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Arakawa Under the Bridge (2010) - S01E10 - ANE (R1) vs LaCroiX (ANE Modified)

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385 행

ANE (R1)

LaCroiX (ANE Modified)

To wish...

Hold a wish in your hands, and it will not shatter under the pressure.

It is not a fragile, shimmering glass ball.

No. Instead...

A wish hardens and takes shape as you hold it tight.

It is a dark and glossy lump of clay.

Its shape may not be perfect.

But still...

It retains the contours of our hands and fingers.

Its purpose is not to transform into a perfect gem,

but rather to become the most beautiful lump of clay imaginable.

A blue sky stretches itself across the window.

Sunbathing in the summer breeze is incredibly pleasant.

Ahh, truly this is the smell of summer.

Or... the smell of something burning?

Attention please! This is a drill!

This is a fire drill!

Oh, is that all?

So it's just...

a fire drill.

Fire alarm! Fire alarm!

There's a major fire by the river!

This is only a drill.

There really is a fire!

What are you doing? You're crazy incarnate!

Hey Rec, you're the first one—

This is no fire drill! It's

This is arson! You're an arsonist!

Not to worry.

I've cleared the surrounding brush.

Oh... so the fire won't spread, right?

Stop freaking out, Recruit.

Huh? Where are you, Chief?

Well, at least you reacted quickly to the fire.

But you have to stay cool, especially at times like this.

Sure, fire can be dangerous.

But we can also control it and make it work for us.

Then, why don't you climb down from there before you say that?

Jeez. Sister, you shouldn't coddle him like that!

This is hardly coddl

This is hardly coddl—

Oh man, I'm really hungry.

Thanks, Sister.

Your cookies are the best.

So are you some kind of mama bird or something?

This is just too weird! I know you can use food to tame animals, but

Yes, well... if you tried to do the same thing, I'd turn you into swiss cheese.

Isn't that a little extreme?!

Actually, I'm in the Chief's debt.

Ahh, I can feel myself drying out.

Thanks, Sister.

Check it out! This water has collagen in it, so my head-plate will feel fresh and moisturized.

Don't mention it.

Hey, wai—

You're being way too nice! It's disconcerting!

They say a kappa will become weak as a baby if its head-plate dries out.

Are we too close to the fire? Shall we move farther away?

It's fine, it's fine.

I've been wondering for a while, even before today...

Just let me know if you need anything.

'Kay!

Why is Sister always so eager to please the Chief? I doubt Sister's intimidated by him.

I don't see any reason why he should respect the Chief so much.

Anyway, it's super hot out here.

Aw man, you're the first one here?

Hoshi!

Cripes, another wildfire this year, huh?

You should never take fire lightly.

Oh my god! You're wilting!

Ahh! Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!

Hey, it's Rec.

You sure got here fast.

So everyone does come running... sort of.

Sure, it's a yearly event.

Really? So... what do we do now?

The highlight of every fire drill, of course. The fire brigade!

We put the fire out by handing off a bucket filled with water.

Teamwork is the key to victory!

That's gonna be impossible for all you solo artists!

All right, let's do it!

Woo! I wanna be in front!

No, me!

Hey, be careful! Kids shouldn't go anywhere near the fire!

Yup. Grown men should be closest to the fire, right?

Right. Grown men. Preferably ones who aren't wearing potentially flammable masks.

Which leaves me, Whitey, or Sister.

Now just hold on. Why didn't you include me?

Just because I'm a spirit? Is that it?

No. But it would be a real shame if you caught on fire.

I don't like the smell of burning rubber, you see.

Fool! If I catch fire, all you'll smell is my legendary aroma!

You should stop trying so hard.

You've cast the gauntlet. Now I really can't back down!

I'll be at the very front. Everyone, line up!

Okay!

Now, follow my lead!

Yeeaaah!

Dosukoi! Dosukoi!

Wow.

