'
ve never been...
I'
m
sorry!
more
sorry!
Well
, that
make
s sense
.
Yeah
, that
checks out.
That
fun-loving
panache
of yours
Back in college, you always loved to
make
us laugh
.
always came through to make sure we were all having fun!
That
's how you really wanted to use that
fun-loving
persona
of yours
, right?
That's right!
That's right!
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I
wanted
a job where I could
sincerely
entertain
my
clients.
What I really
wanted
was
a job where I could
truly,
sincerely
make people happy!
I
actually
...
All
my
life, what I've
actually
wanted
...
wanted
to be a stand-up comic!
is
to be a stand-up comic!
In
that
case...
Then you know what to do!
Just quit
already
Quit
that
dumb job this instant
and become one right now
!
and follow your dreams
already
!
Take it from me!
Take it from me!
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You should always listen to your
friend
s when they
give you advice
!
When a
friend
tries to
give you advice
, you should listen
!
If you
're
a
stand-up
comic,
get ready
and
show me
you
can jump that distance
!
If you
wanna be
a
comic,
take that leap of faith
and
let
you
r true colors shine
!
Y-Yeah!
Y-Yeah!
Hey, Akira!
Hey, Akira!
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Give me a hand
!
Give me a hand
here
!
This
time, it
isn't a joke
!
This
isn't a joke
anymore
!
Is this
how I'm going
to die?!
Is this
seriously
how I'm going
out?
Completely buck
naked?!
Completely buck
-
naked?!
Akira!
Akira!
Up you go!
Up you go!
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What's the matter, Kencho?
!
What's the matter, Kencho?
Were you bitten by a
zombie?
Were you bitten by a
—
I scraped...
I scraped...
my balls!
my balls!
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I didn't expect you to cry
out
like a baby.
I didn't expect you to cry
like a baby.
And buck
naked too...
And buck
-naked, too.
You idiot. It was highly sophisticated new material, inspired by my rebirth as an entertainer.
You simpleton. I guess that part of my new routine was a bit too sophisticated for you to understand, huh?
New? You always do naked jokes.
New? Nude jokes are, like, your whole shtick.
I'll be doing that more often from here on.
Yeah, well, you'd better get used to 'em.
Oh man, I'd really like to
stand
on a stage.
Oh man, I'd really like to
perform
on a stage.
Hey,
do
you
have any connections from work
?
You
do
n't happen to
have any connections from work
, do you
?
Work?
What
's that?
I've n
ever
done it.
Work?
Who
's that?
N
ever
heard of her.
Who
's
the
one
who
looked like he was going to die from working at
an
exploitative company?!
That
's
a bit rich, coming from
the
guy
who
slaved away in
an
office for years.
Y
ou looked worse than the zombies
!
Seriously, y
ou looked worse than the zombies
do!
W
hat
the hell? You?!
A stand-up comic?
!
And w
hat
about you, huh?
A stand-up comic?
What kind of
comic
cries?
Aren't
comic
s supposed to laugh, not cry?
Anyway
, you
were
seriously amazing
today
!
Jokes aside
, you
really
were
incredible
today
, man.
Guys who quit their jobs
,
drop
everything
and move on with their lives
...
Guys who quit their jobs
or
drop
out of school
and move on with their lives
tend to be really successful later on.
tend to be really successful later on.
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Like entrepreneurs or artists.
..
Like entrepreneurs or artists.
You might even be...
You might even be...
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the guy who saves us all from
the
zombie
infection
.
the guy who saves us all from
this
zombie
apocalypse
.
Me?
Me?
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已複製
No
way
. T
hat's
not
gonna happen.
Nah, nah. Ain't no
way
t
hat's
gonna happen.
Yeah,
probably not.
Yeah,
you're right.
That ain't happening.
Not in a million years.
Whoa, I just thought up a new bit!
Hey, that gives me an idea for another new routine!
It probably involves you getting naked, doesn't it?
Lemme guess—the punchline is stripping?
--ED
--ED
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已複製
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已複製
Next time: Flight Attendant of the Dead
Next time: Flight Attendant of the Dead
!
