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SANDA (2025) - S01E02 - AMZN vs KawaSubs
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AMZN
KawaSubs
So, this is what the boys' dorm is like inside.
So, this is what the boys' dorm is like inside.
I've never been in here before.
I've never been in here before.
I guess it's a little messy. Sorry about that.
I guess it's a little messy. Sorry about that.
It's Fuyumura...
It's Fuyumura...
...a girl, in street clothes...
...a girl, in street clothes...
...is in our room.
...is in our room.
Look at what Sanda dragged in.
Look at what Sanda dragged in.
I got you some you-know-whats.
I got you some you-know-whats.
I bought them in bulk.
I bought them in bulk.
Just in case.
Just in case.
Wow, really? Thank you!
Wow, really? Thank you!
That's all I came for. Later.
That's all I came for. Later.
This is a matter...
This is a matter...
of alarming importance!
of alarming importance!
Why would Fuyumura come to see you?
Why would Fuyumura come to see you?
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
She came by to drop off these Bratty Beans, that's all.
She came by to drop off these Bratty Beans, that's all.
But why?
But why?
Because I love these things.
Because I love these things.
So, why is Fuyumura bringing you your favorite thing?
So, why is Fuyumura bringing you your favorite thing?
What do you mean, why?
What do you mean, why?
Look, it's almost time for dinner!
Look, it's almost time for dinner!
He's right.
He's right.
Hey, guys! Let's have a race to the cafeteria!
Hey, guys! Let's have a race to the cafeteria!
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On your marks, get
--
On your marks, get
—
Sanda!
Sanda!
Utagawa, grill him!
Utagawa, grill him!
What's the story between you and that girl?
What's the story between you and that girl?
I'm sorry, I'll have to run it past my talent agency before I can comment.
I'm sorry, I'll have to run it past my talent agency before I can comment.
What's the name of your agency?
What's the name of your agency?
My roommates and I are always goofing around...
My roommates and I are always goofing around...
but we're treated as national treasures all the same.
but we're treated as national treasures all the same.
As it stands today in Tenshi year 5, there are roughly 50,000 citizens under age 15.
As it stands today in Tenshi year 5, there are roughly 50,000 citizens under age 15.
That's a mere 0.1% of the population of Japan.
That's a mere 0.1% of the population of Japan.
Here at Daikoku Welfare Academy,
Here at Daikoku Welfare Academy,
we handful of kids are monitored and protected in all aspects
we handful of kids are monitored and protected in all aspects
of our lives and education.
of our lives and education.
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So, then I say
--
So, then I say
—
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Utagawa, you're the only student who has yet to turn in his Math II handout.
Utagawa, you're the only student who has yet to turn in his Math II handout.
Oops! I forgot all about it!
Oops! I forgot all about it!
Sorry, Teach!
Sorry, Teach!
It's only natural that adults would be deferential to kids.
It's only natural that adults would be deferential to kids.
I guess it was the opposite in the past with kids showing deference to adults,
I guess it was the opposite in the past with kids showing deference to adults,
which is why I think we're pretty spoiled.
which is why I think we're pretty spoiled.
Can you believe this?
Can you believe this?
Is it just me or are our meals getting crappier every year?
Is it just me or are our meals getting crappier every year?
It's because the country is getting poorer every year.
It's because the country is getting poorer every year.
We can't complain.
We can't complain.
I'm just thankful that meat is still on the menu today.
I'm just thankful that meat is still on the menu today.
Right, Sanda? Huh?
Right, Sanda? Huh?
Yep. Kids really are life's greatest treasure.
Yep. Kids really are life's greatest treasure.
Yo, Sanda, what's gotten into you?
Yo, Sanda, what's gotten into you?
C'mon now! Dig in, you guys!
C'mon now! Dig in, you guys!
Lately, these guys have been so cute, I could die.
Lately, these guys have been so cute, I could die.
Lately, something about Sanda's been a little...
Lately, something about Sanda's been a little...
Yep!
Yep!
Right? Isn't he acting weird?
Right? Isn't he acting weird?
I'll cut out the bad meat for you, so make sure you eat it all.
I'll cut out the bad meat for you, so make sure you eat it all.
Knock it off!
Knock it off!