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ANE (R1)

To wish...
Hold a wish in your hands, and it will not shatter under the pressure.
It is not a fragile, shimmering glass ball.
No. Instead...
A wish hardens and takes shape as you hold it tight.
It is a dark and glossy lump of clay.
Its shape may not be perfect.
But still...
It retains the contours of our hands and fingers.
Its purpose is not to transform into a perfect gem,
but rather to become the most beautiful lump of clay imaginable.
A blue sky stretches itself across the window.
Sunbathing in the summer breeze is incredibly pleasant.
Ahh, truly this is the smell of summer.
Or... the smell of something burning?
Attention please! This is a drill!
This is a fire drill!
Oh, is that all?
So it's just...
a fire drill.
Fire alarm! Fire alarm!
There's a major fire by the river!
This is only a drill.
There really is a fire!
What are you doing? You're crazy incarnate!
Hey Rec, you're the first one—
This is no fire drill! It's
This is arson! You're an arsonist!
Not to worry.
I've cleared the surrounding brush.
Oh... so the fire won't spread, right?
Stop freaking out, Recruit.
Huh? Where are you, Chief?
Well, at least you reacted quickly to the fire.
But you have to stay cool, especially at times like this.
Sure, fire can be dangerous.
But we can also control it and make it work for us.
Then, why don't you climb down from there before you say that?
Jeez. Sister, you shouldn't coddle him like that!
This is hardly coddl
Oh man, I'm really hungry.
Thanks, Sister.
Your cookies are the best.
So are you some kind of mama bird or something?
This is just too weird! I know you can use food to tame animals, but
Yes, well... if you tried to do the same thing, I'd turn you into swiss cheese.
Isn't that a little extreme?!
Actually, I'm in the Chief's debt.
Ahh, I can feel myself drying out.
Thanks, Sister.
Check it out! This water has collagen in it, so my head-plate will feel fresh and moisturized.
Don't mention it.
Hey, wai—
You're being way too nice! It's disconcerting!
They say a kappa will become weak as a baby if its head-plate dries out.
Are we too close to the fire? Shall we move farther away?
It's fine, it's fine.
I've been wondering for a while, even before today...
Just let me know if you need anything.
'Kay!
Why is Sister always so eager to please the Chief? I doubt Sister's intimidated by him.
I don't see any reason why he should respect the Chief so much.
Anyway, it's super hot out here.
Aw man, you're the first one here?
Hoshi!
Cripes, another wildfire this year, huh?
You should never take fire lightly.
Oh my god! You're wilting!
Ahh! Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!
Hey, it's Rec.
You sure got here fast.
So everyone does come running... sort of.
Sure, it's a yearly event.
Really? So... what do we do now?
The highlight of every fire drill, of course. The fire brigade!
We put the fire out by handing off a bucket filled with water.
Teamwork is the key to victory!
That's gonna be impossible for all you solo artists!
All right, let's do it!
Woo! I wanna be in front!
No, me!
Hey, be careful! Kids shouldn't go anywhere near the fire!
Yup. Grown men should be closest to the fire, right?
Right. Grown men. Preferably ones who aren't wearing potentially flammable masks.
Which leaves me, Whitey, or Sister.
Now just hold on. Why didn't you include me?
Just because I'm a spirit? Is that it?
No. But it would be a real shame if you caught on fire.
I don't like the smell of burning rubber, you see.
Fool! If I catch fire, all you'll smell is my legendary aroma!
You should stop trying so hard.
You've cast the gauntlet. Now I really can't back down!
I'll be at the very front. Everyone, line up!
Okay!
Now, follow my lead!
Yeeaaah!
Dosukoi! Dosukoi!
Wow.
That weird chant aside,
everyone seems to be in sync.
No, it might actually be because of his chanting.
He's... a surprisingly good leader.
Here we go!
Ow! Hot hot hot!
I'm drying out!
Just go get in back!
The Chief is such a brave soul!
Go, my hero!
You can do it, Chief!
The next one's coming right up!
He certainly is well-regarded.
What are you doing?
We're all working hard here!
I know I am!
Sister, you can't let him act like this!
Whew, time for a break.
You—
Here's a pillow.
I mean, seriously! What's with this crazy personal attention?
You said you owed him, but what kind of favor could he possibly have done for you?
It's more than just some favor.
So what, he's blackmailing you?
Oh no!
The wind blew the fire over here!
C-Calm down! Just follow the "three don'ts"!
How's it go? Don't stop, don't drop, don't roll?
No! The three don'ts apply strictly to evacuation procedures!
Specifically, it's "don't push, don't run, and don't shout", correct?
I knew we shouldn't have let Kappa-man handle it to begin wi—
Chief, what are you—
Just let him do his thing.
How can I? He's just some costumed fr—
It's more than just some favor.