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原始文本
開啟檔案
--CR? (Whatever SubsPlease is) Why? Why is this happening? Dad... Mom... Are you all right? You've really hung in there... There's nothing to be afraid of here. Anyway, get some rest for now. Manager... They've come again. I'm sorry! There's a small meeting I need to attend. Let's take the time to talk again later. You can wait by yourself, can't you? It'll be all right. I'll definitely come back. It's a promise. Okay. Let's do this. Yeah! Hang in there. -- Hurry, give me another one! Okay! Don't do it, Akemi! Sto— Damn it. I wanted to become number one... just like Shou... Let's do whatever it takes to protect this place! Put some spirit into it! Yeah! Phew... It's been a while since I was last here, but... Shinjuku is just as I expected it to be. It's really packed here. But, I know you wouldn't just lay down and die! Wait for me, Kencho! --OP Now that I've quit, I can grow any kind of beard I want. I wonder if there's any way I can get it to grow in any cooler... Nope, no way. I'm shaving it. What should I do today? Oh? It's working! I've got messages! The internet must be back up! Come to think of it, for the past three years, I was so bogged down with work that I've had to turn down invite after invite. There are tons of people that I'd like to see after all this time! Oh right. I can only use my phone now because internet traffic is down. Which means there aren't as many people using it. I sacrificed time I could have spent with friends, for what? What good did all that overtime do me? You should just quit already! Kencho... There's no way a guy like you would just lay down and die. I knew it. It's no good. There's no way out! Nothing but water for three days. Worst of all... I've been stuck in here with this monster. I'm losing my goddamn mind! That said... I'm glad my drunk ass just happened to pick the bondage room. Damn it. I'm starving. And I'm so exhausted by all this. Is this how this all ends for me? In some stupid place like this? Hey, that's wild! Why am I thinking of him now? My sides hurt! Oh... that's right... You always laughed at my stupid jokes, didn't you? Do it again! Those were the days! In college… I want to film it! Is that you, Akira? Whoa! You picked up! Kencho, you're alive! It's been a while! Has it really been a year since we last went out for drinks? Y-Yeah... What's wrong? You don't sound down! Uh, well... why do you sound so hyped? I'll tell you all about it when we meet! Where are you right now? I'm in Shinjuku. Okay! Shinjuku! I'll be right over! No, it's impossible. The place is swarming with zombies. Just forget about me! It'll be fine! It'll be fine! Anyway, text me your address! Huh? You— Bye! Back in college, Kencho and I went through a lot together during our four years in the rugby club. He was a handsome, smooth talker. But despite being popular, he'd go all-out to be the life of the party. He was my closest friend. He became a big-time real estate agent after college. With his natural talent for communication, things were smooth sailing for him at his job. Yesterday, I was entertaining some Diet members! Those guys spend money on a whole other level! Oh, that's right. Check out my new girlfriend. She's a model! Took a day trip to Paris last weekend. Meanwhile... My soul was getting crushed in the gears of an exploitative corporation. So I didn't have the patience to listen to other people's success stories. What's the deal with your company?! It's super exploitative! Just walk away! You should just quit already! What the hell... I'm seriously struggling, here. My serious advice is that you should quit! Staying with a company like that is stupid. You're just an idiot! And you're being obnoxious with all your bragging about your personal life! You should stop doing that! Bartender! Check please! Bartender! Check please! Wait for me, Kencho! I'm on my way! So, this is the end, huh? Considering my life... It's a pretty great way to go out. I'm sorry... I couldn't keep my promise. What happened? Am I... safe? What's that noise? All right! Okay! What's happening? The zombies are gone? What's going on here? Kencho... Akira... You really came. Kencho! You were right this whole time! I should have just quit a company like that! But instead of listening to your advice... I got jealous of how successful and happy you were. I got annoyed and took my anger out on you! Even though we're friends... I'm sorry! I really am! I'm sorry! You... came all this way... just to tell me that? I'm really sorry! W-Well... How should I say this? I should... They're back! I shouldn't have shouted! Our only chance is to go up! Kencho! Behind you! It's no good! It's not gonna hold! Hang in there! That won't be enough. They'll get through soon! What should we do? What should we do? What should we do? What should we do? What should we do? Ugh, damn it! What should we do, Akira?! Hey, Akira! We jump. -- The next building over is close enough to leap across. What? No way... We can't make that distance! That's impossible! Hey... Akira? Guess we'll find out by jumping! -- Akira! A-Are you all right?! How'd you like that?! How'd I like it?! You've got balls of steel, man! Hurry up and get over here! Kencho? Akira... I know you came all this way to save me, but I'm sorry. I don't think... I can jump that. Before the end, there's something I want to tell you, Akira. The truth