Fuyumura came by this morning in those sexy street clothes,
Fuyumura came by this morning in those sexy street clothes,
and you didn't bat an eye!
and you didn't bat an eye!
What's the deal with you acting all weird and mature lately?
What's the deal with you acting all weird and mature lately?
What have you done with our childlike, stupid and annoying Sanda?
What have you done with our childlike, stupid and annoying Sanda?
Fuyumura was in her street clothes?
Fuyumura was in her street clothes?
Oh, hey, you're right.
Oh, hey, you're right.
What kind of outfit was it?
What kind of outfit was it?
No, it's more than that.
No, it's more than that.
It didn't even register with me
It didn't even register with me
that Fuyumura wasn't wearing her school uniform.
that Fuyumura wasn't wearing her school uniform.
I mean, Fuyumura isn't a member of the opposite sex to me anymore.
I mean, Fuyumura isn't a member of the opposite sex to me anymore.
I just see her as a child.
I just see her as a child.
Hang on, does this mean...
Hang on, does this mean...
Am I turning into Santa on the inside, too?
Am I turning into Santa on the inside, too?
Sanda, are you okay?
Sanda, are you okay?
Huh?
Huh?
A-Amaya!
A-Amaya!
Sorry about earlier. I guess I made things weird.
Sorry about earlier. I guess I made things weird.
How are the guys?
How are the guys?
Don't worry about them. They went to the bathroom.
Don't worry about them. They went to the bathroom.
They're freaking out a little, that's all.
They're freaking out a little, that's all.
They feel like if they see a friend growing up...
They feel like if they see a friend growing up...
that means they ought to grow up, too.
that means they ought to grow up, too.
These days, everyone wants to stay a kid forever.
These days, everyone wants to stay a kid forever.
You're perfectly normal, Sanda.
You're perfectly normal, Sanda.
Thanks for saying that.
Thanks for saying that.
I wish the others were as understanding as you, Amaya.
I wish the others were as understanding as you, Amaya.
Well, that's because...
Well, that's because...
I know your secret identity.
I know your secret identity.
Hmm?
Hmm?
Hey!
Hey!
Let's go hit the baths! Huh?
Let's go hit the baths! Huh?
Hey, don't crash out on us!
Hey, don't crash out on us!
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Don't worry, I'll wake him up.
Don't worry, I'll wake him up.
We'll catch up.
We'll catch up.
Really?
Really?
We'll hold you to it, Pretty Boy!
We'll hold you to it, Pretty Boy!
Quit your lollygagging, Sanda!
Quit your lollygagging, Sanda!
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AMZN So, this is what the boys' dorm is like inside. I've never been in here before. I guess it's a little messy. Sorry about that. It's Fuyumura... ...a girl, in street clothes... ...is in our room. Look at what Sanda dragged in. I got you some you-know-whats. I bought them in bulk. Just in case. Wow, really? Thank you! That's all I came for. Later. This is a matter... of alarming importance! Why would Fuyumura come to see you? What do you mean? She came by to drop off these Bratty Beans, that's all. But why? Because I love these things. So, why is Fuyumura bringing you your favorite thing? What do you mean, why? Look, it's almost time for dinner! He's right. Hey, guys! Let's have a race to the cafeteria! On your marks, get-- Sanda! Utagawa, grill him! What's the story between you and that girl? I'm sorry, I'll have to run it past my talent agency before I can comment. What's the name of your agency? My roommates and I are always goofing around... but we're treated as national treasures all the same. As it stands today in Tenshi year 5, there are roughly 50,000 citizens under age 15. That's a mere 0.1% of the population of Japan. Here at Daikoku Welfare Academy, we handful of kids are monitored and protected in all aspects of our lives and education. So, then I say-- Good afternoon. Utagawa, you're the only student who has yet to turn in his Math II handout. Oops! I forgot all about it! Sorry, Teach! It's only natural that adults would be deferential to kids. I guess it was the opposite in the past with kids showing deference to adults, which is why I think we're pretty spoiled. Can you believe this? Is it just me or are our meals getting crappier every year? It's because the country is getting poorer every year. We can't complain. I'm just thankful that meat is still on the menu today. Right, Sanda? Huh? Yep. Kids really are life's greatest treasure. Yo, Sanda, what's gotten