He can be trusted completely. He's worth taking care of.
Also...
He loves this place more than anyone else.
He doesn't even have a bucket.
I have to put everything I've got into this one attack!
Chief!
Here we go! The Spirit Special!
Kappattack!
Chief!
Good job, Chief!
Nice spray, Chief!
He used the water on his head-plate!
He's worthless!
Wake up, sheeple!
They're completely blind
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!
when it comes to the Chief.
Yes, that's correct. The large area right in the center of the Arakawa River.
We'll take care of everything on our end.
Sure. Goodbye.
Mr. Ichinomiya, I have the weekly report on your son.
Excellent.
Look at his idiotic face.
Freedom.
Rights.
Land.
They all belong to the people with the most money.
They simply aren't things a man of your caliber has earned.
It's time you realized that.
Sparkling green land laid out beneath busy-looking men in colorless gray suits.
It was truly an odd sight to behold.
Who are those guys?
All right, let's move to the next site.
Excuse me... what's going on here?
We're surveying the land.
For research or something?
No, for the upcoming construction.
We're reclaiming all the land around here.
It'll become a kind of park area.
Have you seen the area downstream? With the tennis courts and such?
Wh-Why now, all of a sudden? Has this already been decided?
That I don't know. What I do know is our president is spearheading this project himself.
Huh? The president of...
The Ichinomiya Group. I'm sure you've heard the name before, yes?
W-W—
We have a serious problem!
Nuclear—
No, nothing nuclear.
Checkmate.
Aww man, you suck.
Shall I lose next time?
Sister, there's more to fear in the world than just nuclear war!
What's with all the yelling?
Listen, Chief! You see...
So your dad's trying to buy up the area?
Yes.
Gotta say, this seems like overkill.
Is he the kind of guy who lets stress drag him into impulse buys like this?
Well, no, it's just that for some reason
he's offered to develop the area at a ridiculous discount.
He might have found out I'm living down here.
I don't know what he's thinking,
but he's the kind of guy who always gets what he wants.
You seem to be extremely afraid of your father.
Damn right I am! If you knew what kind of person he is, you would be too!
Rec, let me read to you some words from scripture:
"Love your enemies."
That's not very helpful!
Buddha says something similar:
"No one can survive an attack aimed here."
Remember that, and you'll want to be nice to everyone you meet.
Mmm, I see.
So is that all you see when you look at people?!
Since Rec's here, should we break out a deck of cards?
Giving up already?
H—
How can you be so calm? Don't you see what's happening here?!
There's a very real possibility we won't be able to stay down here once the construction starts!
My father's trying to force us all to leave.
You can't win against someone like him.
He'll have the government and media on his side for sure!
Hmm, the media would be bad news.
Ahh, it's Kappa-chan!
So cute!
I really don't wanna become some kind of overnight celebrity.
Enough of your fantasies!
We're breaking the law just by being down here.
If the police get involved, I highly doubt they'll let us off with a warning.
Really?
Yes, really!
I see.
I mean, I don't think they'd actually arrest us, but—
What?
What is it?
There's a 100% chance this guy's going away for good!
Argh! You have to go back to England, right this second!
Stop stressing, Recruit.
I've already taught Sister the magic words to use if anything like that ever happens.
Magic?
Oh yeah. No matter what they say, my response should be:
"I don't understand Japanese."
And that should get me out of most any trouble.
What is this, elementary school?!
He's right, though. Japanese people are vulnerable to this phrase.
Ahh, this sucks! I'll be in all the papers! All the evening shows!
Rec, you really are a good man.
What are you saying? Do you fully grasp the situation here?
Of course you don't want your dad to find out you're here, right?
But your real concern is for everyone else living down here.
Thanks for taking the time to come talk to us.
Wha–?
That's not it at all!
I live down here, so I have to look after my own—
Everything will be fine. Your home is safe, and so is everyone else's.
You can't be sure of that.
But still... why do I find his words so comforting?
I hate to admit it, but I actually do feel a little better now.
Here, have a cookie.
No thank you.
Besides, I am sure this place is perfectly safe.
You are?
Yup! You see, in case of such emergencies,
there's something special hidden down here.
I knew it! He's no ordinary man!
I've created a Kappa Barrier to protect us.
Underneath each corner of the bridge, I buried cucumbers coated with bran.
Brilliant.
Then I poured kappa extract over each spot!
We're dead meat!
The only thing that will create is pickles.