is... I didn't enjoy my job at all. Day after day, I had to smile at people while lying to their faces. I tricked them into bad contracts. The praise from the higher-ups, the company's acknowledgement... The gorgeous models I dated... Dining out with big-time politicians and famous athletes... ...didn't make me happy at all. Hey, Akira! I was just showing off! I was just lying to myself to feel less empty inside. So, I pretended like I was having fun. I was a horrible person... always bragging! I'm the one who needs to say I'm sorry! I really am! I'm sorry! Well, that makes sense. That fun-loving panache of yours always came through to make sure we were all having fun! That's right! I wanted a job where I could sincerely entertain my clients. I actually... wanted to be a stand-up comic! In that case... Just quit already and become one right now! Take it from me! You should always listen to your friends when they give you advice! If you're a stand-up comic, get ready and show me you can jump that distance! Y-Yeah! Hey, Akira! Give me a hand! This time, it isn't a joke! Is this how I'm going to die?! Completely buck naked?! Akira! Up you go! What's the matter, Kencho?! Were you bitten by a zombie? I scraped... my balls! I didn't expect you to cry out like a baby. And buck naked too... You idiot. It was highly sophisticated new material, inspired by my rebirth as an entertainer. New? You always do naked jokes. I'll be doing that more often from here on. Oh man, I'd really like to stand on a stage. Hey, do you have any connections from work? Work? What's that? I've never done it. Who's the one who looked like he was going to die from working at an exploitative company?! You looked worse than the zombies! What the hell? You?! A stand-up comic?! What kind of comic cries? Anyway, you were seriously amazing today! Guys who quit their jobs, drop everything and move on with their lives... tend to be really successful later on. Like entrepreneurs or artists... You might even be... the guy who saves us all from the zombie infection. Me? No way. That's not gonna happen. Yeah, probably not. That ain't happening. Whoa, I just thought up a new bit! It probably involves you getting naked, doesn't it? --ED Next time: Flight Attendant of the Dead
更改後文本
開啟檔案
--Zoombie Why? Why is all this happening? Dad... Mom... Are you all right? You did well to make it here. There's no need to fret anymore, okay? You're safe now, so just try to relax and get some rest. Manager... They're swarming again. Sorry, but I've got a short meeting to attend. Let's chat again afterwards. You'll be okay by yourself until then, right? It's okay. I'll definitely be back, okay? I promise. Okay. Let's do this, boys. Yeah! Hang in there. Take this! Another, on the double! Got it! Don't do it, Akemi! You can figh— Dammit. I just wanted to be number one, like Shou. We have to do whatever it takes to protect this place! Put some backbone into it, men! Yeah! Phew. It's been a while since I last visited, but Shinjuku hasn't changed one bit. It's as packed as ever! I know you wouldn't go down so easily, though! Just hold out a bit longer, Kencho! --OP Now that I've quit, I can grow any kind of beard I want. But it's coming in patchy as hell. Isn't there some way I can make it look a bit fuller? Nope, this ain't gonna work. Back to shaving it is. Now, what's on the menu for today? -- My phone's working? I've got messages! The internet must be back up! For the past three years, I was so bogged down with work that I had to turn down invite after invite. There are tons of people I've been dying to hang out with! Oh, right. The only reason I can even use my phone right now is because internet traffic has finally slowed down. Which means most of the people I'm trying to reach probably aren't around to use it anymore. I spent so much time and energy working, and for what? I should've spent it with the people I care about instead. Seriously, just quit that dumb job already! Kencho... There's no way a guy like you would just roll over and die! Dammit, I really am trapped. There's no way out of this. I've had nothing but water for three days. And to top it all off... I've been stuck in here with this monster. I'm losing my goddamn mind! But y'know, I got pretty lucky, all things considered. My drunk ass just happened to be in the mood for some BDSM. I'm so damn hungry. And so tired. Is this really how it ends for me? In some stupid love hotel? C'mon, that's too funny! Why am I thinking of him at a time like this? My freakin' stomach hurts, dude! Oh, right. You always did laugh at my stupid jokes, didn't you? Do it again! Those were simpler times. Back in— I wanna record it! Is that you, Akira? Whoa! You actually picked up! I'm so glad you've alive, Kencho! It's been a while, man! Has it really already been a year since we last went out for drinks? I-I think so... What gives? You sound super depressed, dude! Uh, well... I'm more confused as to why you sound so excited. It's a long story, but I'll fill you in while we're hanging out! Where are you right now? I'm in Shinjuku. Got it, Shinjuku! I'll be right over! Dude, are you nuts? The place is swarming with zombies. Just forget about me! Don't you worry about me! I'll be just fine! Just text me the address, okay? Huh? Are— See ya soon! Kencho and I go way back. We went through a lot together during our rugby years in college. He was a handsome, smooth talker. But