into you? C'mon now! Dig in, you guys! Lately, these guys have been so cute, I could die. Lately, something about Sanda's been a little... Yep! Right? Isn't he acting weird? I'll cut out the bad meat for you, so make sure you eat it all. Knock it off! Fuyumura came by this morning in those sexy street clothes, and you didn't bat an eye! What's the deal with you acting all weird and mature lately? What have you done with our childlike, stupid and annoying Sanda? Fuyumura was in her street clothes? Oh, hey, you're right. What kind of outfit was it? No, it's more than that. It didn't even register with me that Fuyumura wasn't wearing her school uniform. I mean, Fuyumura isn't a member of the opposite sex to me anymore. I just see her as a child. Hang on, does this mean... Am I turning into Santa on the inside, too? Sanda, are you okay? Huh? A-Amaya! Sorry about earlier. I guess I made things weird. How are the guys? Don't worry about them. They went to the bathroom. They're freaking out a little, that's all. They feel like if they see a friend growing up... that means they ought to grow up, too. These days, everyone wants to stay a kid forever. You're perfectly normal, Sanda. Thanks for saying that. I wish the others were as understanding as you, Amaya. Well, that's because... I know your secret identity. Hmm? Hey! Let's go hit the baths! Huh? Hey, don't crash out on us! Are you okay? Don't worry, I'll wake him up. We'll catch up. Really? We'll hold you to it, Pretty Boy! Quit your lollygagging, Sanda! Where am I? Th-The science lab? I-Is anybody there? -Somebody help! -Would you please stop shouting? What do you think is gonna happen if somebody sees you looking like that? Fuyumura? What are you doing here? I came to here. This guy standing here... has an unexpected violent streak, huh? The people who blew up the science lab have no room to talk. He arrives accompanied by reindeer to grant the wishes of children. An old man with a white beard who wears red clothes. The legendary Santa Claus. He really exists. A-Amaya! I apologize for the rough treatment. I had no choice. How did you know my secret identity? When you two caused that ruckus here, everybody ran and hid. But I stayed and saw everything. Who wouldn't stay and watch? What a screwup! I have to admit, I was shocked. That the class clown was hiding this as his secret identity. What's your game, tying us up here like this? Tell my secret to the world? Sell me off somewhere? As far as my demands go... I don't really have any. Huh? Did you think that all kids want something from you? You really ought to study up more on what makes modern kids tick, my good Mr. Santa. I'm enjoying this moment of having other people under my thumb, that's all. Being seen by a kid on your naughty list was a spot of bad luck. Still, though... as a 14-year-old, I can do anything I want. According to the Youth Protection Act, if a minor kills someone, it isn't even a crime if the other person is an adult. There have even been cases where a minor brutally killed someone and then went right back to classes the next day as if nothing had happened. So, with that said, what shall I do with you? Isn't that right, Grandpa? Maybe so, but I'm still 14 on the inside. If I'm the one you're after, let Fuyumura go! Forget it! Lay one hand on Sanda, and you'll regret it! Oh, now this is interesting! You so rarely see a scene of an adult and a child having such faith in each other these days. Let's do this, then. Sanda and Fuyumura... If you kiss each other right here, I'll set both of you free. Huh? It's pretty straightforward. Wh-What? A kiss? That's all you want? Not just a little peck on the lips. Lean in... and reeeally suck some face! Bastard! You're just messing with us! Sanda! Pucker up and plant one on me! Tongue and all! We'll put an end to this crap! Amaya! We're roommates, but I never had a clue. How rotten you are deep down! You're trying to make me cross the one line I won't cross? Huh? I don't get it. What kind of line is this? Fuyumura's a child! Santa would never lay a hand on a child! Huuuh? You just said you're 14 on the inside, didn't you? But I'm Santa Claus! The Santa Claus genes in me won't let me break that taboo! And I'm not about to let you get tossed into a cell... before you keep your promise to me! Now kiss me! I'm not kissing you! What'll it be? If you don't do it soon, somebody's gonna come! Kiss me, damn it! Dammit! I take back what I said! Kids who are cruel or violent... -...or self-centered... -Kiss