Father always takes the most direct path to anything, no matter what.
And he doesn't take his time getting there.
Just yesterday I learned about the plan to develop the Arakawa riverside.
I've been trying to find out more on my own, but...
Just a second!
Sorry, I don't think I can make it to Mass today.
I'm from the Ministry of Land.
I'm here to serve you an eviction notice.
His unnatural speed can only be truly understood by his enemies.
Holy cow! I've never seen someone go all-out like this before. Jeez...
Nice place.
Did you guys already finish the land survey?
Wasn't that a little too fast?
When does construction begin?
Oh, here's the schedule.
Well... construction doesn't start for a while, but you should probably leave soon, anyway.
Even just being here is a crime.
I'm sure you don't want the police to get involved.
W—
We have another problem!
Some official came by with an eviction notice?
Correct.
Huh? What's this mean?!
The hell's goin' on here?
I thought we had more time.
It seems I underestimated them.
I should've set up my incursion countermeasures last night like I planned!
What's the deal with all those sharp objects? What kind of invasion are you worried about?
More importantly, why is this happening all of a sudden?
Oh, that's actually—
Damn those filthy Ministry officials!
Whitey?
Whitey's normally so calm and gentle, and even he's angry.
But what do you expect when you try to kick someone out of their home?
Still...
It's not the Ministry doing this, Whitey. It's actually...
It's actually my father—
I don't care about any of that!
If they have time for this, why can't they lay down more white lines?!
While they waste their time on this garbage,
the number of underprivileged walkers like me grows every day!
Walkers?
"Haven't you played that game?"
"The one where you have to stay on the line until you get home?"
If they can't accept responsibility,
they never should've drawn those white lines in the first place!
Are you some kind of lost puppy?
I couldn't decide whether or not to take Whitey's tears seriously.
Wh-Wh-Wh-What are we gonna do?!
What do we do, Bro?
I-I-I don't know!
Hey, Rec's the only one who's actually met the official, right?
Yeah, everyone else should have been here at Mass.
No.
There's one other person who never comes to Mass.
Excuse me! I'm from the Ministry of Land.
Jeez, what's with this place? How did this go unreported until now?
What the hell?
I thought that cross-dressing creep was the only one with so much energy on a Sunday morning.
Whoa, so hot!
No, I mean... I'm here from the Ministry of Land, and—
Is that right? Well, how wonderful.
Yes, well... I'm here today to make a little request.
Well, I wonder what it could be. Out with it already,
government swine.
Well, to be honest, I'm here with an eviction notice for—
"Government swine"?
Didn't your mother ever teach you how to ask for a favor?
Today's your lucky day. I'll teach you some manners myself, you impudent maggot.
Hey, isn't that the guy?
Ah, it is!
Everyone just be quiet, okay?
He might get on your nerves,
But he's from the government. You don't wanna make this guy angry.
Um... hi there. I'm Mr. Suzuki, from the Ministry of Land.
I'm just a hideous swine feeding off the generous teat of the public,
but I'm here with a request.
Um... did you—
I'm sorry! I'm sorry for being such a disrespectful little piggy!
Did you happen to see the woman at the farm before coming here?
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Maria before noon is the embodiment of sadism.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
He'd already been thoroughly disciplined.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
He's like a different person.
Hey, bro.
Are they really gonna start building here?
Yes. The contract hasn't actually been finalized yet,
but it's all been decided. I'm sorry, I had to come notify you. I'm sorry.
Well, this little piggy had better get going. I'm really sorry!
What do we do, Chief? We might really have to leave!
Would that be so bad? Life a little farther down the road might be nice, too.
How can you—
No!
Nino?
I wanna stay right here.
I'm tired of getting thrown out and isolated. I'm sick of it!
Rock Star Challenge!
The Ad Lib Anthem!
I'll make up a song based on any topic you give me!
And... okay, c'mon!
Barley tea.
Octopuses.
Magic.
Okay, baby! Open your ears and enjoy the show!
I always make sure to rent at least three DVDs.
I keep hoping that I get one good one, but they all usually end up sucking.
Oh crap, I just noticed that both discs of "Planet Octotea 2: You Got Severed" are disc 2!
And the same with Wiztopus Rex!
Hit it! Everyone sing along!
Don't touch it! It'll eat your finger!
Says Nino, tossing a pill bug into the air.
There's a big bang in my mouth!
Says Nino, drinking a carbonated beverage.
What a complicated equation.
Says Nino, staring at a license plate.
Next time, on 11 BRIDGE!
As provided by Nino and the narrator.