in spite of how popular that made him, he always found time to make his buds laugh. He was, without a doubt, my best friend. After college, he went on to become a big-time real-estate agent. With his natural talent for communication, things were smooth sailing for him at work. Yesterday, I was entertaining some politicians! Those guys spend money on a whole 'nother level! Oh, I almost forgot. Check it out. This is my girlfriend. She's a model! We actually took a day trip to Paris last weekend. Meanwhile, I was constantly slaving away, trapped in the gears of an exploitative workplace, so I wasn't exactly in the mood for other people's success stories. What's wrong with your company, dude? They treat you guys like total crap! Get the hell out of dodge, man! Seriously, just quit that dumb job already! Easy for you to say, man. I need actual advice, not platitudes. And I'm giving you actual advice, brother. You'd have to be a complete idiot to stay at a company like that. Got that, dumbass? Yeah, well, at least I'm not an asshole! How about this? I'll quit my job if you can quit bragging about yours for ten seconds! Bartender, check please! Bartender, check please! Hang in there, Kencho! I'm comin', buddy! So, this is the end, huh? Given everything that's happened in my life, there are worse ways I could've gone out. I'm sorry... I couldn't keep my promise. What? I'm... alive? What's that noise? All right! There we go. What happened? The zombies left? But why? Kencho? Akira. You actually came. Kencho! You were right all along! I should've just quit when you told me to! But instead of listening to you, I let jealousy get the better of me and took my anger out on you! I got frustrated that you were more successful than me! Even though you're my friend! I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry! Wait, you came all this way just to tell me that? I'm really sorry, man! W-Well... How do I say this? There's something I need to... They're back! I shouldn't have shouted so loudly! Hurry, up to the roof! Kencho, the door! It's no good! I can't hold 'em! Just hang on! That's not gonna stop them. They'll break through in no time! What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? Oh, goddammit! What do we do, Akira?! Hey, Akira! We jump. Huh? The building across from us is close enough to reach. What? You can't be serious. We can't make that jump! I mean, there's no way, right? Right, Akira? Only one way to find out. You have to take a leap of faith! Akira! A-Are you okay?! What did ya think of that?! What did I think? I think you've got balls of steel, man! Well, quit being so impressed and get over here! Kencho? Akira... I know you came all this way to save me, but I'm sorry. I don't think... I can take that leap. There's something I need to tell you while I still have the chance, Akira. The truth is... That "awesome" job of mine? It actually sucked ass. Day in and day out, I had to sweet-talk people into signing bad contracts, laughing and smiling as I lied straight to their faces. But for all the praise I received, accolades I achieved, gorgeous models I dated, and famous people I wined-and-dined... I never got one ounce of happiness. Don't you get it, Akira?! I was just lying to myself! All that bragging was me trying to convince myself that I actually had a fulfilling life! But all it did was hurt those around me! I've been a terrible friend! If anyone needs to apologize, it's me! I've never been... more sorry! Yeah, that checks out. Back in college, you always loved to make us laugh. That's how you really wanted to use that fun-loving persona of yours, right? That's right! What I really wanted was a job where I could truly, sincerely make people happy! All my life, what I've actually wanted... is to be a stand-up comic! Then you know what to do! Quit that dumb job this instant and follow your dreams already! Take it from me! When a friend tries to give you advice, you should listen! If you wanna be a comic, take that leap of faith and let your true colors shine! Y-Yeah! Hey, Akira! Give me a hand here! This isn't a joke anymore! Is this seriously how I'm going out? Completely buck-naked?! Akira! Up you go! What's the matter, Kencho? Were you bitten by a— I scraped... my balls! I didn't expect you to cry like a baby. And buck-naked, too. You simpleton. I guess that part of my new routine was a bit too sophisticated for you to understand, huh? New? Nude jokes are, like, your whole shtick. Yeah, well, you'd better get used to 'em. Oh man, I'd really like to perform on a stage. You don't happen to have any connections from work, do you? Work? Who's that? Never heard of her. That's a bit rich, coming from the guy who slaved away in an office for years. Seriously, you looked worse than the zombies do! And what about you, huh? A stand-up comic? Aren't comics supposed to laugh, not cry? Jokes aside, you really were incredible today, man. Guys who quit their jobs or drop out of school and move on with their lives tend to be really successful later on. Like entrepreneurs or artists. You might even be... the guy who saves us all from this zombie apocalypse. Me? Nah, nah. Ain't no way that's gonna happen. Yeah, you're right. Not in a million years. Hey, that gives me an idea for another new routine! Lemme guess—the punchline is stripping? --ED Next time: Flight Attendant of the Dead!
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