me! aren't the least bit cute! In which case, I'm not gonna be the model Santa Claus, either! S-Sleigh runners? It's time for a spanking... you little bastard. You're just a source of endless entertainment, aren't you... my good Mr. Santa? I suddenly find myself in possession of lethal weapons capable of killing someone in the blink of an eye. Didn't you say that Santa would never lay a hand on a child? Disciplining me with feet that have sleigh runners sticking out of them is a little disturbing. I'm gonna have to agree with Amaya on this one. Santa doesn't lay a finger on children. But if that's true... why did I sprout these sleigh runners that are sharp as swords? I had no idea that Santa Claus's abilities were so violent. This makes me a damn killing machine! Sanda... What's this? This won't do at all, students loitering in a place like this. H-Headmaster... I was under the impression that this science lab was made off-limits. What have you been up to in here all by yourself? Myself? Is something the matter? Uh, n-no, sir. Nothing at all. Your skin is as smooth as a freshly peeled hard-boiled egg. Youth truly is the most precious thing in this world. My true age is the subject of many whispered rumors among you students, right? I have no intention of hiding it. This year... I will turn 92 years of age. By having near lethal levels of hyaluronic acid and collagen injected into my face, I maintain my youthful appearance and demonstrate by example the value of youth in modern Japan. And yet here you are, wasting away your precious teen years in this desolate place. What an immoral student you are! There's no telling what would happen if the headmaster caught sight of me looking like this. His extreme hatred of adults and obsession toward children are famous in this school. Hifumi Oshibu. Headmaster of Daikoku Welfare Academy. His hands alone are those of a 92-year-old. The absolute ruler of this place, who wholeheartedly believes it is this academy's students who will rebuild Japan one day. With the school's motto as "Trauma-Free Curriculum," based on his belief that the traumas we experience in life break down a child's psyche, he guards the students, always keeping a close watch on their every move. You were all by yourself in a place like this. Does the fact that you are unable to fall in line with your fellow students mean that you are harboring emotional trauma of some sort? N-Not at all! I am completely free of trauma! No, I can see it in your face. You are burdened with something. I don't have any trauma! Every day is a happy one! If that is the case, why are you being so defensive? I'm not being defensive! I just wanted to learn the truth, that's all. I'm not sure if you can tell. At this moment, I am rather vexed. My facial muscles have gone necrotic as a result of too much plastic surgery, so doing this is the only way I can convey my emotions. Children who lie are just as loathsome as children who bear emotional trauma. I see that I have no option but to bring you in to set you straight. To the semi-basement. W-Wait! Headmaster! Please let go of me! I haven't done anything! The semi-basement... I thought it was just a rumor. There really is a class where they put the problem children. Sanda? I'd rather that you didn't struggle so. Youthful appearance aside, I am a 92-year-old man. No! I don't want to go to the semi-basement! Please, sir! Let the boy go! One good thing has come from my Santa Claus abilities being triggered. And that's that I've realized something. That there is something very wrong with this school. What on earth? Why would you do that? That hurts... I assume. After so many reconstructive surgeries, the skin of my face no longer bleeds. But discovering you on school grounds is rather more important. Allow me to call for backup. I never expected you to really show up, but I'm not frightened in the least. It is my duty to protect children. What a coincidence. So is mine. The answer to why my body is so dangerous was staring me right in the face all along. I'm sorry, did you just carve your initial into the floor? It's to let me protect these little bastards... from crappy adults like you! Your shaggy white hair... The lines etched all over your face... Pale lips and sunken cheeks... And dark eyes that lost their luster long, long ago... I don't condone trespassing, even less so when it's an ugly old man doing it. No, your body is just as old and ugly. Hardly, my flesh consists of extreme rejuvenation. Do you think some mere