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LaCroiX (ANE Modified)

To wish...
Hold a wish in your hands, and it will not shatter under the pressure.
It is not a fragile, shimmering glass ball.
No. Instead...
A wish hardens and takes shape as you hold it tight.
It is a dark and glossy lump of clay.
Its shape may not be perfect.
But still...
It retains the contours of our hands and fingers.
Its purpose is not to transform into a perfect gem,
but rather to become the most beautiful lump of clay imaginable.
A blue sky stretches itself across the window.
Sunbathing in the summer breeze is incredibly pleasant.
Ahh, truly this is the smell of summer.
Or... the smell of something burning?
Attention please! This is a drill!
This is a fire drill!
Oh, is that all?
So it's just...
a fire drill.
Fire alarm! Fire alarm!
There's a major fire by the river!
This is only a drill.
There really is a fire!
What are you doing? You're crazy incarnate!
Hey Rec, you're the first one—
This is no fire drill! It's
This is arson! You're an arsonist!
Not to worry.
I've cleared the surrounding brush.
Oh... so the fire won't spread, right?
Stop freaking out, Recruit.
Huh? Where are you, Chief?
Well, at least you reacted quickly to the fire.
But you have to stay cool, especially at times like this.
Sure, fire can be dangerous.
But we can also control it and make it work for us.
Then, why don't you climb down from there before you say that?
Jeez. Sister, you shouldn't coddle him like that!
This is hardly coddl—
Oh man, I'm really hungry.
Thanks, Sister.
Your cookies are the best.
So are you some kind of mama bird or something?
This is just too weird! I know you can use food to tame animals, but
Yes, well... if you tried to do the same thing, I'd turn you into swiss cheese.
Isn't that a little extreme?!
Actually, I'm in the Chief's debt.
Ahh, I can feel myself drying out.
Thanks, Sister.
Check it out! This water has collagen in it, so my head-plate will feel fresh and moisturized.
Don't mention it.
Hey, wai—
You're being way too nice! It's disconcerting!
They say a kappa will become weak as a baby if its head-plate dries out.
Are we too close to the fire? Shall we move farther away?
It's fine, it's fine.
I've been wondering for a while, even before today...
Just let me know if you need anything.
'Kay!
Why is Sister always so eager to please the Chief? I doubt Sister's intimidated by him.
I don't see any reason why he should respect the Chief so much.
Anyway, it's super hot out here.
Aw man, you're the first one here?
Hoshi!
Cripes, another wildfire this year, huh?
You should never take fire lightly.
Oh my god! You're wilting!
Ahh! Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!
Hey, it's Rec.
You sure got here fast.
So everyone does come running... sort of.
Sure, it's a yearly event.
Really? So... what do we do now?
The highlight of every fire drill, of course. The fire brigade!
We put the fire out by handing off a bucket filled with water.
Teamwork is the key to victory!
That's gonna be impossible for all you solo artists!
All right, let's do it!
Woo! I wanna be in front!
No, me!
Hey, be careful! Kids shouldn't go anywhere near the fire!
Yup. Grown men should be closest to the fire, right?
Right. Grown men. Preferably ones who aren't wearing potentially flammable masks.
Which leaves me, Whitey, or Sister.
Now just hold on. Why didn't you include me?
Just because I'm a spirit? Is that it?
No. But it would be a real shame if you caught on fire.
I don't like the smell of burning rubber, you see.
Fool! If I catch fire, all you'll smell is my legendary aroma!
You should stop trying so hard.
You've cast the gauntlet. Now I really can't back down!
I'll be at the very front. Everyone, line up!
Okay!
Now, follow my lead!
Yeeaaah!
Dosukoi! Dosukoi!
Wow.
That weird chant aside,
everyone seems to be in sync.
No, it might actually be because of his chanting.
He's... a surprisingly good leader.
Here we go!
Ow! Hot hot hot!
I'm drying out!
Just go get in back!
The Chief is such a brave soul!
Go, my hero!
You can do it, Chief!
The next one's coming right up!
He certainly is well-regarded.
What are you doing?
We're all working hard here!
I know I am!
Sister, you can't let him act like this!
Whew, time for a break.
You—
Here's a pillow.
I mean, seriously! What's with this crazy personal attention?
You said you owed him, but what kind of favor could he possibly have done for you?
It's more than just some favor.
So what, he's blackmailing you?
Oh no!
The wind blew the fire over here!
C-Calm down! Just follow the "three don'ts"!
How's it go? Don't stop, don't drop, don't roll?
No! The three don'ts apply strictly to evacuation procedures!
Specifically, it's "don't push, don't run, and don't shout", correct?
I knew we shouldn't have let Kappa-man handle it to begin wi—
Chief, what are you—
Just let him do his thing.
How can I? He's just some costumed fr—
It's more than just some favor.
He can be trusted completely. He's worth taking care of.
Also...
He loves this place more than anyone else.
He doesn't even have a bucket.
I have to put everything I've got into this one attack!
Chief!
Here we go! The Spirit Special!
Kappattack!
Chief!
Good job, Chief!
Nice spray, Chief!
He used the water on his head-plate!
He's worthless!
Wake up, sheeple!
They're completely blind
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!
when it comes to the Chief.
Yes, that's correct. The large area right in the center of the Arakawa River.
We'll take care of everything on our end.
Sure. Goodbye.
Mr. Ichinomiya, I have the weekly report on your son.
Excellent.
Look at his idiotic face.
Freedom.
Rights.
Land.
They all belong to the people with the most money.
They simply aren't things a man of your caliber has earned.
It's time you realized that.
Sparkling green land laid out beneath busy-looking men in colorless gray suits.
It was truly an odd sight to behold.
Who are those guys?
All right, let's move to the next site.
Excuse me... what's going on here?
We're surveying the land.
For research or something?
No, for the upcoming construction.
We're reclaiming all the land around here.
It'll become a kind of park area.
Have you seen the area downstream? With the tennis courts and such?
Wh-Why now, all of a sudden? Has this already been decided?
That I don't know. What I do know is our president is spearheading this project himself.
Huh? The president of...
The Ichinomiya Group. I'm sure you've heard the name before, yes?
W-W—
We have a serious problem!
Nuclear—
No, nothing nuclear.
Checkmate.
Aww man, you suck.
Shall I lose next time?
Sister, there's more to fear in the world than just nuclear war!
What's with all the yelling?
Listen, Chief! You see...
So your dad's trying to buy up the area?
Yes.
Gotta say, this seems like overkill.
Is he the kind of guy who lets stress drag him into impulse buys like this?
Well, no, it's just that for some reason
he's offered to develop the area at a ridiculous discount.
He might have found out I'm living down here.
I don't know what he's thinking,
but he's the kind of guy who always gets what he wants.
You seem to be extremely afraid of your father.
Damn right I am! If you knew what kind of person he is, you would be too!
Rec, let me read to you some words from scripture:
"Love your enemies."
That's not very helpful!
Buddha says something similar:
"No one can survive an attack aimed here."