doddering old fool is fit to serve as headmaster of Daikoku Welfare Academy? Answer me this, then. What did you have for dinner the day before yesterday? If you can't answer within five seconds... it will prove that your rejuvenation has had no effect on your brain. Five! Four! -The day before last? -Three! Hang on. Two! -Braised fish? Or was that yesterday? -One! Hold on. Zero! Time's up! -It was boiled tofu! -Old dude food. He hit me right where it hurts. I expect no less of the all-powerful old man, Santa Claus. You're too damn heavy! It's stupid that you have to be pulled to get anywhere! So, sue me! They sprouted for the first time just now, so I haven't exactly had time to get the hang of them! He wouldn't follow us up onto the dorm roof, right? That was a close call! Fuyumura! You threatened me and Sanda. You knocked us out with a stun gun, tied us up and blackmailed us. Now that you've learned Sanda's secret identity, I have no choice but to kill you. All you had to do was keep your mouth shut. This is all on you. Fuyumura, dial it down! It's not like... It's not like I wanted to do it. I'm on a mission, so I had to. Ah, Amaya, a word of advice as your roommate. Those pretty-boy puppy eyes you break out to make people feel sorry for you... I don't think they are going to work on Fuyumura. -Get out of my sight! -Wait, wait, wait! It's the truth! I want Sanda... Santa Claus to start making his rounds again! Huh? My family runs an old-school cake shop. It's about to go belly-up. It's no surprise, in this day and age. There are fewer and fewer children. And the country is getting poorer. You follow me? The Daikoku Welfare Academy building used to be a huge department store. Everything in this country is in a downward spiral. But if people learned that the real Santa Claus existed... If they learned that the legends were true... then the observance of Christmas should take root in this country again! And then my family would bounce back. We'd be able to make lots of cakes and sell them to everyone just like we did in the past. We could talk about how December is our busiest time of the year! It's the strangest feeling. In this day and age, when no one believes in Santa Claus anymore... just these two kids believe in me. The power of two kids who believe! Why do I feel so much power flowing into me from just that? There's no way to tell if that's true or not. We can't trust you! You should at least trust me more than an adult. You saw what the headmaster was like, didn't you? We ran away from him together, right? Kids eventually grow up and become adults. Everybody's the same in that they can't be trusted. Everybody in this country is eventually gonna turn into an old freak like Headmaster Oshibu! I can't trust anyone! Fuyumura! What Amaya said is true. I can see it. Clear as day. Huh? Is that a Santa Claus power? With presbyopia... it's easier to see things far away than up close! There's a sign to the south. It says "Amaya Party." Close, "Patisserie." Huh? It's not a power, it's just old-guy vision? It's not like I've mastered my abilities or anything. But I guess you could call this one of them. Getting old isn't all scary stuff, Fuyumura. I give you my guarantee. Sanda, thank you for believing me! I mean it! Look, before you ask me for anything, there's something important I have to test first! Fuyumura, do you have any Bratty Beans on you? Good. What happened today stays between us three. I don't want any more people to learn my secret identity. Headmaster Oshibu might have his eye on us now. As long as you keep your word, I'll protect you to make sure nothing happens to you. I won't tell anyone. Good. Now you, Fuyumura. Then it's a promise! Fuyumura, who wants me to help her find her classmate... And Amaya, who wants me to start making rounds again as Santa to help his family... As long as they need me, my secret is safe with them. I have to wonder, though... -How did Fuyumura know my secret identity? -Look! I have a cut on my forehead! Jeez! Sanda! What do you think will happen? What am I gonna do if I have a bald spot there? Don't be such a drama queen, Amaya! But it kinda hurts. Yes, I'm quite certain. He even signed his initial in a huge letter in the floor before leaving. An "S." A huge man with a white beard and sleigh runners on his feet... And that keen insight... There is no room for any doubt. It is the man that your team has been so desperately searching for. It's Santa Claus. It's time for the St. Nick Pursuit Unit to go into action.