Remember that, and you'll want to be nice to everyone you meet.
Mmm, I see.
So is that all you see when you look at people?!
Since Rec's here, should we break out a deck of cards?
Giving up already?
H—
How can you be so calm? Don't you see what's happening here?!
There's a very real possibility we won't be able to stay down here once the construction starts!
My father's trying to force us all to leave.
You can't win against someone like him.
He'll have the government and media on his side for sure!
Hmm, the media would be bad news.
Ahh, it's Kappa-chan!
So cute!
I really don't wanna become some kind of overnight celebrity.
Enough of your fantasies!
We're breaking the law just by being down here.
If the police get involved, I highly doubt they'll let us off with a warning.
Really?
Yes, really!
I see.
I mean, I don't think they'd actually arrest us, but—
What?
What is it?
There's a 100% chance this guy's going away for good!
Argh! You have to go back to England, right this second!
Stop stressing, Recruit.
I've already taught Sister the magic words to use if anything like that ever happens.
Magic?
Oh yeah. No matter what they say, my response should be:
"I don't understand Japanese."
And that should get me out of most any trouble.
What is this, elementary school?!
He's right, though. Japanese people are vulnerable to this phrase.
Ahh, this sucks! I'll be in all the papers! All the evening shows!
Rec, you really are a good man.
What are you saying? Do you fully grasp the situation here?
Of course you don't want your dad to find out you're here, right?
But your real concern is for everyone else living down here.
Thanks for taking the time to come talk to us.
Wha–?
That's not it at all!
I live down here, so I have to look after my own—
Everything will be fine. Your home is safe, and so is everyone else's.
You can't be sure of that.
But still... why do I find his words so comforting?
I hate to admit it, but I actually do feel a little better now.
Here, have a cookie.
No thank you.
Besides, I am sure this place is perfectly safe.
You are?
Yup! You see, in case of such emergencies,
there's something special hidden down here.
I knew it! He's no ordinary man!
I've created a Kappa Barrier to protect us.
Underneath each corner of the bridge, I buried cucumbers coated with bran.
Brilliant.
Then I poured kappa extract over each spot!
We're dead meat!
The only thing that will create is pickles.
Father always takes the most direct path to anything, no matter what.
And he doesn't take his time getting there.
Just yesterday I learned about the plan to develop the Arakawa riverside.
I've been trying to find out more on my own, but...
Just a second!
Sorry, I don't think I can make it to Mass today.
I'm from the Ministry of Land.
I'm here to serve you an eviction notice.
His unnatural speed can only be truly understood by his enemies.
Holy cow! I've never seen someone go all-out like this before. Jeez...
Nice place.
Did you guys already finish the land survey?
Wasn't that a little too fast?
When does construction begin?
Oh, here's the schedule.
Well... construction doesn't start for a while, but you should probably leave soon, anyway.
Even just being here is a crime.
I'm sure you don't want the police to get involved.
W—
We have another problem!
Some official came by with an eviction notice?
Correct.
Huh? What's this mean?!
The hell's goin' on here?
I thought we had more time.
It seems I underestimated them.
I should've set up my incursion countermeasures last night like I planned!
What's the deal with all those sharp objects? What kind of invasion are you worried about?
More importantly, why is this happening all of a sudden?
Oh, that's actually—
Damn those filthy Ministry officials!
Whitey?
Whitey's normally so calm and gentle, and even he's angry.
But what do you expect when you try to kick someone out of their home?
Still...
It's not the Ministry doing this, Whitey. It's actually...
It's actually my father—
I don't care about any of that!
If they have time for this, why can't they lay down more white lines?!
While they waste their time on this garbage,
the number of underprivileged walkers like me grows every day!
Walkers?
"Haven't you played that game?"
"The one where you have to stay on the line until you get home?"
If they can't accept responsibility,
they never should've drawn those white lines in the first place!
Are you some kind of lost puppy?
I couldn't decide whether or not to take Whitey's tears seriously.
Wh-Wh-Wh-What are we gonna do?!
What do we do, Bro?
I-I-I don't know!
Hey, Rec's the only one who's actually met the official, right?
Yeah, everyone else should have been here at Mass.
No.
There's one other person who never comes to Mass.
Excuse me! I'm from the Ministry of Land.
Jeez, what's with this place? How did this go unreported until now?
What the hell?
I thought that cross-dressing creep was the only one with so much energy on a Sunday morning.
Whoa, so hot!
No, I mean... I'm here from the Ministry of Land, and—
Is that right? Well, how wonderful.
Yes, well... I'm here today to make a little request.
Well, I wonder what it could be. Out with it already,
government swine.
Well, to be honest, I'm here with an eviction notice for—
"Government swine"?
Didn't your mother ever teach you how to ask for a favor?
Today's your lucky day. I'll teach you some manners myself, you impudent maggot.
Hey, isn't that the guy?
Ah, it is!
Everyone just be quiet, okay?
He might get on your nerves,
But he's from the government. You don't wanna make this guy angry.
Um... hi there. I'm Mr. Suzuki, from the Ministry of Land.
I'm just a hideous swine feeding off the generous teat of the public,
but I'm here with a request.
Um... did you—
I'm sorry! I'm sorry for being such a disrespectful little piggy!
Did you happen to see the woman at the farm before coming here?
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Maria before noon is the embodiment of sadism.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
He'd already been thoroughly disciplined.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
He's like a different person.
Hey, bro.
Are they really gonna start building here?
Yes. The contract hasn't actually been finalized yet,
but it's all been decided. I'm sorry, I had to come notify you. I'm sorry.
Well, this little piggy had better get going. I'm really sorry!
What do we do, Chief? We might really have to leave!
Would that be so bad? Life a little farther down the road might be nice, too.
How can you—
No!
Nino?
I wanna stay right here.
I'm tired of getting thrown out and isolated. I'm sick of it!
Rock Star Challenge!
The Ad Lib Anthem!
I'll make up a song based on any topic you give me!
And... okay, c'mon!
Barley tea.
Octopuses.
Magic.
Okay, baby! Open your ears and enjoy the show!
I always make sure to rent at least three DVDs.
I keep hoping that I get one good one, but they all usually end up sucking.
Oh crap, I just noticed that both discs of "Planet Octotea 2: You Got Severed" are disc 2!
And the same with Wiztopus Rex!
Hit it! Everyone sing along!
Don't touch it! It'll eat your finger!
Says Nino, tossing a pill bug into the air.
There's a big bang in my mouth!
Says Nino, drinking a carbonated beverage.
What a complicated equation.
Says Nino, staring at a license plate.
Next time, on 11 BRIDGE!
As provided by Nino and the narrator.