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KawaSubs So, this is what the boys' dorm is like inside. I've never been in here before. I guess it's a little messy. Sorry about that. It's Fuyumura... ...a girl, in street clothes... ...is in our room. Look at what Sanda dragged in. I got you some you-know-whats. I bought them in bulk. Just in case. Wow, really? Thank you! That's all I came for. Later. This is a matter... of alarming importance! Why would Fuyumura come to see you? What do you mean? She came by to drop off these Bratty Beans, that's all. But why? Because I love these things. So, why is Fuyumura bringing you your favorite thing? What do you mean, why? Look, it's almost time for dinner! He's right. Hey, guys! Let's have a race to the cafeteria! On your marks, get— Sanda! Utagawa, grill him! What's the story between you and that girl? I'm sorry, I'll have to run it past my talent agency before I can comment. What's the name of your agency? My roommates and I are always goofing around... but we're treated as national treasures all the same. As it stands today in Tenshi year 5, there are roughly 50,000 citizens under age 15. That's a mere 0.1% of the population of Japan. Here at Daikoku Welfare Academy, we handful of kids are monitored and protected in all aspects of our lives and education. So, then I say— Good afternoon. Utagawa, you're the only student who has yet to turn in his Math II handout. Oops! I forgot all about it! Sorry, Teach! It's only natural that adults would be deferential to kids. I guess it was the opposite in the past with kids showing deference to adults, which is why I think we're pretty spoiled. Can you believe this? Is it just me or are our meals getting crappier every year? It's because the country is getting poorer every year. We can't complain. I'm just thankful that meat is still on the menu today. Right, Sanda? Huh? Yep. Kids really are life's greatest treasure. Yo, Sanda, what's gotten into you? C'mon now! Dig in, you guys! Lately, these guys have been so cute, I could die. Lately, something about Sanda's been a little... Yep! Right? Isn't he acting weird? I'll cut out the bad meat for you, so make sure you eat it all. Knock it off! Fuyumura came by this morning in those sexy street clothes, and you didn't bat an eye! What's the deal with you acting all weird and mature lately? What have you done with our childlike, stupid and annoying Sanda? Fuyumura was in her street clothes? Oh, hey, you're right. What kind of outfit was it? No, it's more than that. It didn't even register with me that Fuyumura wasn't wearing her school uniform. I mean, Fuyumura isn't a member of the opposite sex to me anymore. I just see her as a child. Hang on, does this mean... Am I turning into Santa on the inside, too? Sanda, are you okay? Huh? A-Amaya! Sorry about earlier. I guess I made things weird. How are the guys? Don't worry about them. They went to the bathroom. They're freaking out a little, that's all. They feel like if they see a friend growing up... that means they ought to grow up, too. These days, everyone wants to stay a kid forever. You're perfectly normal, Sanda. Thanks for saying that. I wish the others were as understanding as you, Amaya. Well, that's because... I know your secret identity. Hmm? Hey! Let's go hit the baths! Huh? Hey, don't crash out on us! Are you okay? Don't worry, I'll wake him up. We'll catch up. Really? We'll hold you to it, Pretty Boy! Quit your lollygagging, Sanda! Where am I? Th-The science lab? I-Is anybody there? Somebody help! Would you please stop shouting? What do you think is gonna happen if somebody sees you looking like that? Fuyumura? What are you doing here? I came here. This guy standing here... has an unexpected violent streak, huh? The people who blew up the science lab have no room to talk. He arrives accompanied by reindeer to grant the wishes of children. An old man with a white beard who wears red clothes. The legendary Santa Claus. He really exists. A-Amaya! I apologize for the rough treatment. I had no choice. How did you know my secret identity? When you two caused that ruckus here, everybody ran and hid. But I stayed and saw everything. Who wouldn't stay and watch? What a screwup! I have to admit, I was shocked. That the class clown was hiding this as his secret identity. What's your game, tying us up here like this? Tell my secret to the world? Sell me off somewhere? As far as my demands go... I don't really have any. Huh? Did you think that all kids want something from you? You really ought to study up more on what makes modern kids tick, my good Mr. Santa. I'm enjoying this moment of having other people under my thumb, that's all. Being seen by a kid on your naughty list was a spot of bad luck. Still, though... as a 14-year-old, I can do anything I want. According to the Youth Protection Act, if a minor kills someone, it isn't even a crime if the other person is an adult. There have even been cases where a minor brutally killed someone and then went right back to classes the next day as if nothing had happened. So, with that said, what shall I do with you? Isn't that right, Grandpa? Maybe so, but I'm still 14 on the inside. If I'm the one you're after, let Fuyumura go! Forget it! Lay one hand on Sanda, and you'll regret it! Oh, now this is interesting! You so rarely see a scene of an adult and a child having such faith in each other these days. Let's do this, then. Sanda and Fuyumura... If you kiss each other right here, I'll set both of you free. Huh? It's pretty straightforward. Wh-What? A kiss? That's all you want? Not just a little peck on the lips. Lean in... and reeeally suck some face! Bastard! You're just messing with us! Sanda! Pucker up and plant one on me! Tongue and all! We'll put an end to this crap! Amaya! We're roommates, but I never had a clue. How rotten you are deep down! You're trying to make me cross the one line I won't cross? Huh? I don't get it. What kind of line is this? Fuyumura's a child! Santa would never lay a hand on a child! Huuuh? You just said you're 14 on the inside, didn't you? But I'm Santa Claus! The Santa Claus genes in me won't let me break that taboo! And I'm not about to let you get tossed into a cell... before you keep your promise to me! Now kiss me! I'm not kissing you! What'll it be? If you don't do it soon, somebody's gonna come! Kiss me, damn it! Dammit! I take back what I said! Kids who are cruel or violent... ...or self-centered... Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! aren't the least bit cute! In which case, I'm not gonna be the model Santa Claus, either! S-Sleigh runners? It's time for a spanking... you little bastard. You're just a source of endless entertainment, aren't you... my good Mr. Santa? I suddenly find myself in possession of lethal weapons capable of killing someone in the blink of an eye. Didn't you say that Santa would never lay a hand on a child? Disciplining me with feet that have sleigh runners sticking out of them is a little disturbing. I'm gonna have to agree with Amaya on this one. Santa doesn't lay a finger on children. But if that's true... why did I sprout these sleigh runners that are sharp as swords? I had no idea that Santa Claus's abilities were so violent. This makes me a damn killing machine! Sanda... What's this? This won't do at all, students loitering in a place like this. H-Headmaster... I was under the impression that this science lab was made off-limits. What have you been up to in here all by yourself? Myself? Is something the matter? Uh, n-no, sir. Nothing at all. Your skin is as smooth as a freshly peeled hard-boiled egg. Youth truly is the most precious thing in this world. My true age is the subject of many whispered rumors among you students, right? I have no intention of hiding it. This year... I will turn 92 years of age. By having near lethal levels of hyaluronic acid and collagen injected into my face, I maintain my youthful appearance and demonstrate by example the value of youth in modern Japan. And yet here you are, wasting away your precious teen years in this desolate place. What an immoral student you are! There's no telling what would happen if the headmaster caught sight of me looking like this. His extreme hatred of adults and obsession toward children are famous in this school. Hifumi Oshibu. Headmaster of Daikoku Welfare Academy. His hands alone are those of a 92-year-old. The absolute ruler of this place, who wholeheartedly believes it is this academy's students who will rebuild Japan one day. With the school's motto as "Trauma-Free Curriculum," based on his belief that the traumas we experience in life break down a child's psyche, he guards the students, always keeping a close watch on their every move. You were all by yourself in a place like this. Does the fact that you are unable to fall in line with your fellow students mean that you are harboring emotional trauma of some sort? N-Not at all! I am completely free of trauma! No, I can see it in your face. You are burdened with something. I don't have any trauma! Every day is a happy one! If that is the case, why are you being so defensive? I'm not being defensive! I just wanted to learn the truth, that's all. I'm not sure if you can tell. At this moment, I am rather vexed. My facial muscles have gone necrotic as a result of too much plastic surgery, so doing this is the only way I can convey my emotions. Children who lie are just as loathsome as children who bear emotional trauma. I see that I have no option but to bring you in to set you straight. To the semi-basement. W-Wait! Headmaster! Please let go of me! I haven't done anything! The semi-basement... I thought it was just a rumor. There really is a class where they put the problem children. Sanda? I'd rather that you didn't struggle so. Youthful appearance aside, I am a 92-year-old man. No! I don't want to go to the semi-basement! Please, sir! Let the boy go! One good thing has come from my Santa Claus abilities being triggered. And that's that I've realized something. That there is something very wrong with this school. What on earth? Why would you do that? That hurts... I assume. After so many reconstructive surgeries, the skin of my face no longer bleeds. But discovering you on school grounds is rather more important. Allow me to call for backup. I never expected you to really show up, but I'm not frightened in the least. It is my duty to protect children. What a coincidence. So is mine. The answer to why my body is so dangerous was staring me right in the face all along. I'm sorry, did you just carve your initial into the floor? It's to let me protect these little bastards... from crappy adults like you! Your shaggy white hair... The lines etched all over your face... Pale lips and sunken cheeks... And dark eyes that lost their luster long, long ago... I don't condone trespassing, even less so when it's an ugly old man doing it. No, your body is just as old and ugly. Hardly, my flesh consists of extreme rejuvenation. Do you think some mere doddering old fool is fit to serve as headmaster of Daikoku Welfare Academy? Answer me this, then. What did you have for dinner the day before yesterday? If you can't answer within five seconds... it will prove that your rejuvenation has had no effect on your brain. Five! Four! Three! The day before last? Hang on. Two! Braised fish? Or was that yesterday? One! Hold on. Zero! Time's up! It was boiled tofu! Old dude food. He hit me right where it hurts. I expect no less of the all-powerful old man, Santa Claus. You're too damn heavy! It's stupid that you have to be pulled to get anywhere! So, sue me! They sprouted for the first time just now, so I haven't exactly had time to get the hang of them! He wouldn't follow us up onto the dorm roof, right? That was a close call! Fuyumura! You threatened me and Sanda. You knocked us out with a stun gun, tied us up and blackmailed us. Now that you've learned Sanda's secret identity, I have no choice but to kill you. All you had to do was keep your mouth shut. This is all on you. Fuyumura, dial it down! It's not like... It's not like I wanted to do it. I'm on a mission, so I had to. Ah, Amaya, a word of advice as your roommate. Those pretty-boy puppy eyes you break out to make people feel sorry for you... I don't think they are going to work on Fuyumura. Get out of my sight! Wait, wait, wait! It's the truth! I want Sanda... Santa Claus to start making his rounds again! Huh? My family runs an old-school cake shop. It's about to go belly-up. It's no surprise, in this day and age. There are fewer and fewer children. And the country is getting poorer. You follow me? The Daikoku Welfare Academy building used to be a huge department store. Everything in this country is in a downward spiral. But if people learned that the real Santa Claus existed... If they learned that the legends were true... then the observance of Christmas should take root in this country again! And then my family would bounce back. We'd be able to make lots of cakes and sell them to everyone just like we did in the past. We could talk about how December is our busiest time of the year! It's the strangest feeling. In this day and age, when no one believes in Santa Claus anymore... just these two kids believe in me. The power of two kids who believe! Why do I feel so much power flowing into me from just that? There's no way to tell if that's true or not. We can't trust you! You should at least trust me more than an adult. You saw what the headmaster was like, didn't you? We ran away from him together, right? Kids eventually grow up and become adults. Everybody's the same in that they can't be trusted. Everybody in this country is eventually gonna turn into an old freak like Headmaster Oshibu! I can't trust anyone! Fuyumura! What Amaya said is true. I can see it. Clear as day. Huh? Is that a Santa Claus power? With presbyopia... it's easier to see things far away than up close! There's a sign to the south. It says "Amaya Party." Close, "Patisserie." Huh? It's not a power, it's just old-guy vision? It's not like I've mastered my abilities or anything. But I guess you could call this one of them. Getting old isn't all scary stuff, Fuyumura. I give you my guarantee. Sanda, thank you for believing me! I mean it! Look, before you ask me for anything, there's something important I have to test first! Fuyumura, do you have any Bratty Beans on you? Good. What happened today stays between us three. I don't want any more people to learn my secret identity. Headmaster Oshibu might have his eye on us now. As long as you keep your word, I'll protect you to make sure nothing happens to you. I won't tell anyone. Good. Now you, Fuyumura. Then it's a promise! Fuyumura, who wants me to help her find her classmate... And Amaya, who wants me to start making rounds again as Santa to help his family... As long as they need me, my secret is safe with them. I have to wonder, though... Look! I have a cut on my forehead! How did Fuyumura know my secret identity? Jeez! Sanda! What do you think will happen? What am I gonna do if I have a bald spot there? Don't be such a drama queen, Amaya! But it kinda hurts. Yes, I'm quite certain. He even signed his initial in a huge letter in the floor before leaving. An "S." A huge man with a white beard and sleigh runners on his feet... And that keen insight... There is no room for any doubt. It is the man that your team has been so desperately searching for. It's Santa Claus. It's time for the St. Nick Pursuit Unit to go into action.
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